Frazzled.. - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Off Topic

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Frazzled..

Anonymous

I hope you don't mind... but can I just have a bit of a whine and let off steam? I'm taking a break from my work typing this and I'm so weary. I'm beginning to feel like it will never end and I feel like I'm wading through treacle not making progress through my workload and all my lovely clothes are hanging unworn in my wardrobe as I haven't the energy to dress up. Sorry to have a whinge. I keep telling myself to try to be positive, but y'know, sometimes I just need acknowledge how frazzled I feel.

Rant over. Sorry. Virtual tea and cake needed I think.

Off Topic

31 replies

Latest reply was from

Anonymous

Put the kettle on, and I'll be right over. I need a bit of a moan too. Work has been very unpleasant lately and stressful. It's also not warming up, which means my upcoming two weeks in the field are going to be a bit miserable.

Just break it down into little steps, Diane, and you'll get through it. Sometimes I find that is what helps, even if it is tiny little steps like "pile all these things together on the table, and then have a cup of tea".

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

*passes a cuppa with a slice of cake*

Perhaps you can reduce your clientele, Diane? I had to do that because I was overcommitting WAAAAAAY too much a few years ago, and was frazzled too. The treacle must become light air. Do something fun for yourself each day. Perhaps that's taking the time to look fab in an outfit - perhaps that's going for a walk, or seeing a friend. Making a fun meal. Whatever floats your boat.

Good luck and one day at a time. Hang in there. xo

Tina

Veteran

Oh Diane, it sounds like you need just a little bit of away time so that you can focus again. Work is good, work all the time - not so good.
I have been in the sewing business (mine was making active wear for kids), a person could work 24/7 and not feel caught up. Is there any way you can schedule your projects and then set work hours? I know that the expectations on a seamstress are often very high. It's really no life at all if you're stressed and frazzled while making a living. Here's hoping that things slow down and you start to see the orders go out the door!
The water's boiling and tea is on!

Peri

Veteran

Drinking tea as I type. I'm not frazzled, but sick, and not enjoying your days is not at all enjoyable!

If it is any consolation, I wish so hard I could find someone like you where I live. All leads have failed and I've given up. People who have you are so lucky, and although it may seem like many of them don't appreciate it, there are plenty who do, I'm sure. Think about how much you help people and how rare your skill is. Give yourself plenty of credit for what you do, and look for the clients who do express their thanks. They will help you feel better.

LACeleste

Veteran

Hello Diane,

I feel for you. It is so hard when you don't have time for yourself! Sometimes the work intensity can sap the energy right out of us.

I can tell from your posts that you are a giver extraordinaire---giving and giving and giving your best.

Just know I am thinking of you and wish I could serve you wonderful tea and cakes on my sunny patio while you put your feet up. ahhhhhhh.

Anonymous

Ceit, I wished we could have a tea and a natter together and put the world to rights. Sorry to hear you're feeling similar. "pile all these things together on the table, and then have a cup of tea"..love that

Angie, you're right. I think I do need to cut back on clientele a little. The problem I have is that I seem to have totally lost the ability for coping when pressured, though I was never that great to begin with. I feel I've slowed down too. Must be my age.

Tina, you obviously relate to my plight! I have tried to schedule hours but lately I have been plagued with headaches and tiredness, so I've just been working when I can. Not an ideal situation and no life.

Thanks Peri, I do have a lot of really nice customers and thankfully for the most part they do tend to appreciate me. I have a tendency to keep going the extra mile for some too and I find it difficult to say no I have a couple of customers who appreciate me so much that they keep telling others about me and that's how the work snowballs, arrgh!

Thanks LACeleste, I'm glad virtual tea and cake has no calories! And I would love to join you on your sunny patio.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Diane, some people work well under pressure - others don't. I do NOT work well under pressure. Never have. And the more the pressure - the worse my work. It's good that we recognize these things about ourselves so that we can accommodate accordingly. Build in buffers. I get up earlier in the morning than I need to just so that my mornings are extra peaceful and I'm not pressured. It makes the world of difference to my state of mind. xo

rachylou

Veteran

Oh to catch a break! To have a breather and some fresh air! And not be jerked around... is that swearing? I'm sorry if it is!

Neel

Veteran

Oh dear! I know how that feels. Even being a SAHM feels insanely tiring and its so easy to forget spending some time with ourselves. Please try and take some time off each day. And spend that with only yourself. You deserve it and you need it.

*Joining the tea party*

Debbie

Veteran

Diane it is hard to cut back. Sometimes though we are so overwhelmed that we just need some time. Can you schedule lunch with a friend or something similar? I find just leaving in all for a couple of hours helps.

When I broke my shoulder I discovered something that my husband already knew. I was so over scheduled. I had no time to just do for me. Having been forced to cut back on commitments has made me see that I need to stop and enjoy what is around me. I don't have to be busy 24 hours a day to be productive.

Anonymous

Yes, that's exactly it Angie. The more I'm pressured the worse I am and all my fingers turn to thumbs! Got to take some pressure off. I have some thinking to do...

Rachy, I know right?

You're right Neel. I did just take a late afternoon hot bath and cracked open some new bath gel. Now If only I could switch off while I'm in there too.

Yes, I see what you're saying Debbie. Sometimes and enforced break (sorry, pun not intended!) makes you assess things more. I'm going to need to learn that two lettered word NO.

Debbie

Veteran

Believe me it is a hard word to learn!

DonnaF

Veteran

Does your work involve Easter, graduation, and wedding wear? If yes, I'm wondering if you would consider a minimum lead time policy, post it, print it, and continually remind yourself. If you do weddings (bride, bridesmaids, MOB, MOG, or any combo), I really feel for you. Or set a limit on how many you would do in a year?

I think stress can affect eyesight, and you really need to protect those eyes!

Take care of yourself.

Anonymous

Hi DonnaF, yes I do some work connected with weddings. I don't like to make wedding dresses, as It's just not something I enjoy. I have however been doing wedding dress alterations which can be very tricky and I'm in the middle of finishing an MOTB outfit that I'm making. The problem that occurred a few weeks back was a possible minor cracked or muscle tear on a rib and I got very behind with work. I've come to the conclusion though, that I really hate anything connected to wedding dresses, even altering them. My heart lies with tailoring and day wear, plus run-of-the mill alterations (good money to be had with those). Good point about my eyes though. Nothings worth ones health eh?

carter

Veteran

Oh, how I feel your pain! Another 11 hour day yesterday, finishing the last showing at 8:30. Monday was the same. No full day off since the end of January. Even spent a few hours taking calls and emailing info on Easter. Texts and calls start at 8am, and clients seem to think it's just fine to call or text at 10pm. Lugging my laptop to my daughter's graduation in California this weekend because this darned buyer can't get his act together in time to get the contract done before I leave. So, complaining, but not really. My business, like yours is "eat what you kill"...no regular paycheck and we only get paid when the deal is done, so I just wear myself out every Spring and sleep through the month of July. The Fall is steady but not insane like Spring. December and January are almost always light. I suppose it evens out for me, but it sure is exhausting right now.

claracluck

Di do you remember the kids programme CRACKERJACK !!!? please say you do ( cos I'm gonna look a right fool) do you remember the game at the end were you had to hold prizes and cabbages and not drop any because you'd lose the prizes? my life feels like that most the time constantly juggling and trying not to drop the ball! you need to tailor your life to keep you sane.that feeling of being over whelmed sucks take one step at a time, tea and cake sounds wonderful.personally I put classic fm on and it gets me through.hugs to you.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Hope you are feeling better after the tea & cake Perhaps you could let your lovely customers know that you aren't taking on any new clients for now. It may give you a little breathing space

JAileen

Veteran

I'm so sorry you're feeling frazzled. You definitely ought to limit future projects, or at the very least give yourself extra lead time on the projects so you don't have to rush.

In my volunteer work I've taken on a big new project myself. I'm already feeling stressed. It makes me wonder if this was a good idea after all!

MsMary

Veteran

Oh, Diane! Big hugs! My suggestion is that you finish the wedding work you have in the pipeline and then just plain don't take on any more. Repeat after me: "I'm so sorry but I don't do bridal work." Maybe find another seamstress to whom you can refer that kind of work?

It's been a while since I've been work-frazzled, but between my mom's failing health and my suddenly-heating-up-after-dragging-on-for-more-than-a-year divorce, I am pretty frazzled myself these days! So I feel for you! Normally I work well under pressure, but I do NOT do well with uncertainty, and that's what I'm swimming in at the moment.

WingGirl

My late Dad would always say this too shall pass. And he was always right.

That said, I hope you feel less frazzled soon!

anne

Veteran

Diane, I am so sorry to hear that this backlog of work due to your injury is getting you down.

And I know what is can be like for dressmakers. A close relative is one too, and when she was working at home, she sometimes stayed up all night and pulled 14 hr days. Like you she was good and that begat popularity! She tried to cut down the work by putting up prices but that didn't help! In the end she got a job at an alterations shop where she can just work business hours.

Can your DH and son help out with housework and cooking so you can concentrate on getting the sewing done?

Jeanie

Veteran

I think it is so hard when it's all up to you. I do not work well when I am feeling overwhelmed. I have to chunk the work in with some fun things. Or maybe you could hire a suave assistant Putting on the kettle in your honor.

AJ

Veteran

I'm sending you some of my hot cross buns (cinnamon sugar and craisins on the inside with lemon icing on top) and lemon tea.

It's great when we can learn new things about ourselves during trials. You've learned your sewing niche. A toast to your new business focus!

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

anne

Veteran

Wow AJ I have never seen hot cross buns with those flavours! Sounds yummy!

Adelfa

Veteran

So sorry things are difficult, I hate that stressy feeling! I play piano and people ask me to do weddings. I have learned that doing weddings makes me miserable and so I do say, "I don't do weddings." I'll do a funeral any day! You're getting lots of great advice. My favorite is to raise your prices!

Anonymous

Thanks for the continued tea and sympathy ladies.

Gosh Carter! It sounds like you're stretched very thin at this time of the year too. My sympathies. Tea and cake for both of us

CC, I DO remember Crackerjack! I used to love it. I think I've been dropping a few cabbages lately!

Caro, I'm going to spread the word that I'm not taking new clients for the time being.

Jaileen, yes, I must increase lead time to account for possible health problems (like ribs). I should re-word my T's and C's I think.

Mary *repeating... "I'm sorry but I don't do bridal work" * I hope things calm down for you soon too.

Wing Girl, wise words from your dad.

Anne, your friend did the right thing starting to work for the shop, I think!. I have to say that I've never pulled all nighters though, as I just don't have the stamina, never have. As for prices; like your friend I re-structured all mine last year and raised a lot of my custom making prices. I still get the work! DH has been home this week on Easter break and he was going to help with a lot of the chores, but he was poorly

Thanks Jeanie, I wish I could find an assistant, I'm a bit of a control freak though... and without seeming too big headed, they would need to work to my standard. Someone to cook me healthy meals and do some chores would be nice though

Wow, yummy buns AJ!

Thanks Adelfa, Maybe I need to raise my prices more!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I'm late to this, Diane, but I'm sending virtual hugs. It's tough when we're feeling at the end of our ropes. I'm there, as well -- really needing a break and a change. Fortunately, I am about to get one.

These moments are uncomfortable but they are often a sign to us that something must change -- everything seems to come to a head and suddenly we recognize that things are not working for us. Only then can we plan for a better future.

Anonymous

Absolutely Suz. I really feel the need for change. Something has to give and I don't want it to be me any longer. I know you're off to Banff soon. I hope you enjoy the rest

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Diane, hope you're feeling better today - seems that when we get behind (or just have a very heavy load) it really does hurt our physical health. Every January/February I get overwhelmed with business (end of year deadlines and taxes of all kinds means lots of paperwork, plus our own end year stuff). I'm a big proponent of proper nutrition so when I feel down or low on energy I turn to my eating. I get low on iron and minerals quite easily so I roast some beets to add to salads during the week, eat poached eggs on spinach for breakfast and snack on nuts. B vitamins are also harder for me to get since I don't eat much meat. I usually just try to take extra B and folic acid for that.

Oh and Magnesium oil can be great to help with pain in muscles. It can sting just a little the first couple of times you use it, but it really does seem to help both me and DH.

Once you get this bridal thing past you and keep up with that "No, I don't do bridal work." habit - I'll bet things will feel much better.

12