For those of you who did not become mothers, for whatever reason:

There have been threads over the last few months about childlessness -- those of you who chose not to have children, or who would have liked to have them but biology did not cooperate. It has been on my mind, and I've been meaning to dig out How To Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran, because she puts forth some excellent arguments on the subject. She points out, for example, that even the word "childlessness" is a poor one, because it implies loss.

I could quote the whole chapter -- it's both funny and insightful -- but I will settle for this bit, which I believe to be true with my whole heart:

 "But it's also worth remembering [having a baby] is not of vital use to you as a woman, either. Yes, you could learn thousands of interesting things about love, strength, faith, fear, human relationships, genetic loyalty, and the effect of apricots on an immature digestive system.
 But I don't think there's a single lesson that motherhood has to offer that couldn't be learned elsewhere. If you want to know what's in motherhood for you, as a woman, then -- in truth -- it's nothing you couldn't get from, say, reading the 100 greatest books in human history; learning a foreign language well enough to argue in it; climbing hills; loving recklessly; sitting quietly, alone in the dawn; drinking whiskey with revolutionaries; learning to do close-hand magic; swimming in a river in winter; growing foxgloves, peas, and roses; calling your mum; singing while you walk; being polite; and always, always helping strangers. No one has ever claimed for a moment that childless men have missed out on a vital aspect of their existence, and were the poorer and crippled by it. Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Newton, Faraday, Plato, Aquinas, Beethoven, Handel, Kant, Hume. Jesus. They all seem to have managed quite well.
 Every woman who chooses -- joyfully, thoughtfully, calmly, of her own free will and desire -- not to have a child does womankind a massive favour in the long term. We need more women who are allowed to prove their worth as people, rather than being assessed merely for their potential to create new people. After all, half those new people we go on to create are also women -- presumably themselves to be judged, in their futures, for not making new people. And so it will go on, and on...
While motherhood is an incredible vocation, it has no more inherent worth than a childless woman simply being who she is, to the utmost of her capabilities. To think otherwise betrays a belief that being a thinking, creative, productive, and fulfilled woman is, somehow, not enough [my emphasis]. That no action will ever be the equal of giving birth.
 Let me tell you, however momentous being a mother has been for me, I've walked around the exhibitions of Coco Chanel's life work, and it looked a lot more impressive, to be honest. I think it's important to confess this."