This probably sounds really shallow but this is one of the things which puts me off having kids it will be nice to see some success stories. When we do get round to having kids my other half has instructions to shoot me if i start slumming it in trackie bottoms and hoodies!

It took me about 4 years. I still don't have my body back but I don't know how much of that is middle age and how much laziness when I don't exercise as much as I should. And it was worth every single day because I have my wonderful children. I also decided to nurse both of them for about a year and a half each and I didn't want to wear really nice clothes while doing so.

It took me about 4 years too. :-(
Actually, I lost all my pregnancy weight in the first 10 month because I was nursing. Then I stopped nursing (biting issues), and gained about 15 lbs. I didn't exercise at all during the 4 years, and that definitely didn't help. I've been exercising for about 3.5 months regularly and eating well, and I finally feel like my old self where I can really have fun with clothes instead just making sure I look professional. My body didn't change much except for "le booty" and a few stretch marks. I am still 5-8 lbs short of my goal, but I am happy.

Do you ever completely get your mojo back? And if you manage to find your mojo, do you even care anymore?

I had my babies late in life so I was pretty used to being my old self -- meaning my body, my career, my priorities. After my first baby, I kept thinking I would get my old self back. Trying to get my old self back just about made me crazy. It won't happen. You have a new self now ... inside and out. It's better to embrace that and move on :)

I agree with you Laura65.

My new self is slightly different, I just need to learn how to dress it and I will be sorted.

I completely agree with Laura. If you're expecting to go back to just how you felt/lived/dressed at some point- I think that you're going to be disappointed. It's not that you have to "slum it" in track suits, it's just that your life changes so much. You have to reinvent yourself, re-establish priorities, and embrace the new lifestyle. Look at Brianna (sorry to hold you up as an example)- she isn't even dealing with the post-partem issues, but is finding that she has to re-think her wardrobe. As for our bodies- they just change. Did you know that anthropologists can look at the pelvis of a long dead woman and tell how many babies she has delivered? Don't hold those changes against yourself- love your body for what it is able to do!

Loulou.. not having kinds just because your body changes... please don't do that... the true is that it changes with the age and not just only because of the kids, with or without kids.. the good news is that you can control it! You can make a difference controling what you eat and doing moderated exercice.

For me it took me a year, but I had to control the food during pregnancy and after having the baby, I don't like talking about diet because the true is that it is a way of life... I'm 40 and it is more difficult to mantain the weight now that it was at 20.

After having the baby I was still and hourglass but a fuller one, it was just a question of loosing the pounds, but some people change, many became pretty pears (at least the ones I know), I agree with Laura, It's not a bad thing.. the new you can be better!

I agree with Laura and Khris, too.

I didn't have post-partum issues b/c I adopted my child, and I didn't have to deal with adjustments from holding a baby or toddler. My son was 9 years when he joined our family, but my clothing still had to change some. My activities changed, and my schedule went crazy and I didn't have time for things like ironing and handwashing.

I'm still me, just in a different phase of life. Embracing that was and still is important.

I agree with mojo gone after baby in a cetain way. It's over for the way of life as usual. BUT good things are to come! It just takes time.

Regarding body shape:
I've had two kids and got back into my clothes pretty quickly as a result of nursing ... the body has to work hard to nourish a baby. I enjoyed my food while pregnant (ahhh .... hot fudge sundaes!), but did try to manage my weight. I gained about 27 lbs with each and managed to lose the weight within a few weeks of both births (by C-sect) ... the less you gain, the less work you have to do after. I did gain weight back after I weaned the second because I was used to eating tons of food to support nursing and didn't change my diet when I stopped. After about 6 months, I figured it out, slimmed down, and am fitter now at almost 35 than I've ever been in my life. You have to make a choice to be fit and healthy, it's a simple as that. It is not easy to deny myself foods I like or to workout during my lunch hour, but I decided that if I don't do anything else for myself, I will at least make a priority of being healthy through diet and regular exercise.

Regarding fashion:
I never lost my fashion mojo, just took a short 9 month hiatus! I realize that part is definitely easier for me than some moms because I work outside the home. I *have* to look professional, which includes nice clothes, fixed hair, and makeup. If I were with the kids all day every day, I'm sure my clothing choices would be very different.

I agree with Melody, it was a lot easier for me to keep the mojo when I went back to work. Now that I am at home, I can definitely see why people go the way of tracksuits - you just need a different type of clothes, a lot more resilient, low maintenance, and it takes a while to figure out what works AND looks reasonable AND has elements of your style.

In my case, it took about 3 years after the birth of my youngest to start getting back into a style groove. I lost my baby weight after about a year. Then got to about 15 pounds below my pre-kids weight a year after that (and have kept it off). Although I now basically weigh the lowest I've been in my adult life, the distribution of weight has definitely changed due to kids and age. I've gone from hourglass to rectangle, having lost my waistline. YLF and Angie have definitely helped me solidify my updated style (or mojo, as you will).

I agree with PPs in that you won't get your original mojo back (and your body will change with age too!). You are living a different lifestyle, with a different body. And there's nothing wrong with that!

I agree with everything that's been said so far.

My daughter is only 3 months old, and like chewyspaghetti said, I'm not dealing with nursing or postpartum issues (I adopted my daughter at 4 days old) but there are still plenty of factors that have impacted my style. I don't have time for handwashing or ironing. My clothes get spit up on all the time and need to be machine-washable. I also need more of them because I have to change more frequently due to spit-up, etc. I wear my baby a lot and that means that tops with low necklines, shorter lengths, ruffles, collars, and other such details are out, as are belts and most necklaces. I'm consigning all my cashmere sweaters and a lot of other items that are just not practical anymore. I have to haul a lot of stuff around with me everywhere, so I need diaper bags and/or really big handbags (or backpacks when babywearing in front carriers). I have very little need for smart casual or dressier clothes, and I need a LOT more casual clothes. I find it's way more challenging to look great in casual clothes than in smart casual clothes, and I'm struggling with that and the other limitations I mentioned. I need shoes that provide good walking support because I walk all the time with my baby. I don't really see most of these things changing for a long time--years, in many cases. It's kind of frustrating sometimes and it's hard not to want to dress the way a lot of other posters here can, but obviously having my daughter makes it all worth it a hundred times over :D It's definitely a big challenge, though, and there are plenty of days when I feel frumpy and frustrated and like my outfits don't really reflect myself. For the most part, I'm trying to just go with the flow and enjoy this time, because I know it will go so quickly. I'm also trying to focus my clothing money on shoes, bags, and accessories, not tops.

Ah ....the challenges of motherhood.
As we count our blessings, we curse the changes they bring...fear not you will be your old self in time, and it vary's from person to person and is different with each baby...how do we ever survive the changes to our body and minds during this time is a mystery to me:) We all eventually get our mojo back thankfully:)

That said.... my daughter just found out she is pregnant w/baby #2. we are all THRILLED !! after a VERY difficult 1st pregnancy.....and postpartum problems, she is eager and ready to tackle it again...we women are tough beyond belief!!!

Brianna, please don't get rid of ALL your cashmere sweaters - the spitting up will be over soon. And she also will not want to be in the carrier all the time when she gets a little older. At least keep the ones that you can layer! :)

Thank you for your comments ladies.

I was thinking aboout this last night and have come to the following conclusions.

With regards to a new self, I do not believe I have changed that much. I am incredibly busy with Teah (two on Tuesday) and Emmy six months and my priorities have certainly changed, however, I still hold the same beliefs, have the same friends, I like the same music and films. I guess I have less time for them now which makes me appreciate them even more when the time arises.

I have been blessed with two healthy happy children and a supportive husband.

Style wise I have found T shirt dresses fantastic, they require minimal fuss in the morning. I wear mine with ballet flats and I am able to push 50 pounds of babies and pushchair around comfortably all day.

Having said that I know some women who have woken up one morning and do not recognise themselves anymore, because they are so far removed from there old lives.

I hope my ramblings make some sense.

I have Emmy on my knee and Teah playing with crayons at my feet and I would not change it for the world.

Thanks again for your posts

Oh, Rose, that was so sweet. This time when they are young is so precious.

Marianne, I thought the same thing about Brianna's cashmere. Don't give it all up! Soon enough you'll want it back. The earrings and necklace pulling doesn't last forever, either. Besides, I hand wash my cashmere. In a way it's more practical than other knits!

Taylor, you are so right. We women are tough. And that goes way beyond having children.

I am not sure I really had style mojo to begin with. But with that caveat, here is my story.
In terms of getting the body back and losing the weight. It took me 6 months ( all but 2 pounds by 5) with the first baby and no conscious effort ( but I walked a lot; we only had 1 car). With the second it took 9 1/2 months and the third 12 1/2 months. (However I put on less and less with each pregnancy - only about 25 pounds the last time) After all of them I had a brief period when I went under my pre-pregnancy weight.

While my bust and hips are similar, my waist hasn't quite recovered and is 2 to 3 inches bigger than before the first child. While some of that would be stretching, some is back fat that I haven't lost, and don't know if I could.

In terms of clothing I can relate to those who mentioned the motivation of being back in work. With my first, I returned to work (part time) when she was 7 months old and just went back to wearing my old work clothes (I splurged on my first ever wool suit too. My DH brought my daughter into work to see me and she vomited on it!) Also working in the city meant I could still do window shopping on my lunch break, though this changed when I moved jobs.

It is in the area of casual clothing I have had to adjust, and still am. I had so little to wear I bought my first pair of shorts, bought a cotton skirt. As Brianna said, one needs to change your own clothes so much more. Now I have 3 pairs of good jeans, instead of 1 and lots of jumpers (sweaters). Shopping is a lot harder to get time for.

I haven't worked much outside the home since my second child was born and joined YLF forum soon after the third came along last year. It has been helpful in working out how to dress as a MOTG and I feel like I have some good basics (like the jeans, and a denim knee length skirt and 2 new pairs of boots and new glasses). That said I have a way to go, and tend to neglect things like haircuts, accessories and makeup.

I find the commitment of having 3 kids (my daughters are aged 6, 3 1/2 and 19 mo) quite taxing physically and emotionally and there is no way style is anywhere near a top priority (nor should it be). But they are lovely girls and there are beautiful moments. I have been alternating tidying up with writing this post and found a picture my oldest did titled "This is my Mummys Butvfl fas" (beautiful face) How precious is that!

P S Congrats to your daughter Taylor!

My "babies" are now 15 and 16. Before I got pregnant with DD16, I had a major weight problem. The pregnancy only made it worse. But, breastfeeding for about a year - while also fitness walking an hour everyday and eating healthy (NOT restricting calories) - got me back down to my wedding weight. I used to tell everyone "breastfeeding is the best diet in the world." LOL.

Then I got pregnant with DD15. After she was born, it took less than a year of breastfeeding to bounce back. Plus I started weight training and running. So by her first birthday I was leaner and fitter than I had ever been in my life.

However it is very true my body shape changed, particularly my chest (went from an A to a B, nearly C), and my stomach and waist. I'd never had a washboard stomach in my life anyway, but pregnancy, because I'm so short, did a number on the muscles and the skin that only surgery would fix and I'm not about to do that.

On the fashion mojo front, I was quite a fright during those days when the kids were babies and toddlers!!! If I wasn't lounging around in ugly pastel sweat pants with spit-up all over it, or just wearing XL tee shirts and bike shorts, I was wearing full-on "gear" because I was committed to exercising every day. We also didn't have a lot of money to spend for my clothes - I would've felt horribly guilty buying myself a nice outfit I might only wear a few times a year, or ruin on the playground, so I just made do and wore stuff well past the fashion expiration date - and also stuff just plain too big. I am happy to be able to indulge now.

I look at all you YLF MOTG with great envy!! I never had even a smidgen of your style back then.

How many moms here never felt more beautiful, than when they were pregnant? That's how I felt! For one thing, I loved the fact I didn't have to suck my gut in all the time. :-)

I also want to add that it's important to remember that this stage of life is only temporary. Yes, your body changes permanently. BUT, children grow up so fast! When they are young it feels like this lifestyle change is permanent, but it's not. It flies by - just you wait and see. By the time your kids are teens, you get much of your old life back again. You have more freedom, the kids aren't clinging to you, you can trust them on their own in the house for a few hours, *and* they even might help around the house!

Just last night my DD16 and I were talking and the reality for me is that this (the teenage years) is my favorite stage so far. I don't know why people complain and dread this stage. I think having teenagers, while it does have its challenges and worries, is just soooo much fun. Babies and toddlers are cute and all, and its fascinating to watch them grow and learn... but teenagers - learning to drive, learning to date, thinking about college - are ever more fascinating to me!

It's so wonderful to have women on YLF of all ages and in all stages of life. I learn so much!! Shiny, I couldn't agree more about teenagers. I have always loved being around teenagers. They are so smart and inquisitive and serious about pondering the big questions of life. I love it!

As my dad says, "we enjoyed you at every age." That's key ... whatever their age or your stage in life, enjoy your children. Even with only 8 years of motherhood under my (now expanded) belt, I can say that it goes too fast, too fast!

RoseandJoan, welcome to the forum! I have really enjoyed your thought provoking posts. What started out as a style-related question has really gotten us thinking about the physical and emotional challenges of new motherhood. I really love a good discussion and it's so gratifying to hear others' experiences. Taylor is right, the challenges are many, but the rewards are great and we do eventually get our mojo back. I think you are right on track, RoseandJoan!

Shiny, your comment is so timely. I have been thinking lately about how much I am enjoying my teenager. He is so bright and so funny. It is wonderful to see the beginnings of the adult he will become. It was the same with my daughter. These are wonderful years.

Laura, your last comment brought tears to my eyes. It's as if the words were coming out of my own father's mouth. That's exactly what he would have said. You are right when you say enjoy your children at every stage of life. That really is the key to it all.

Shiny, I too felt beautiful while pregnant. I loved not holding in my tummy too! I loved my full, shiny head of hair too. I loved when my milk first came in because it balanced out my postpartum waistline. I did not love losing a lot of hair postpartum. :P

I've "grown" two inches everywhere, and honestly I think its mainly because my ribcage grew that much. I don't know why, but my ribs never went back after being stretched out. So I'm glad my hips changed since that balances out my top half. ;)

This is an encouraging thread with input from women of all ages and experiences, and I think Taylor said it amazingly.

Oh, and Brianna ... don't get rid of cashmere! I'm afraid you will be sorry about that. I'm always on the hunt for cashmere at Goodwill.

Congratulations on a new grand child Taylor! How fun!
This has been a great thread to read. My kids are in their 30's now and I am actually quite lonely for them. Enjoy those little ones. I was exhausted when I had little kids to watch over and chase around all day. The day does come that you want to make them little again and real tham back in, but it is too late, they are gone.

San, you just brought a tear to my eye. I live three hundred miles away from my mother now and we have had a difficult relationship. There is not an hour goes by where I do not think about her at some point and I now see everything she did for me and my sisters and not just the things she was unable to. We may be preoccupied from time to time but we are always your children.

With regards to what Laura said about appreciating your children no matter what the age it reminded me of a saying. It's a bit hallmark but I love the sentiment,

'Yesterday is history
Tomorrow a mistery
So enjoy the present because it is a gift.

And finally to Shiny, yes I did feel beautiful when I was pregnant.

HI all, such a lovely touching discussion here. Takes me back. It also reminds me of a photo I saw recently on the web site The Selby.

Check out this spread of a mom at home with kids: http://www.theselby.com/2_28_0.....index.html

a couple of close ups:
http://www.theselby.com/2_28_0.....age32.html
http://www.theselby.com/2_28_0.....mage6.html

Her wardrobe and her home are kid friendly, yet radiate a simple available beauty. Her clothes don't look high maintenance at all, and yet to me, she looks like she feels her mojo in them. What do you think?

Thanks for the photos Judy

Although the clothes are not my style I would love to look that confident in my own skin.