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Fashion tips

Anonymous

So here's my question - what's one fashion tip you have to help me (and others) feel good where we are while working toward where we want to be?

36 replies

Latest reply was from Anna

Peri

Veteran

I think about 12 of us are feeling like this right now. I think we need some kind of support group! There used to be a healthy habits weekly post...maybe we need to reinstate it. I've gained about 8-10 pounds and I know I'm feeling the effects...discomfort physically, dismay looks-wise, and anger at myself for talking instead of doing.

I know what I did, and it was necessary, but maybe not helpful. I bought a pair of pants one size up so I have something I can wear to go about living. Everything else was uncomfortable, so I think I didn't have a choice. But maybe I should have suffered through that discomfort as more motivation to change some bad habits? I can't wait to read the other bits of advice.

AJ

Veteran

I like to wear a dark column of color and divert attention with statement earrings, a short necklace, or FAB footwear.

Maybe now might be a good time to try out the neckerchief trend?

Gigi

Veteran

I take my focus off clothing and put it on related things, mainly hairstyle and makeup. There are a lot of tutorials online (YouTube and other places) showing lots of different makeup looks and hairstyles.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Here are Angie's Top Ten Tips.

Times like you're describing are the times I reach for favourite fallback outfits. I think about what will be comfortable, body skimming, and aim to wear flattering colours.

Try to take care of yourself and appreciate the parts of yourself that you like. Emphasize the good! Maybe go for a pedicure, get a great new shampoo, pay attention to accessories and footwear.

rachylou

Veteran

Heh. The scale is lying to me. My weight is the same it says, and yet my food baby has progressed to mid second trimester... Lol. I also have shoe problems because of an everlasting foot injury.

I guess tho I separate weight and stuff from style. I find great entertainment in making new capsules and outfits - thinking, that is, about what to do with what I can wear and not what I can't. I mean, I boxed the shoes I can't wear and have taken them to the basement, and the joy of that has been glorious. Now I'm busy pulling stuff to go with my crocs and make them me and not scuzzy. Such fun! Like a not-boring puzzle. Lol!!

Joy

Veteran

I love Rachylou's approach. My fall back, whether casual or dressy, is to be able to have a column of a neutral color as AJ said. Then you can add yoppers and accessories in any number of colors, patterns, textures and volume to form different outfits.
The advice one often hears is just to change one thing as a gentle move toward your goal. It might be to eat breakfast or drink the 8 glasses of water a day or cut portions of whatever you are eating by a third. You need to get control over something as a start.

ALeigh

Don't give up looking good. I did and it was a terrible idea in the long term - I looked even worse than I was and it just became a downwards spiral for a while. Finding bloggers, friends, fashion sites with other people in the same position successfully looking good and loosing weight really helped me find myself again...

In the meantime!

Curved hems are great. Try pieces that curve over your biggest parts and cinch at your smallest. The old hi-low was popular for good reason!

Try wide boat necklines, things emphasizing arms, necks, away from your torso - there's so many cool sleeves our right now! And as always higher waistlines - makes you have more legs, less body. Don't tuck things in tightly, pull them out a little.

Ideally, anything that draws away from what you don't like right now. And if that means spending more time on your hair or makeup or making an investment in handbags, go for it.

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ALeigh

I tried many, many weight loss things over the years, if you or anyone else is interested, these were what I found worked out for me:

Less Bread and grains are a great start for cutting back. They're really easy to get rid of, too, I found some awesome spinach wraps for lunches. Yes, spinach, they are tasty, way nicer than the cardboard-flavoured rice ones I first tried. Bread is really bad for bloating, as is starch in general.

Tea instead of wine, diluted apple juice instead of coffee. Better for you, and less expensive (bonus!)

Definitely find someone to do it with, if you ever decide a path to go down. That way you can back each other up along the way! It's why I think WeightWatchers is so popular.

The first three days of any change are the hardest. If you get through those, you'll find it easier. This goes for eating, smoking, spring cleaning and shopping!

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I don't know your shape or size or style, but I feel better when my bra fits and is supportive, and as a bonus, all my clothes look better. It was hard to spend the money when I had good bras one size smaller, but I found it worth it.

Make sure you have at least a few outfits that fit well. Everyone is different, but if I don't feel good in my clothes it doesn't inspire me to lose weight, it just increases my negative self talk.

I don't know your life, but I find it helpful to get fresh air-even one minute can help. 5 is good and 10 can be amazing.

Will read Angie's tips later.

Anonymous

This may or may not work for others, but I have a catalogue of my absolute favorite outfits. The 10's in my life. The 10's can be luxurious fabrics that make me feel safe and comfortable; or a really flattering fit that makes me feel good about myself; etc. I get to wear them. Somehow this rejuvenates me and sets the tone for the day or week to come.

I avoid anything drab or oversized or slouchy. All those things seems to make me feel worse.

Hope this helps.

Anonymous

Lots of good advice so far. I'm sorry I can't reply individually right now. I will definitely be referencing each one. And since it's morning, I will try to take a little step forward today.

Summer

Veteran

My advice would be:

Get a great new haircut

Treat yourself to a facial or a make-over

Find and wear your most flattering colours near your your face

Use a column of colour, as per AJ and Joy

Dress for the body you have right now

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

I'm someone who has also gained a few *highly unwanted* pounds. I'm working towards losing the weight. But in the meantime, my tips are:

1) Always have great hair. It draws the eye up towards your face.

2) Light but flattering makeup *keeps* the eye on your face longer. You're a really pretty girl, highlight your best features.

3) People tend to notice a beautiful bag before they notice that the woman carrying it may be carrying a few extra pounds Another thing - I've heard fashion experts say that your handbag must always be in proportion to your own scale but I've noticed that when I carry an extra-large tote, I just look smaller in scale next to it

4) Beautiful nail paint also distracts. No one is looking at your food baby when they are busy looking at your pretty nails

5) A pretty scarf helps hide lumps and bumps while being a gorgeous accessory. This is my fav thing to do if the weather is cool enough for a scarf

6) Show skin somewhere else. For example, I've gained weight on my belly. So I expose more leg, and wear a slightly slouchy top with my shorts & skirts for it to look more 'intentional'. If you feel better about some body part - show it off! Cold shoulder tops, sleeveless, deeper necklines, cut away back, shorter skirts - they all work.

7) ETA: Most important- make yourself believe you are gorgeous. Honestly, no way can you fake it until you make it if you're conscious of your weight. Trust me when I say this - most ppl don't even notice it on their own. It's our body language that gives us away. It says "I'm not feeling fab" or "I'm not confident of how I look". I'm quite the expert on Fake It Until You Make It....trust me. Smile and look self-assured even if you aren't feeling it! Looking great has more to do with your attitude than your actual weight. I've 'looked' fatter in photos when I weighed 8 pounds lesser.

Helen11

Veteran

I'm sorry you're not feeling good in yourself right now. I think there are some good tips above, and I would really love to see the Healthy habits thread again. It was really helpful for me to have somewhere to check in.
Hang in there!

celia

Veteran

Excellent question. I agree with most of what was already said. A facial or manicure to lift your spirits up and clothes ( even if you have to buy a few ) that fit you and emphasise the awesome body you have right now.

Anonymous

you all are so right about wearing clothes that fit right now. It's already an uncomfortable feeling to gain weight (for me anyway), and wearing snug clothing just makes me think about it all day when I move. That isn't helpful.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Wearing clothes that fit you now is key. You will look better and feel better. I also find diagonal lines are my friends. And everything else said above.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I stand nude in front of the mirror. I say to myself out loud. My body is strong. I start from the hairs on my head to to my toes.

I affirm the love and strength and support my body gives me. I admit to myself that I am not where I want to be but I honor the body I have now.

I do not hide it away or talk down about myself.

This has helped me great.

Anonymous

Agree with you Ledonna. I'm trying. I haven't been feeling the greatest this year physically and it's a bit of the chicken and the egg. I was in the shower this morning and was appreciating all my body is doing for me every day.

Chris987

Veteran

These are all such terrific suggestions for ALL of us, whether we are at the body weight we want or not!

Maneera your comments about "make believe you are gorgeous" particularly hits home with me. Pretending to have self confidence makes it easier to get to real self confidence. I don't know why it works but it sure does. So delurked, try faking it till you make it as far as overall self confidence. Good grooming, nice bag, all the other tips mentioned here help and definitely go for clothes that fit. Also what Ledonna said...accept and honor your body right now for what it is..

BrieN

Veteran

There is good advice on this thread, some of which I am putting in play proactively. We had to get rid of our scale last year on doctor's orders, and I have just ordered a new one and I am literally scared to see what happens when I step on it.

Not style related, but the rule over here is if you catch yourself bemoaning something about your bod then you have to also say/think something flattering about it.

RobinF

Veteran

I struggle with this also. As I get older it gets harder to lose those pounds and as Rachy said, even if my weight hasn't changed by body has. I totally agree with your last post about wearing clothes that are comfortable now. It doesn't help at all to feel tight clothes all day.

I know for me, I need to stop thinking about what I should have done or didn't do to get to where I am now, I need to start better habits now. Even just a few days of eating better and getting some workouts in and I feel better right away, and that shows more than any extra pounds.

Anonymous

I'm one of the card-carrying 8 members Peri refers to - lol. And Rachy's comment about being able to compartmentalize style and weight issues hit me like a ton of bricks. How do you do that?? That is what really aggravates/gets me down the most - the fact that the two are so deeply intertwined in my brain.

I am SO sick of feeling so shitty about myself, I cannot tell you. The tips here are all valid and good - and the ffbo plan is the only one that works for me. And it's now my entire wardrobe - all 5 pieces of it - ha.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Ladies, I do not want to discourage you from your health or weight goals. But may I remind you to take a stand with your bodies. There has been a lot of negative talk about body image lately and I would like to minimize it. I am empathetic to your feelings - I deal with this emotional terrain daily with clients, and it is quite normal. Let me help you gain some perspective.

Don't let the extra that there is of you to love boss you around. Same goes for any other body part that you're beating up at the moment. These negative feelings spiral out of control and become all consuming and obsessive. And your enjoyment of life goes out the window. It's non-sensical, counter-productive, and dangerous.

There are ways to wear more flattering clothing to help you through these feelings (we can become as specific as you like - this is what I do for a living!). But the most important thing you need to sort out is what's going on in your head. YOU have the power to do that.

Anonymous

I agree Angie. My intent was not to dwell, but to get others opinions on how to put the focus on the good. Sometimes the right words can resonate for me to get that done.

catgirl

Veteran

Delurked, there is great advice here. I wasn't sure from your original post if the issue was gain or loss, but if you are having a hard time losing weight (or gaining! though that's never been an issue for me), i would also make sure you check your health situation (if you hadn't). I spent a year trying to lose weight that turned out to be fibroids. So many things affect our mood and weight - thyroid, stress, hormones, menopause... It's an endless uphill battle!

Fortunately, my style is kind to weight fluctuation - not too structured, a little oversized, and mostly materials with some stretch.

I'm not the most rah-rah body-positive person when it comes to my own body, so I try to remember that criticizing myself all the time never leads to success. We can only change so much about ourselves, and life is hard enough as it is sometimes.

Hugs!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

That's good to hear, delurked. FWIW, I think you look fabulous.

Chris987

Veteran

Great advice Angie, as always!

approprio

(website)

Veteran

Splendid advice in this thread. I'll echo Maneera and say smoke, mirrors and huge helping of confidence go a very long way. Present yourself to highlight your best features and direct attention away from things you don't like particularly. And keep telling yourself you look fabulous. If you believe it, you'll be surprised to find the rest of the world will too.

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