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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Fashion as personal

reshet

I first signed up to this site two years ago and was immediately in love, but then I stumbled across all the ankle-length pants articles... Being that I LIVE for ankle length pants, and have since my early 20s, the post titled 'The Horror of Ankle Length Pants', in particular, struck me to my very core! I slunk away feeling cranky and pretty much forgot about the site.

Now I'm a couple of years older and hopefully a smidge wiser, and am so enjoying all the smart, detailed discussions about every element of style. And I realise that it is perfectly okay that some people on the internet don't love something that I love! (I've also enjoyed reading Angie's thoughts on the nuances of pants length, and how different 'rules' of flattery will be important to different people.)

I'm just wondering if anybody else has found that a widely accepted guideline doesn't feel 'right' to them, whether this left them feeling a bit personally stung, and if/how they have become more relaxed about diverging from that guideline?

Dressing

29 replies

Latest reply was from Caro in Oz

Thin White Duchess

I can't get behind leather jackets indoors. It works great for other people, but it's not for me. I'm also only now coming around to shooties -- after so many years of seeing nothing like it, they looked like hooves to me!

LAR101

Of Course! People don't see things like I do ... ... almost constantly. One of the things I enjoy about this forum is how my eye and appreciation for differnent styles has expanded. I love how members have shared their style and allowed my appreciation for these differences to grow. Such a generous and insightful group.

shedev

Veteran

I think we all have some. Some trends just wont play well with our bodies or our styles. Is trendiness high on your priority list? If so, you can add some really on trend elements when your crops are less trendy. I think there are some version of crops each year.

If dressing to a set of descriptors or style persona is more your thing, then I think you can wear your crops as long as they fit into your vision.

We all have things we will love that others don't, and times we don't love the things that everyone else seems to be drooling over. You will find the stuff you love to wear.

gryffin

Veteran

reshet - you are not alone!! I adore long blazers (finger tip length) until recently they have not inspired much love even on the forum! In fact, a couple of comments assumed I was "stuck in the 90's" I thought about that long and hard, but you know what? No that comment is in error, it does not fit. I simply love the sillhouette of long over lean and do you know what, that's what I'm going to wear!! Also I'm a total leggings girl and again it's love and hate for many. I almost toyed with giving my beloved leggings up, there was such vitriol on the internet, and then do you know what, I saw a picture of Vera Wang rocking her leggings. That as an epiphony. They were cool and elegant, practical and comfortable - that was probably the moment I really embraced my fashion aesthetic over popular opinion. I wear only black, gray a bit of white and denim - not the most popular color palate. It's really nice when the world gives you affirmation about your choices, but what defines us is making choices that are right for us - whether they agree with mass approval or not. But I think that's a lot easier to do as you get older or at least it has been for me. I'm in my mid-50's and this serene place about feeling good about what I like for myself alone stems from my personal journey and confidence. But if you ever doubt the elegance of ankle pants again - go to thy computer and google Emmanuelle Alt. No one rocks ankle pants like woman does!! The ne plus ultra of minimalist cool!! So go forth and rock your ankle pants - I have to surf for some more long blazers and leggings!!

Sal

Veteran

Yes I do know what you mean.

I like maxi dresses and skirts which are divisive. However I am confident that they suit me and my style, and that I can pick one that is not too much like a nightie! And there are other items that are popular that I have a poison eye for.

I think it is remembering how to phrase comments so we can give honest feedback that is helpful to the poster, but keeping in mind that we do have different tastes, lifestyles, budgets, shapes, climates and in many cases different cultures.

Living in NZ we have different social and cultural expectations than the places in the US where I have visited. We went to an upmarket restaurant in Portland, Oregon and were advised to dress it down, we were too smartly dressed, with me in heels and my DH in smart jeans with a shirt (he was told to change to shorts). I also noticed in Tulsa, Oklahoma women wore running shorts for errands and out and about, whereas here people would only wear them for exercise. Also wearing a lot of black was uncommon in Tulsa whereas NZers love black!! None of these things are wrong or right but they can influence our comments.

I love seeing different styles to my own. For example I can't see myself in a punk 1980s style at all - but I love seeing others looking amazing wearing these influences. It sure would be boring if we were all the same!

viva

Veteran

Reshet, I've been an ankle pant wearer for a long time, and will continue to do so for a long time. I'm a bit of a JCrew devotee and I came here, in part, to broaden my
horizons. But JCrew has long showcased the ankle-pant-with heels look
that I love (also Audrey Hepburn ankle pants with flats). So that look was -- and is -- in my style DNA.

When I first encountered the "perfect pant length" philosophy here, I definitely bristled. Also, I don't always agree with the YLF conventional wisdom about a tapered leg. Or about rolling and cuffs. I'm not always sure I even understand the conventional wisdom, to be honest . But that's okay. Angie has her guidelines and we select what works best for each of us. I really don't want to dress or look like everyone else, and it took me a little while to accept that that meant there would be things here that just simply would not work for me.

Glad you're back, and I hope you'll contribute -- whether you agree or disagree. And wear those ankle pants!!!!

Carole

Veteran

Reshet...how wonderful that you came back! The whole pants length issue (PPL) has always been confusing, and it seems what used to be a considered a "no-no" is acceptable now, or perhaps I'm wrong. See, I'm still confused! I haven't been able to feel right in a pair of BF's even though everyone here seems to have them as an essential part of their wardrobe. It would make sense for my casual lifestyle...why can't I embrace them? What works for some can't work for everyone and wouldn't that be boring anyway. The worst thing would be to think we all have to conform to some set standard of dressing in order to be accepted but YLF is a great place to explore and experiment with new /different ideas and take away what might work for us and make us happier getting dressed everyday.

Anonymous

Add me to the list of ankle pant lovers! I have worn and loved them for years - both with heels and with flats. Like viva, I don't quite understand nor see the issue with exposing a foot and ankle and have tried to look at analytically using Angie's posts and suggestions , but still see it as a totally acceptable look. I truly think it's a matter of opinion, and if you like it - wear it! I think you intuitively know if a length works with pants - at least I like to think I do. Anyways - yes, there are some conventional flattery "rules" that I don't agree with , but I do like to look at an alternate point of view to see if my eye could use a modification or two. Fashion is an art, not a science

rachylou

Veteran

I'm a complete prole on the matter of PPL...

deb

Veteran

Welcome back, reshet. There are many styles that are not right for me for many reasons but sometimes after several years I give in and then I adapt. Style is so personal and I think rules are meant to be broken.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

What a terrific question!

When I joined this forum I sometimes did feel a bit stung or confused by other people's perceptions. I had been away from fashion for a long time and didn't have a developed sense of what I liked or what suited me.

Taking photos and looking at them helped me develop a more practiced eye. I began to understand some guidelines a little better and embrace them for myself, "agree to disagree" with others, and also to question a few that I may have taken for granted. Feedback from forum members has also helped me see how differently an outfit can come across to someone living in NYC vs. someone living in Atlanta vs. someone living in Austrailia vs. someone living in Berlin. As my confidence has increased it has become easier to take opinions as simply that.

So much depends on the details of styling that pretty much any rule is up for debate. Except the one to have fun!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Reshet I am glad you are back and as you can see you are in good company. I wear lots of outfits that aren't conventionally flattering and simply don't expect everyone or even many people to like them. It is all about me, me, me :-)! Actually I am always more than delighted when anyone takes an interest in my outfits and consider that frosting on the cake. And I love seeing how other people's minds work in terms of their aesthetic choices and everything else.

avicennia

Veteran

I love ankle pants and wear them year round because they make sense for my climate. But since coming to YLF I've tried to follow Angie's advice to shortening them to 3-4 inches above the ankle (more capri length really).

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Welcome, Reshet, and thanks for diving right into the deep end with a brave and intriguing thread.
I think you've had company on your journey of style opinion evolution. As the fashion landscape has become more permissive, I think people around here have been more and more willing to keep an open mind about style points that used to be non-negotiable. Taking the lead here,, of course, is Angie, who has increasingly put an emphasis on flexible guidelines rather than hard-and-fast rules for her style advice. Attitudes must change as readily as trends do, and it sounds like you've returned to the forum at a time that works better for you at this point in your life. So welcome back, and I hope your more positive experience continues. This really is a fantastic crew!

Your reply

unfrumped

Veteran

I have certain " looks " I like that sometimes others say should be changed to this or that. Sometimes I don't care, and sometimes I'm taken aback. I try to keep it in perspective.
Also the pace of change and trends in the discussions on the site could get faster than is right for me, if i let it, with a tendency toward showing actual new items( and I participate, so there's that) and less " re- mixing".
But, overall if you try to see more of the fashion fun and bend various rules, you can filter better and still feel you are evolving your style to be current but still you.

Gigi

Veteran

I used to have a poison eye for ankle pants, but I have since warmed up to them and have a few pairs. It was just a matter of learning how to style them, especially with regard to what footwear to wear so that I wouldn't look stumpy.

There are a few big trends on the forum that I am not on board with. For instance, I don't like my bootcuts to be almost grazing the floor, and I also like to wear miniskirts. I feel like miniskirts in general are kind of divisive on the forum—especially for those of us over forty. There's not a love for maxi skirts either, which is another staple of my wardrobe. I do at times take comments personally, but I know that everyone here is just expressing their opinion and does not mean to cause hurt. I think that the fact that the forum is a written medium makes it difficult to always portray the spirit in which a comment is meant.

As others have pointed out, I have grown by leaps and bounds in appreciating other people's styles, even if they are not my own. Seeing different styles has made me more accepting of people in general, I think, which is a good thing!

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I have learned to be less judgmental about styles by participating on YLF. I am glad you came back, but sorry that the prior antipathy towards crops pushed you away for a while. You'll have to forgive us, we can be an opinionated group about things but look, crops are still chic so what did we know? We were probably just not as wise to a coming trend as you were.

Yes I was quite opinionated when I first joined and specifically remember starting threads about this or that horrid style. For example, 3.5 years ago I found all of the backless tops and dresses to be horrid. Mostly because, they are impossible for me to wear at my age and with a 30F bra size. (That's not as huge as it sounds but enough up top to make a bra mandatory at all times.) I complained about pants lengths, I complained about drop crotches and look -- a few years later, I start loving harem pants which have both going on at the same time.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

Very glad you came back, reshet! I always try to keep in mind that what people say is their opinion - we all like certain styles and dislike others. I find YLF to be a very accepting forum, and even though someone's style might not be mine, I (and I think most of us) have learned to appreciate it for being their style, and for them dressing to suit their style. It's like shopping with your best girlfriends - they're always going to tell you what they think

Deborah

Veteran

I am so glad you came back. When I arrived here at YLF I had a very narrow view of what I thought was stylish YLF opened my mind and helped me understand that many different looks equate to style and all women and beauty exits in all women. I appreciate that beauty, and style, is in the eye of he beholder so there are certainly looks that I don't wish to try or wear but I now see that they can work beautifully on someone else. Crop pants?? Well they look awsome on some women and I am sure they look fab on you. On me? Not so good. But I do like a slim ankle pant

Astrid

Veteran

Yes, I've definitely come to appreciate all kind of looks and styles here on the forum. That doesn't mean that I'm always in line with everyone else with my own style. And that's perfectly fine. I'm in Germany, younger than the average here and on a student budget. And living a very casual live that needs a heavy dose of practicality. That means there can be quite the divide between what I'm wearing and what a big part of the forum does. But it doesn't really matter.

lyn67

Veteran

Oh, I know what you mean. I also loved me some ankle pants even when they were not in, but I quickly understood fashion and style is such a personal, thing, fun and constantly pulsate. It takes an old style up and down, shakes it, mixes it with new things, then comes out with it again, just in a slightly different and newly fashionable way. Our taste/eyes and prefferencies are also continuously evolving- so nothing is set in for ethernity. Yes, we do have to "eat our words up", from time to time:-), and Angie is no exception. She has quite a great sense of humour and have heard her quoting this already a few times over my many years on this site.

Welcome back!:-)

Aziraphale

Veteran

I have personally found Angie's guidelines almost always spot-on. ('General' guidelines, not necessarily). She has a deadly eye. In the case of ankle-length pants, they DO make your legs look shorter. There is no question about this. It's an optical illusion that is instantly apparent when you look at a website with leggy models wearing different styles of jeans. However, this leg-stumpifying effect will matter more to some of us than to others. I am petite, so I can't wear ankle pants as easily or as well as a tall, long-legged gal. I still wear them sometimes, though, but I have to be careful with how I style them.

Someone on this forum came up with the expression 'poison eye'. If you have a poison eye for something, it means you personally don't like the look of it, despite the fact that others do. For example, I have a serious poison eye for over-the-knee boots. I think they look awful of everybody -- tall girls included. To me, they make a gal look like Puss in Boots! I nevertheless acknowledge that lots of stylish gals (Angie included) like this style of boots. Going back to ankle pants, I know Angie has, or perhaps had, a bit of a poison eye for that look, because of how it makes your legs look shorter. But since the ankle pant trend has been going strong for so many years and doesn't show signs of going away, she has come up with lots of great ways to wear ankle pants to mitigate the leg-shortening effect. (And who knows, maybe she has grown to like them now. Ask her! She often puts forth the idea that sometimes we have to 'allow our eye to adjust' to a new style).

Anonymous

Hi Reshet, and welcome back! I feel your pain. Just recently on one of Angie's blog posts or a thread someone started, everyone was sharing what they felt was unstylish or unflattering on them. Several people voiced a hatred for round-toe ballet flats (and essential for me at the moment), and some people thought they looked horrible on everyone, no matter what. That hurt! But it also caused me to look at my staple shoe in a new light and consider that perhaps that style train has left the station. At the very least, I needed to add another shoe silhouette to my wardrobe.

I think ankle pants can look terrific, but I appreciate that Angie has pointed out that they can be tricky to wear, especially for someone with a long torso and short legs. The new culottes trend sometimes looks like nothing but unflattering, cropped, wide legged pants to me and I'm left scratching my head about how those are okay, but slim tapered ankle pants are not, lol! I guess it's all a matter of perspective.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Welcome back, reshet. Thanks for the kind words about our community, and great question.

(Thanks for the sweet words, Aziraphale. WOW. And Claire, round toe ballet flats are great).

As far as ankle pants go, I am notorious for my very complicated relationship with cropped pants. A very particular ankle pants combination is my "poison eye", but I like many cropped pants renditions - and I wear cropped pants with great delight myself. In a little more detail, I explained my thoughts to forum member Lynn recently. FWIW, I'm linking to that thread here:

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ye-changed

We all have our "poison eyes" - which we cannot help - because fashion and style is a very subjective thing, That said, my suggestion is to keep your poison eyes to an absolute minimum - especially when you are a fashion professional. Opening up your mind to all sorts of outfit combinations is the way to go for 2014, and the future. You are robbing yourself of fashion fun if you stick yourself into a box of conventional outfit flattery.

I can answer your question with an example. Most image consultants believe that you shouldn't wear black and white outfits with a low contrast complexion because it's flat and unflattering. Well. I wear black and white outfits all the time - and have a low contrast complexion. And I love it. Furthermore, as a Warm Spring, I shouldn't wear black at all. Although I am very cautious about the amount of black in my wardrobe and its lifeless and harsh effect - I wear it in a particular piece and dose that I am very happy with. A certain amount of black in my wardrobe is essential for my style.

Reshet and others, there will always be those who don't fancy a look or piece that you do. It happens on YLF almost daily. I love turtlenecks and stiff masculine button down shirts - which most forum members here loathe. Does it sting me? No. It just is what it is. As long as everyone is respectful to the wearer - and admitting your poison eye is actually good in this context - we can all continue to have fun with fashion. And having fun with fashion is the only fashion rule that should not be broken.

Susie

Veteran

There are a number of widely-accepted looks that don't feel right for me. With some looks, my eye has adjusted and I can appreciate the look on others even if I don't care for it on me. With others, I still have a poison eye and will probably never find the look appealing, on anyone.

I've been here a little over 2 years and in that time I experimented with a few different looks that I liked on others. But I feel like I've come to embrace what is truly ME and now focus on things that I love, regardless of particular guidelines. And I try not to take it personally if others don't like what I do.

Runcarla

Veteran

For sure! I do love a form fitting knit top, but body con according to prevailing wisdom is an outmoded look, and 'fluid' fits and 'slouch' the prevailing fashion or trending style. Right now, it all looks baggy to me! I'll probably figure it out after the trend has crested.

As an aside, Angie has addressed how some trends endure and go on to become classic or iconic regardless of what the current and hottest trend might be.

reshet

Wow, thank you everyone for all these fantastic answers.

Kiwigal it's funny you mention fashion and culture from a Kiwi perspective, as I am a New Zealander too!

Gryffin I loved what you said about how external affirmation is nice but making choices we are happy with for ourselves is even better. And similarly, what Shevia said about your choices being all about you.

If you are not so fussed that some of your style favourites are other peoples' poison eye items, it indicates that you really are dressing for yourself, first and foremost, and that's a good thing.

And thank you Angie for giving me a couple of your own examples of diverging from the crowd!

Lyn D.

Veteran

This is interesting!
I tried denim jackets in my early days on this forum, but they never worked for me. Probably because I wear jeans often, and didn't want to go the double-denim route
PPL I sort-of get, but sometimes the width of the pant dictates how little/much you can roll, so I just 'go with the flow' so to speak!
Welcome back

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Welcome back -so glad you posted this. I love what Angie wrote - artists know the "rules" & know how & when to break them.

IMO fashion is SO personal - it's what we put on our bodies & how we express ourselves. It's wonderful to have guidance from professionals like Angie & from fabbers who have our best interests are heart BUT in the end we get to choose what we wear.

I think respecting the fashion choices of others is part of respecting the individual. It's also a great way to learn how not to judge people who are different from us