Does your hair texture help define your overall style? - YouLookFab Forum

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Does your hair texture help define your overall style?

Aziraphale

Veteran

Springing off Krissy's post on changing hairstyles (http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....-your-hair), do you use your natural hair texture to help define your overall style?

I've sometimes wondered about this. My hair is thick, shiny and wavy, but since the individual hairs are fine, I have an abundance of those little wispy curly frizzy bits that stand out like a halo when my head is backlit. Taming them is difficult. If it's even a little humid, the wavy turns to curly and the whole lot gets really full. The fact that I'm getting a few greys is not helping! In short, my hair wants to be wild, not sleek, and without maximal effort there is not much that can be done. If I force my hair to be straight and sleek, it doesn't even look all that attractive on me. So for most of my life, I've just accepted it, and used my hair's disheveled integrity to help define the rest of my style. Much as I admired long sleek hair -- or perfectly controlled curls -- on others, I knew I couldn't have it, so I very early on abandoned the idea of ever having a polished style. I don't think you can be polished without having polished hair.

I'm very aware that a frizzy, greying non-style is not chic, so I'm trying to go in for a cut and colour more regularly. But I'm still going with the RATE look. I hope it works.

General

24 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

Meredith

Veteran

Interesting question. My hair is wavy leaning towards curly depending on the cut. If I wash and wear, my hair will be a little unruly and I don't feel fab unless my clothes and makeup are extra polished. But I'm lucky that my hair straightens into a rather sleek bob, and on days I wear it straight I feel polished even in a very casual look. So I'm usually looking to balance my style choices with my hair. I feel very lucky I can go cult or straight.

catgirl

Veteran

Yes, I think so. My hair is generally straight and sleek (with a little help) and I think that adds some polish to my RATE looks, and some edge to my work outfits.

rachylou

Veteran

Yes, I think it's one of the reasons I'm RATE. I have those wispy stand-ups.

Alassë

Veteran

I don't feel like myself with straight hair, but messy/boho curls are not me either. I prefer controlled curls/waves since I bat for Team Polished. (My hair isn't polished, so I live with the wisps.)

Anonymous

My hair is fine and at age 58 has thinned a bit. Most of my life I had fought the texture by getting perms(bad idea) back in the 1980s and curling my hair all the time instead of embracing the straight. Finally when I hit age 40 or so, I decided to embrace the straight and stop trying to make my hair do things it naturally did not want to.

Looking back at some of my old photos, I truly believe that I look better in my straight hair even when it is messy. I can change up my hair so that it looks great in a formal situation and then messy it up a bit for a casual sporty look.

Sal

Veteran

My hair has kinks and waves and while I make token attempts to keep it under control it often looks a little dishevelled. I prefer a slightly relaxed style on me too.

I guess you can approach it from the angle of a structured or done hairstyle providing polish to a more RATE look, or a casual do providing a little movement to a more polished structured dress style. Or you can stick consistently from head to toe.

I am trying with my hair as I get older. I am inherently lazy with it but sadly can't carry off the nonchalant bed hair look so well now.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Una, I deeply envy you your hair.

Kiwigal -- I'm also concerned that the older I get, the less I can carry off bedhead. I think as long as it is a nice shape overall, it works, but perhaps there will be a point when it won't. My question is: how will we know?

Anonymous

Ditto what Lara said. I used to get perms, fight with my hair, etc. No more! For the past several years, I've had my hair cut and styled in a way that works with what it naturally wants to do. It's much easier that way.

For the most part, my fine straight hair dictates the textures I wear. My closet is full of mostly smooth-textured items.

Sal

Veteran

I know. I actually think that investing time and money into hair gets you more "bang for your buck" than clothes. Truly people don't really notice your jeans much...so I do spend money on a good cut and colour.

PM me after a WIW if you feel I need to upgrade the hairstyle!!

The only thing, I would not tend to post a WIW unless I liked my hair in it, and I am too lazy to post many anyway. So that may not work

trekkiegirl

Veteran

At various points in my life my hair very much contributed to defining my style. In my early 20s I had extremely long hair (could sit on it) and I adopted a very boho hippie look along with it.

Over the last 10 years I've gradually gotten to the point where I adapted my hair to my style. I went through all kinds of looks while growing it out from a super short pixie cut, and sometimes those hairstyles informed my wardrobe choices, but I have now finally settled on something I think I will stick with for a while because the length is versatile enough to still adapt to whatever style I want to dress in.

Staysfit

Veteran

I have thick, unruly, wavy, curly, frizzy hair that would never dry when it was long. I have had it cut short since High School and if that defines my style so be it! I'm not sure that my hair determines if I'm RATE or polished. My hair does what it wants no matter what I've done to it so I have a wash and wear approach. No fuss at all with the hair other than the color and keeping it short. If I have to blow it dry, curl it or do anything other than run a brush through and add some curl defining product, it's too much.

K.M.

Veteran

Aziraphale, I could have written your post!!! My hair is curly and therefore has a life of its own. And--just as you described--on the few occasions when I tried to polish it by blow-drying it straight or with an updo, it did NOT look flattering on me at all. I think nature is wise and has given me the best hair for my features! But yes, that means I can't pull off "perfectly polished". If I have a good hair day and the curls are all well defined, not frizzy (and definitely not crunchy), it can look imperfectly polished or polished enough. But that's not always the case.

As for how it influences my overall dressing patterns... I think I dress the way I want regardless of the hair. Sometimes I go for a more polished, even uptight look overall, and I don't care if the curls contradict it--maybe they work as a counterpoint! And if I'm leaning casual, the unruly curls make it OK by reinforcing the laid-back vibe.

Gigi

Veteran

AZ, I've been pondering this myself and don't know what to say.

I am reminded of what I read in The Triumph of Individual Style. The authors said that straight, shiny hair looks better with fabrics that have very little texture (I'm thinking especially shiny polyesters); wavy or curly hair works better with fabrics that have visible texture (like knits). They also said that your facial skin can have texture too; mine does, since I have some acne scarring, hyperpigmentation, and some blackheads in my t-zone. So yes, your hair texture can definitely affect your overall style.

I have fine, dense hair that is wavy. It sounds like maybe this is what you have? I have had some luck taming the flyaways with conditioner mixed with water that I keep in a spray bottle. I sometimes straighten my hair but usually leave it wavy. It can be disheveled, but I am getting better at making it look a little more polished by putting clips at strategic points in it when it is wet (I generally let it air dry). I learned this from the book Curly Girl (there are some additional videos online that show more clipping techniques than were in the book). I also had to hunt very hard to find products that didn't leave my hair looking awful.

I am currently growing out my hair, which is at the base of my chin now. I am hoping that if I grow it out a bit, I will be able to pull it back and get a more controlled look. I would also be able to pull back just the sides, which again will make it look more polished, since the sides seem to be the most annoying. I don't know how long your hair is; would growing it out a bit be an option? I am not aiming to make mine long per se, just long enough to pull back somehow. Several forum members have pointed out that a bob around chin length can be one of the toughest lengths to style because it is short enough that you can't pull it back, but it is long enough that it is not fuss free like a pixie.

I'm probably just rambling and not helping. I guess I am pondering this myself but have not come up with an answer. I don't want my hair to define my style, because I think that if I wanted hair that was easy to manage and didn't require a lot of work, it would be a pixie cut, and that is really not me. It fits the Kibbe gamine look that I am typed into, but I don't always want to look that way. I want my hair to be versatile, since I have a variety of style personas, and a short pixie cut is not that versatile IMO.

K.M.

Veteran

PS. I forgot. My hair is also graying. I've had highlights for a few years (my hair is medium brown). The highlights help hide the gray hairs and I find them a little more low-maintenance and longer-lasting than full on dying the hair.

Katya

Interesting question. When I was young, my hair was extremely thick and wavy. It made enough of a statement that I didn't feel the need to wear much in the way of jewelry or patterned fabrics. Now that my hair is thinner and straighter, I feel that I need more accessories to give my look some presence. So I tend to wear larger earrings and a necklace or scarf more often. I also find myself drawn more to patterns in my tees and shirts. So in that respect, the change in my hair has defined my style to a certain extent.

frannieb

Veteran

Great post - I love my hair and my hair defines my style 100%. For years and years and years I feel into the trap of processing and straightening my hair. Then around my late 20"s I went with my natural hair and then I went with Dreads. I love my dreads
When I got my dreads oh so long ago - it was hard to find a stylist in MN who did dreads and most people didn't know what polished well kept dreads were. Most only knew the Bob Marley thing.
I drove a long way to my stylist and then she left the business for kids - luckily she taught my friend how to do my dreads Who did them for years and then 10 years ago I found Dre my wonderful hairstylist - natural hair was still a new thing. He had a chair in a barbershop. 10 years later he has his own shop with 5 chairs and a very busy book. Natural hair has come a long way in MN.
Long story to say my dreads define my style - I could easily be very natural, boho, rasta with them. However I keep them styled in a very polished well maintained state. I'm at the shop every two weeks like a little old lady getting them refreshed and sitting under the drier.

My Dreads are my signature.

Sidenote once upon a time I did do the very rasta super long multi colored hair thing - it was a kind a rasta/punk look. Still always polished and well kept.

I'm pretty sure I'm rambling now.

stainedglass

My hair has definitely influenced my lean towards a RATE style. It's thick and curly and if there's the least bit of humidity, it will start sticking up in every direction. Once or twice in junior high I tried to straighten it, but the minute that I walked outside, it did whatever it wanted to do. It's getting worse now that I've got 10-20% white hair; the white hair is kinky and curly, much more so than the rest of my hair. I stick to a wash and air dry style with a little bit of product so that my hair dries wavy to curly.

Summer

Veteran

I think it's best to go with what you have where hair is concerned, unless you're prepared to devote a lot of time to styling. Having said that, the products that we have available now make it a lot easier to to tame wayward hair.

I agree that with grey hair a good cut is absolutely essential.

Astrid

Veteran

I think fighting with your natural hair is never a good idea. That said, I see hair kind of seperate from clothing style. I don't like the idea of someone needing to tame wild or frizzy hair to be "polished" for example, as if shiny/tame/straight/well defined hair is the only way. Not everyone who has frizzy hair or wild curls likes RATE or boho or whatever. If your hair in its natural state meshes with your preferred clothing style seamlessly, great. And if it doesn't, you'll have a nice contrast going on. Also great!

Sara L.

Veteran

Interesting question. My hair is straight and very thick. It has a slight wave that's only obvious when it's short. Otherwise it's so heavy that it pulls the wave out. My hair tends to look polished and I prefer polished looks. I'm not sure if that's caused by having sleek hair or just a coincidence.

lyn67

Veteran

I often struggle with my hair, and so I hope it is not defining my overall style! Once in my fourties I have had baby fine, thinning all around and limp hair which i could never grown back to my shoulders(like in my youth) and I really don't know if there is a style which suits this miserable condition if left unkept or on it's own alone. I try to do my best washing, blowdrying, styling etc. every other day, but I fear the day when getting too old to be able to do all this effort for just looking acceptable. It's really hard, or am I weak:-(.

Caro

Yes, absolutely! My hair is naturally curly, and I tend to have a kind of hippie/rocker style in general. But I realize that my hair kind of creates that vibe, because when it is straightened, I feel totally different, and I dress differently! With straight hair I tend to want to be more trendy and cute; for some reason I feel more "together" and choosing an outfit seems to be easier somehow. I know its all in my head! Great thread, thanks!

KikiG

Veteran

My hair has driven my style more than my style has driven my hair.

I used to have fine, thick straight hair, and I had a bob and wore simple, functional, tailored clothing. Then my hair got texture, the bob didn't work because it went all wonky in the back, and for several years, we struggled with each other. With age, I now have the perm I spent money to get in the 1980s, which, ironically enough, I now straighten with heat. Then I grew my hair past my chin at the suggestion of a friend and started to iron out the texture. This got an excellent response (I sort of have an informal committee at work that I have empowered to comment on my style and fashion choices) and my style responded by taking some chances, figuring out that I could wear heels if I spend money to get really comfortable ones, and becoming less tailored and more girly and fun. So I thank my hair and my committee!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I don't exactly fight my hair, but I definitely tend more towards trying to make my hair suit my style rather than the other way around.

I grew up with thick, curly, tending towards frizzy hair. I hated it, quite frankly. As I've aged, my hair has thinned a bit and has calmed down, but it still tends to be a bit unruly and quickly turns frizzy in humid conditions.

I have posted some curly vs straight posts in the past, and gotten fairly equally divided feedback on my hair -- some people prefer it curly, others straight. I tend to prefer it straight because it seems to suit my style better, but it takes too much effort to get it sleek and straight on a daily basis.

So I suppose you could say I compromise. My hair definitely does not drive my style. I don't hate my hair the way I did when I was young, and in fact, most days I like it, but it sure would be easier for my style if my hair were sleek and straight rock star cool girl hair.