Yes, I have now for many years. I am just not good at working with my hair and I don't want to. So many years ago , I got a haircut that she does what my hair wants it to. I rarely even blow dry anymore. I slick it back and I am done.

Sigh--I'll start a different thread on fine, straight, hair. Since letting it go gray, it does have less texture. When I started coloring it my hair was much more abundant. I avoid blow drying because it is too delicate, sometimes use curlers on nearly dry hair. Yuck. I do need a different hairdresser now and I'm certain I'm going to have to go shorter. I don't like the way I look with my hair pulled back or up. Nobody else does either.

Thanks for starting this thread. I'll get my thoughts together so we can explore fine, thin, straight hair.

Gigi, Smittie, and other NaturallyCurly rabbit hole people --

Too funny. BTDT. 2 b/c coarse thick wavy highly porous here. Grew up knowing nothing about how to treat my natural texture but went to sulfate-free co-washing and limited heat quite a few years ago. RATE hair and nails despite minimally RATE style.

Here's the thing: I get very regular cuts but am LAZY about hair and hate product. [Pardon: I adopt the Frenchwoman attitude.] The NC.com "product cocktails," dewpoint checking, protein or no protein conditioners/shampoos etc etc OMG. I did try but....

My lessons:

• trying to "push my curl" with product gave me a better initial look but problems later in day/day 2 or 3.

• gels and mousses are supposed to be "ideal" for my hair but see above. And I'm sensitive to fragrance. A heavy-but-not-too-heavy cream is my 1-and-done go-to for all seasons [Slept In by S*xy Hair] and I put up with the attitude I sometimes get when I cart it along to curl-friendly salons. In hotter weather a few others or just some leave-in conditioner are fine.

Now, above is partially due to the fact that my hair looks best/most wavy in hot weather [dry gives perfect higher-curl waves, humid gives bigger lush 70s hair] -- and I'm out and about in a damp wet place most of the year! It is what it is.

Soooooo -- maybe try a few products outside the "recs," find one or a couple that are good enough, and move on til you feel like revisiting?

*****

Ms Maven -- my mom has your hair and since the grass is always greener went through phases of perming etc.

She's basically had the Anna Wintour bob for ages now and even in extreme weather her hair almost always looks perfect/behaves after 5 minutes of blowdrying. [/sigh] So I think cut is king and IIRC you look great in a bob -- is it not performing anymore? My mom does color, though. If you're not opposed to chemicals you might try a clear "cellophane" glaze to add some body.

Me again --

I kept rewriting this so as not to sound bratty but here's the blunt version (which is distilled from curly hair stylists) --

You can't get frustrated with your natural texture looking like crap [in your opinion] if you're just trying it out now and again. Heat damages hair, period. Frequent shampooing and some chemicals (sulfates) dry out hair.

So you need to commit to the reduced washing and minimal heat styling for several, probably 6 or so, months. And get as much of the damage cut off. Your hair may look worse initially, too.

***

Back to me. I've seen the above work well for an older friend who's fine wavy hair was thinning and breaking off [she'd been color-free for a year+ and hates product, so it was the heat].

Another curly girl here! For years I wore my hair quite short and thought I just had a lot of "body". When I started growing it out, and maybe because of age, it got more curly. Then I started straightening it, did that for years and had a kind of graduated bob. Finally a few years ago I got sick of straightening it and having it look bad in humid weather and decided to let the curls have their way. But this isn't actually a whole lot easier. My hair is more very wavy than curly and needs product to keep from being frizzy and I don't like a lot of products.

Anyway, I shower and wet it every day but only wash it once or twice a week. Then I use leave-in conditioner in it and Tigi Curls Rock Curl Amplifier. Before I found the Tigi I had to add all kinds of product but this works pretty well by itself. Then I diffuse it until kind of dry and the style is more or less "set" and let it air dry the rest of the way. It's not perfect and some days looks great, others not so much but most days I can live with it.

Vix, good advice, but not for my FINE curly hair which is starting to thin. Reduced washing (or washing with conditioner) and air drying left me with head full of dismal-looking, scraggly, limp curls. On the other hand, working a bit of body-building mousse mixed with a smudge of curl cream into freshly washed and conditioned, damp (not wet!) hair, followed by a minute or two with a dryer set on low heat, low speed worked wonders.

Curly hair needs a good cut, but that is true of almost any hair type. What proponents of working with "natural texture" minimize is many of us will need considerable time, patience, and experimenting to figure out how to work with our natural hair texture in order to get it to look its best.

In my case, I was NOT one of those lucky women who could just get a good cut, shake out a head full of gorgeous, shiny tendrils, and stride off into the world. It took me a year of experimenting and a drawer full of product before I could make my "natural" look work. I've grown to like my curls, but, truthfully, life was much, much easier when I could just wield a hairdryer and a straightener to subdue my natural texture and emerge with shiny, straight bob.

Vix - Thank you for your experience.
The part when you say,

"My lessons:

• trying to "push my curl" with product gave me a better initial look but problems later in day/day 2 or 3."

...is what I'm finding.

I've committed to reduced washing, and washing only with conditioner. This part is really working for me.

I'm going to try a cream because I too don't like the product on my hair.

I have a ton of very fine, very curly hair. It can be challenging at times, particularly when it's really humid. I work with its natural texture, and I think it looks best that way. Using products specifically formulated for curly hair along with not blow drying it help, I believe. I also get it cut by someone who is very knowledgeable about working with curly hair which is perhaps most helpful of all. My hairdresser says my hair is in good shape because I don't use a hair dryer, straightening iron, etc., on it.

Vix, I agree that you have to really commit to working with your natural texture for quite a while before you know what it is and what it wants. I've been doing that for a few years now. The problem is, ironically, that my hair has gotten much healthier as I have done this, and now it is quite low porosity and sensitive to most products, which either create build-up (polyquats, I'm looking at you) or have proteins that leave my hair brittle or overly soft or even straight. It was a lot easier when I was in the early stages of working with my natural texture and could throw products at it with abandon and have them all be soaked up!

I think that the key is to use heat to make the conditioner penetrate my hair, but I'm not sure I'm willing to make the effort. As Gaylene said, it starts to be easier to grab the blowdryer and a round brush and finish off with a flat iron. Hee hee.

I do agree that trying to push the curl on day 1 of a wash can create problems on day 2. On day 2, my hair is quite straight from the scalp to about the ears, and curly only at the ends, which looks silly. On day 3, it actually looks a little better, since the curly parts have now reduced to big waves, which is less of a contrast with the straight parts. I can even get away with brushing my hair on days 3 and 4! (The horror!)

I think all in all, it is time for a hair cut. I think maybe my layers aren't working: top layer is too long, bottom layer is too heavy. I really don't want to go to a curly hair specialist. My hair doesn't shrink up that much from wet to dry, and I'm not sure that it will be that productive.

Ms Maven
I'm looking forward to your thread on straight fine hair. I'm in war with mine since I stopped coloring it. I love my grey color and hate the texture of my hair - limp and keeps shape only for a couple of hours after styling

Haha yes, ever since one weekend in high school--we were standing around waiting for rides, in a fine misty drizzle and half the girls were saying "oh no, my hair is curling" and the other half were saying "oh no, my hair is going straight!" That's when I asked myself, "what is wrong with this picture?"

Since then, I have chosen to work with my fine limp straight hair. "Body perms" were out because it still would require mucho styling every day. My solution has been to wear it long and straight, because the weight kept it in line. My mother and son have the same hair, with shorter cuts (Mom often perms hers really tight and short), but both of them feel compelled to wash it or at least wet it down, every time they get up, even from a nap, because it sticks up so much (one reason I can't really do bangs).

In university days I saved up and went to the Vidal Sassoon salon in Yorkville. I asked for a cut that would make everyone else wish for straight hair like mine. The stylist did not disappoint; I ended up with a Wintour-like angled bob, blunt cut, that I've been trying to recreate ever since. (The stylist insisted on doing something different on my return visit, so I never went back again.)

For my wedding, my long hair was set in waves, with a ton of product. The pre-wedding day tryout proved it was a waste of time but I didn't have another day to spend at the salon experimenting. SO in the photos taken before the wedding, I sported a gentle curl, and afterwards it was stick straight.

Now that I am mostly grey, my hair has changed texture significantly. The white hairs have much more body, stand away from my scalp. So I am learning new rules of what works for me. i wear it a bit shorter (still to my collarbone), rarely wear it up or back (my previous default), and never touch it with a brush or comb, which brings back the limp stuck-to-my-head look. This suits my RATEness; I could never pull off sleek. I shampoo less often (I can easily go 3 days instead of 2), and recently have begun to experiment with applying conditioner AFTER I wash it; used to have to do this before the shampoo because it weighed my hair down so much.

Waiting for MsMaven's fine hair thread...

Swimming in High School and my coarse, thick wavy hair were not a good pairing. My hair was continually wet, and I always felt cold. Cutting it short was the best solution, and has remained my hair management strategy ever since - with a few disastrous and short lived attempts to grow it longer. A bit of hair product, a quick comb through and I'm ready for the day. No hair dryer, irons, or fuss.