Did you feel odd when you first started dressing fab? - YouLookFab Forum

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Did you feel odd when you first started dressing fab?

teeandcee

Or trying to dress fab anyway.

I feel odd. I think I fake confidence successfully, but inside I feel like I'm wearing a costume. Yet I admire ladies I see out and about who're dressed nicely.

For instance, I've had ample opportunity to wear my new fabulicious flesh-toned wedges and based on my pics they look awesome with my white skinnies and add inches and inches to my leg line but............I've been too psychologically uncomfortable to wear them.

I know the answer is to keep at it and eventually I'll feel like myself in my new and improved style, right?

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20 replies

Latest reply was from teeandcee

Isabel

Veteran

Oh Gosh yes !!!! Though the changes were micro changes at first, that probably no one noticed, I felt SO self-conscious. And when I picked up a bit of steam, if someone did notice or compliment me, I actually felt a bit embarrassed and I felt vain. One thing that greatly helped was this site. I also actively started noticing women around me that also were making an effort. For example, I LOVE the fact that the woman who runs a local farm and gives horse riding lessons always has a fabulous red manicure. She could be covered in dirt head to toe and smell like horse manure, but her nails are always fab. That little thing inspires me.

Hang in there.

HelenInCanada

Veteran

Hello, I can relate! After some introspection, I realized that personal style seems to evolve successfully based on knowing you look great - a flattering cut & colour - AND feeling confident & "yourself" in the clothing...so these two aspects may not work in tandem at all times. The process is definitely an experiment. I've been told I look terrific in black, especially black-black blazers, form-fitting suits, and although I think the look is slimming and professional, I often feel constrained and self-conscious in them. There was a time when black ruled my roost, but I've outgrown head-to-toe black, and actually feel quite bored with it. Anyway, after much rambling, I think that "new and improved" is only true if you feel it. What people are wearing around you - perhaps you are in an ultracasual or conservative environment? - can make you feel self-conscious. Certainly I initially silly if I'm 'dressed up' and everyone around me is in sweats (!) but I think if you dress to impress yourself first and foremost (and you feel you are dressed appropriately for the occasion), you'll make the right choices! Just my two cents!

Lynne

Veteran

Absolutely, and no-one wants to feel inappropriate.....but yes, the answer is to hang in there are keep practising :).

rae

(website)

Veteran

This is a little period I like to call "Ages 14-27." It took a long time to really narrow down what MY style was, so I felt costumey even if my outfits technically worked. Thankfully, the learning process has sped up dramatically with YLF - all the style personality threads are wonderful. It won't take 10+ years now that you have Angie and the forum at your back!

Aziraphale

Veteran

Oh my, I can totally relate. Every time I try to push my own style envelope, I feel weird for a while....until it becomes the 'new normal'.

I was super self-conscious in my first pair of skinny jeans several years back. Now most of my jeans are skinnies.

Got my first pair of Fluevogs about four years ago, and not only did they have a much higher heel than I was accustomed to wearing, but they cost twice as much as I had EVER spent on a pair of shoes. It took quite a while for me not to be hyper aware of my feet all day long!

Now I'm into hats. I've actually accumulated a lot of hats over the years, because I love them in theory, but I often felt a little weird wearing them. Now I've got a short haircut again, so the ponytail option is not there if I'm having a bad hair day, and I've decided that I'm going to wear my hats instead. It's the sort of thing that EVERYONE notices, so I've got to hold my head high and tell myself I feel fabulous in my cute hat -- and one day, I'm sure a hat will no longer be a big deal.

Queen Mum

Veteran

definitely... but soon it will begin to feel right and you'll feel odd when you try to dress down. keep at it!

DeniseP

I agree with everyone's comments, and I'm practicing: "don't worry about what others think", b/c my opinion is what counts when it comes to how I dress.. Because you can't please everyone, but you can please yourself. That's why YLF helps so much, to give us confidence that we haven't lost our mind when it comes to fashion.

qfbrenda

Veteran

Oh yeah. I was SO nervous the first time I work a skirt and knee high boots in public.... you'd think I had flashing lights on my feet. It didn't help that friends commented as if I must be someone else, because *I* would never wear something like that. But I managed and the feeling passed. I still have a bit of that feeling whenever I try wearing something different for me. But it's getting easier over time. You just have to put those clothing items on and brave the world! The good feelings will follow later.

Barbara

Veteran

Great question!

I've always been particular about style and very true to my fashion self ever since I was a teen who adored Twiggy and faithfully read Vogue.

I discovered my Euro-Prep-Sporty-Artist style about twenty years ago while living in Europe. I have since perfected this vibe , making sure my everyday look is polished but fun.

Sometimes I get stares (and compliments) at the grocery store or running errands. I usually wear my favorite skinny jeans with a tee, fitted seasonally-appropriate jacket and hand-crafted jewelry which I have been designing and creating for over 10 years. Overdressed? Nope. It's totally me - confident, colorful, FUN.

Lately I've added more dresses and skirts to my wardrobe, which is decidedly casual, but always polished.

Wear what you love and feel great while wearing it. Being completely at ease with your fashion self will follow.

teeandcee

Thanks everyone! I feel much better about the situation. Next time I go out and about my new wedges will be on my feet. In anticipation of that daring act I'm off to paint my toenails!

Patty

Veteran

I dress a bit different and far from fab but yes yes yes to your question as well! Embarrassed, vain and shame--I don't understand the shame part.
A friend told me a couple weeks ago--I noticed you are dressing more fashiony, don't think I didn't notice------the last thing I want is for anyone to notice let alone comment (unless on my stupid terms LOL).

catgirl

Veteran

This is a hard question! I don't feel fab all that often, and when I do, it's specifically because I don't feel awkward and instead feel like myself. Like today. So I actually feel less awkward as I am able to identify what makes me feel fab.

I feel like I am in costume when I'm outside my comfort zone in very girly clothing or in anything tight, fitted, or revealing (which is rare!)...

Queen Mum

Veteran

I might also add that it seems that many who "run in my circle" seem to be stepping up their style quotient as well. Coincidence? Perhaps, but while I won't claim to be anyone's aspiration, I do think there is something to be said for when we dress up a bit, it gives others "permission" to do so as well. I honestly think many women *want* to dress nicer, but they are feeling as self-conscience as you are. Lead the way and see how others follow your lead.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Oh YES! For sure I felt self conscious! Still do sometimes, but becoming less so now that I (and everyone else around me) am getting used to my new style! When I first started dressing nicer, EVERYONE around me noticed and were always commenting on my clothes. While it was nice to get compliments, I have to admit I also felt like hiding sometimes! You probably wouldn't know it from my WIW posts but I am very shy, not very self-confident or outgoing. I was never popular and always described as "quiet but nice". I always tended to underdress and blend in. My mom was always more of a "fashion plate" and is always overdressed and wearing makeup and doing her hair. I thought she was silly but now I'm dressing up a lot more myself...wonder what she would think (she hasn't seen me in the last couple of months since I joined YLF)!

It took me a little while to get comfortable with my new style, but now I've really taken off and am totally into Team Dive! Angie had a great blog post on moving out of your style comfort zone:
http://youlookfab.com/2011/03/.....fort-zone/

So, yes, I agree, if you don't feel self confident, fake it till you make it! The compliments you get will keep you moving forward! Good luck with your own style journey and we're here to cheer you along! Can't wait to see pics of you with your new wedges!

Sowmya

Oh wow, I'm just starting to dress up a bit, rather than run out of the house in trousers and a shirt! I work in a place where people don't really dress up, so I stand out even more when I add something as simple as a scarf to my outfit - an admin assistant eyed me and wanted to know why I was dressed like a male Indian movie star (yes male!).
I also want to add make up slowly to my look - not at all looking forward to the comments!! Good luck with your wedges!

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

Part of it for me was the wardrobe overhaul. I've gotten rid of about 75% of my pre-YLF clothes. I feel like I am always sporting new stuff to work. It makes me look like I am a shopaholic, which is actually how I feel at the start of a new season when I discover new wardrobe holes. I think things are finally starting to settle down, although my coworkers haven't seen all of my new stuff yet!

Joy

Veteran

Yes, but you adjust and nver look back. My first challenge was the moto jacket, so different for me. It hung in my closet for a month or more before I got brave enough to wear it. Now my wardrobe wouldn't function without one or more.

rosee

Veteran

Imogen Lamport's blog answers your question well with this post:

http://www.insideoutstyleblog......small.html

quote:
"Yes it may feel a little strange at first, you will get comments, but it won’t take long for people to get used to the new you, and often then they realise that they too want to feel smarter themselves and follow your lead. Go on, shine!"

Tessera

I've been accused my whole life of "over-dressing" because I like to assemble outfits with some thought rather than schlepping around in baggy tee shirts and saggy jeans. However, I decided a long time ago that I like clothes, expressing myself with style is one of my pleasures and no one is going to take it away from me, dang it! The people in my life have gotten used to it (and often appreciate it) and strangers don't really care, as far as I can tell. So give yourself a little pleasure. Enjoy peeking down at your newly polished toes in your fabulous shoes - it'll give you a lift all day.

teeandcee

Last night I was watching Dateline and they were interviewing the parents of a victim. The wife was dressed beautifully and age-appropriately. I kept admiring her style and clothing and confidence in looking like that. On national TV no less. She was the exact type of lady I see and admire and who inspires me.

Anyway, I'm off to read the links posted!