Lol, tell her you'll get a matching one. That might put her off.

Seriously, though, I understand what you mean -- the idea of our "perfect" children wilfully marking their bodies is uncomfortable. But you're right, it's pretty culturally normal to get a tattoo. In fact it's probably a rite of passage. Also, I'm sure you did some things to your own body that your parents weren't totally happy about. (Or maybe you didn't, but I know I sure did).

As far as the actual tattoo she plans to get, and where she wants to get it -- well, it's going to be pretty inconspicuous. There are worse things. Think of it like a scar. Scars aren't always pretty, but they do give you character. It doesn't even matter what you get. For those of you who feel that a tattoo should reflect some deep and meaningful truth, forgive me. I don't agree. The act of marking your body is what matters. This is important, because she will almost certainly not care about the tattoo she gets now when she's forty. I mean, she may not hate it, but she won't think it's particularly clever anymore. What's meaningful now, at this young age, may not be later. (I think this is different if you get a tattoo when you're thirty; your tastes then might have more staying power).

Anyway, have that cup of tea -- I'm there with you in spirit! -- and then chalk it up to one of those little things we, as mothers, have to let go.

I agree that it's hard to see your young adult children make decisions you don't love, but at this point, tattoos are so commonplace among that generation that it's very hard to dissuade someone from getting one...or two...

My younger stepson (24) has two, both his designs (he's an artist with very talented MICA-trained tattoo artist friends). The older (about to turn 27) doesn't care to get any. My husband has one that he's had for about 15 years -- a very individual design by a close artist friend.

Both of my nieces (25 and 32) have them. Unfortunately the younger one got some cheap ones that she now hates, but the older has a huge but very cool tat that covers a lot of her back -- it's a big stack of books (she's a phD and psychologist).

Your daughter's ink sounds very discreet and tasteful. As long as she is happy and gets it from a reputable studio and has a good experience, try to be as happy for her as you can.

I have one DD who has several tattoos. She did it when she grew up and got married, so there was nothing I could say about it. My second DD never considered getting one. The third DD probably would have, except that she has had keloid scars removed from her earlobes and has been told not to get any piercings or tattoos, so she can't. The youngest DD doesn't have any tattoos and hasn't said anything about wanting one, so I'm hopeful she won't. She's 17 right now, so that may change, but I hope not. I think (hope) I've successfully made my case about multiple piercings and tattoos not looking professional in most lines of work, and that if they do it, they need to be able to cover up. I also brought home a brochure from our doctor's office about people getting diseases (heart disease, for example) from body piercings. The photos in that brochure of piercings gone wrong was enough to scare anyone, I think. The anti-smoking ads they have on TV right now are having the same effect, thank goodness.

You both look really beautiful! My sympathy.

MsMary and Laura have some good points. It's time to let go and count your blessings.

Late to the party...so I am assuming DD had the tat...
Now for a little Mom fun..you know those removable fako tats that wash off or peal off or whatever...Go and get an obnoxious one and put it somewhere entirely off the map...I have a few suggestions but I don't want to offend so I will let you decide where...Come in with the new tat and tell her that her idea was such fun that you decided to get ink too...
Show her the awful one and watch her reaction...smile...