Arriving really late to this thread, but couldn't help but add my 2¢ anyway.
I'm in the same boat with wavy/curly hair, and have gone through all the agony and angst with it, too.
A couple of things that I've figured out about the wavy look:
1. Very few of the gorgeous wavy looks you see on celebrities and bloggers turn out that way naturally. Even on the ones with natural curls, more often than not they style it straight and then add the curls back in just the way they want them! The times I've really liked my hair curly have been the days I've done just that. Hardly low maintenance!
2. I don't know about you, but I associate soft waves and curls more with romantic femininity or an artsy bohemian look. That just doesn't jibe with the powerful and authoritative image I want to give off in a work situation.
(I'm sure that is not true for everyone. I'm just speaking for myself)

Now, I really do like your hair both curly and straight. But I do see the straighter look as more in keeping with your no-nonsense, underestimate-me-at-your-peril image for work, as others have said.
For leisure time, why not go curly sometimes for the heck of it! I really like #1 and #2. #3 looks too "soft" to me for your personality, especially combined with your blonde hair and prettiness. Of course #1 and #2 will probably require more work to keep that way. It figures! I think you're on the right track with just straightening the front a little.

What an interesting conversation! Sounds like you've come to the conclusion I was thinking: straight for work and wavy for weekend. As one of the (apparently few) gals who enjoys wearing her natural curly hair, and puts a lot of effort into doing so, it surprises me to hear that curls feel aging to so many (although perhaps that's part of why so many people thought my straight-haired younger sis was older than me when we were growing up, and maybe contributes to people thinking I'm much younger than I am... but I digress). I actually do prefer the straighter look on you Mary. In your case, I don't see the curls as aging so much as that the straighter (voluminous!) hair suits you very well, and I'm saying that from a place of looking at your style, your style preferences, knowing your job, and having met you in person. While I do prefer the straighter look for you, I also think a lighter wavy look (like Marley's and similar to your #1/2) is lovely on you.

Your cut doesn't look optimized for curls at all, but since it works straight it will work well enough for waves. That probably contributes to #1/2 looking great, and #3 not working quite right. My solution for days like #3 is to throw in some dry shampoo, leave in a few minutes, and then give my head a good all around shaking to get out the residue. Boom, instant volume, and the curls spread out. Also, while I style my curls to look very natural, I blow dry my hair to get it to look that way (with a huge diffuser). When I air dry, everything sticks toooo close to my head and I want my (thin, fine) curls to be big BIG BIG! Honestly, if I left my hair to air dry, which I know is healthier, I would be significantly unhappy with my hair. I've mentioned it before, but this is the mousse I use and I loooove it.

Oh @texstyle - I love my waves and curls. The problem is is that I can't count on them. My hair will only look like that maybe 2 days a month. The rest of the time (if I wear it "naturally") it just gets completely frizzy in some spots, straight in some spots and curly/wavy in very few spots! I'm not willing to chance it when (or not) I'm going to have a good hair day!
Also - in general - I like curly and wavy hair - and have always envied those who could wear their hair like that - I'm just not one of them!

Isn't it wonderful to have options that both look great? I say do what makes you feel beautiful It sounds like straight-ironing is your thing. So do it

And when you have one of those days where you feel like you can't be bothered to straighten, go curly. You look lovely either way. Win-win!

Another late reply!
My hair looks pretty similar to yours, but mine is a bit longer, and I am familiar with these thoughts!
I tend to go curlier on the weekend, and straight during the week. Why? BEcause though I spend some time with the dryer or the iron, my hair then stays looking pretty good (for me!) for the rest of the day. No fussing with it at work. But if I leave it to dry naturally, it can be super hit and miss, as you have noted with yours! Sometimes good, sometimes a little scary on me. So I find I think way less about hair after it is straightened out.
I must say that climate too plays a part. I live in a pretty dry area but if it is rainy, I don't bother straightening, and the water in the air makes the curls look better than any product!
I think you look great either way, so I would go with what you find most comfortable.

OK..I'm going to reply without reading any other replies, mainly because I came to this party when it's already 3 pages long.
1st: You are very pretty and look great in all of the pics. I agree that #3 is more aging. Ditch that look. I think 1 and 2 and 4 can be used as any other accessory..to bring about a certain feel to an outfit. I think 1 almost brings a flirty vibe. 4 is uber professional. I don't think you have to chose one or the other..you have choices...straight one day, wavy the next.
As far as the conflicted feelings...what we do, in the end we do for ourselves and that is not a bad or selfish thing. If you feel best polished, then by all means polish up. Being comfortable in your skin is most important. The confidence or discomfort you experience is picked up by those around you in a subtle way.

Thank you for this thread and all the great perspectives shared here.

Mary--chiming in late, but I think you look great in all of those pictures. Your hair is very cute, curly or straight. And I could understand if you feel more professional in #4.

I'm in the same boat as all of you who get very annoyed by your wavy hair. When my hair is straight, I feel about 10x prettier. But generally don't have the time/energy to get it straight except for when I get it cut/colored. Not sure where that leaves me....

Mary, I think future Mr. MaryK should appreciate all your looks here, curls or straight. You are a beautiful woman and he will be surely aware of this. I love your hair in all the picties except perhaps in nr 3, but I'm sure you won't let it go there too, often-but all of us have our dreaded wethair look(at least I do have it:-(() so it's all good. I am used to your straight look, and find it very proffesional, but OMG nr 1 and 2 is completely another MaryK. Romantic, and sweet and much more vulnerable so, may be, some men would like it better(?:-)).

Then, can I hijack your thread and ask somebody to clarify what do you mean by "having lots of moving" in someone's hair, pls?(cuz am not a native English speaker)

Oh, and in general, what are the requirements of a great, updated cut for a grown up girl nowadays...but maybe I'l have to make a nother thread for this?

Aida, you just explained exactly what I didn't like about my experiment the past month. If I do the things to get maximum curl, which includes not finger-combing at all, I end up with thin curls against my head. Definitely way curlier than before, but so thin and flat and stringy. I like VOLUME!! Last week, I went back to finger-combing my gel into my hair and am much happier with the results. (I think I'd decided to do that the same day I saw this thread.)

And, this part might be helpful to Mary, too, on curly days -- the main things I do now are:
1) Wash only the scalp (I only use conditioner, no shampoo, using pads of fingers, not fingernails -- same even if you use shampoo)
2) Condition only the ends, NOT the scalp (my hair is so short that I just leave a gap right at my scalp, finger-comb the conditioner with my head upside-down)
3) Pat/scrunch/blot my wet hair, again upside down, with a tee shirt or cotton towel, no turban or microfiber towel anymore
4) With hair wet, immediately after blotting, finger-comb gel (or other product) away from the scalp, again just that tiny gap, head upside-down, scrunching afterward
4) Clips galore!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFLCD12RKbw
5) I air dry for a while, then might dry with a diffuser with the clips still in, focusing on the scalp/clipped areas.

Last week, I thought I desperately needed a hair cut or something. I did this "or something" and can go back to just growing my hair out. : )

Arriving late to say that I relate to so much! I went to a lot of effort to perfect a natural-wave style and finally gave up. I don't see it on you but I did find natural waves incredibly aging, something about the shadows on my face. Also, on those rare days when I could get a look I liked it didn't stay and I'd be a the mirror constantly tweaking and scrunching--truly it was less time to be artificial!

I have been having fun learning to add volume and movement to my straighter dos. Also I've been experimenting with using a curling iron on top of blow dried hair, but of course that's extra time!

It's hard for me, too, not to feel best in a "natural" look.

But--it's worth a lot to be comfortable in my hair style.

Update: I tried to leave the house with a "semi-curl" look this morning and I just couldn't do it. Ended up hitting it with the blow dryer before I dashed out the door. LOL

What happens to the curls when your hair is longer? Just out of curiousity.

Chiming back in with another perspective. I was talking to my sister about this, we are both very very curly girls, and although I wear mine curly all the time, she is in a high powered corporate position in a field similar to yours, and like you is petite with delicate, cute (but gorgeous) features and she has struggled her whole career life to be taken seriously and not patted on the head. She straightens her hair in the same way she wears killer heels, tailored clothes and dresses impeccably. It helps her to be taken seriously, makes her feel more "powerful" and helps her overcome the cutesy factor that curls contribute to her look. She never wears her hair curly to work. And she never dresses casually to work. All part of her work personae. Interesting. Had to pass that along, there are a lot of similarities between you two, I can see why it would be hard for you to feel comfortable with your curls at work now....

IK, it looks marginally better curly when it's longer. But when it's longer it's a million times more of a pain to straighten, and I don't think it looks as good straight when it's longer. So going longer isn't really an option at this point. (Not to mention I'm still a little scarred by Mr. K's insistence on it being longer...)

I think you look great either way. I think this can be so confusing. We are a 50 something couple and were at the Bluebird Cafe in Nashville this past weekend. There was a group of women in front of us, also probably 50ish. Beautiful women, all of them, casual but well dressed, but they just looked so "fixed". I kept wanting to mess up their hair a little bit! I know I struggle with this...you can get away with a lot when you are young and still look great, but finding that happy spot as you age can be tough!