Closet reality check heightens urge to purge - YouLookFab Forum

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Closet reality check heightens urge to purge

Nicole D

Veteran

So, I had a friend over yesterday and I brought her into my closet because I thought I had a few pieces that I could pass on to her - she was shocked at the amount of clothing and shoes that I had (less shocked by handbags). She indicated that her closet was about 1/6 the size of mine. I embarassedly had to admit that this wasn't all of it :
-one of my daughter's closets is full of winter stuff
- I have two bulging garment bags ready to take to consignment,
-plus a large rubbermaid container full of things that don't fit from last summer (pesky 15 lb weight gain!).
-also many of my shoes are jackets are in the mud room

When I saw the look on her face (and after I convinced her to take 5 or 6 things for herself), I recognized that I think I have a problem.
-I need to simplify.
-I need to keep what I wear and get rid of what i don't.
-I need to stop bringing in new things.
-I need to not panic buy when my body size changes (eg. 5 pairs of boyfriend khakis from ON because my weight has gone up and I might not have any pants that fit. Sure, they are not expensive, but why 5 pairs?? I have worn the red ones twice and yellow ones never. I did the same thing with t shirts and just gave 3 of them away).

Thanks for reading and please feel free to slap me if I seem to be overbuying.

QUESTION: Should I purge everything that doesn't fit or keep the stuff that is too tight to wear comfortably but will fit well 5 lbs from now. I have been at this weight for about 6 months and do not seem to be gaining anymore. I don't see putting weight loss on "Project status" for a year or so, so would be happy to maintain or lose about 5.
ALSO: Keep your eyes on style exchange - I have some beautiful stuff, ladies!

General

20 replies

Latest reply was from Nicole D

Suz

(website)

Veteran

You absolutely have some beautiful stuff! There are going to be some very lucky Fabbers here! Tall ones. (Karie? Sveta? Inge?)

How about doing what Denise (CocoLion) is doing and trying a one month capsule wardrobe to figure out what you actually wear and reach for? Don't get rid of anything yet unless it truly does not fit (and won't fit, 5 lbs either way); just put it in a holding zone. Does that make sense? And then, as the season goes on, you can make better decisions about what to let go of.

bj1111

Veteran

Nicole, i wish i were your size, because you have great stuff.

I just completed a huge closet cull on the sweaters/tops. I still have the rest of the closet to go. I haven't bought clothes for a year except for two coats on consignment last fall and two pairs of shoes. I was too fat and didn't feel like shopping.

Now i have gone manic in my purchases. I've been cycling k/rs at jcrew, br and nordies, with some zara thrown in.

I feel your pain. So much waste. At least my niece hauled away 3/4 of it.

Nicole D

Veteran

Some great advice!
Suz, I have been mulling over the capsule idea for some time. Will go back to Cocolion's posts to get some ideas.

bj1111 - I admire you. I think I have been manically purchasing too, only problem is it was NOT preceded by a year long period of abstinence! It is much nicer to pass things on to those we know ("going to a good home" so to speak). Your niece must have been thrilled!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Nicole, I feel I have to drive over to help you with the closet purge. We can make a party out of it! <I am serious about it so let me know if this is something you would like to do - after all it is just 1h of a pleasant country drive for me!>
I would first go over stuff which fits RIGHT NOW. Which of it you absolutely love and wear frequently - these are candidates to stay. The next category is what you don't reach for often but may be useful. The rest goes into orphans pile.
Then assess how much you really need and how often you want to repeat wearing things. Based on this create a XX-day capsule like Suz suggested and road test it. This experiment may help you to understand your real needs.
I am keeping a spreadsheet of my closet and trying to record what I wear and how many times. It really helps to identify potential orphans and deal with them one way or another. "One in - one out" is also a great principle helping to think before you buy and keep the closet in check.
Good luck!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I vote Sveta-Nicole-Closet-Edit-Party, asap. I echo what Suz and Sveta suggest.

Don't worry. We are here to help you. xo

Gaylene

Veteran

OK, this I understand! I've been purging and editing my closet for the last few weeks as part of our move from a house with lots of storage to a smallish condo. I received tons of good advice on this thread when I started to panic:
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....y-wardrobe

My biggest revelation was that purging and editing are not the same thing. Purging is more straightforward because it means getting everything out of your closet that doesn't fit, hasn't been worn, or was a bad purchase (grimace--and then toss). Editing is trickier because these are clothes you have worn in the past and have potential to be worn in the future (your too-tight for now things?), were formerly workhorses or closet staples (loved wearing X last year but not so much this year?), or are present in your closet in multiples (inexpensive boyfriend khakis?). I've learned that both purging and editing are equally important to keep closet numbers under control.

When it came to editing, it really helped to sit down with a paper and pencil (like Mo) and figure out what is a reasonable number of items to have in a category: for example, How many pairs of dressy, 2-hour shoes do I need?; How many pairs of boyfriend khakis?; How many summer tops? How many outer coats and jackets? The sheer volume of items in a category often stunned me and was a big wake-up call, especially when I saw everything spread out on the bed or on the floor.

Editing really helped me understand my style and preferences. Instead of a 50% reduction, I think I ended up with something closer to a 70% reduction. Right now, I have a closet that contains more than enough variety for my needs and inclinations, but, even more importantly, I feel I've finally come closer to understanding what works for me and what makes me happy.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Cheering for you, Gaylene!! Would love it if you started a thread to follow up on your earlier one, about your discoveries (like this post).

I think the first stage is the "purge" of anything you don't like, truly doesn't/ won't fit, was a purchasing mistake, etc. You'll be surprised at how much goes just with that and it is, as Gaylene said, the easy and quite satisfying part.

The edit might be harder but will be even more satisfying and will help you identify true wardrobe holes as well. So that future purchases are more useful to you.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I hear you on the body changes. It is hard not to do what I call "prophylactic buying" for what MIGHT happen, if that's your personality - I do it all the time, unfortunately. So I too have lovely things and they just never get trotted out. I'm working on it, though. I bet my bank account will thank me!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Gaylene, this is brilliant!
It looks like purging and editing uncover really different characteristics of our buying habits. Some purging is natural and evolutional (size changes / items get worn out / style preference changes) and they are unavoidable. Others should be under our control: too many worn out items because I buy a lot of cheap low quality stuff? Do I pay enough attention to fit when I buy?
Editing is more of an indicator of bad shopping habits as it indicates an imbalance between what you need and what you do. Is it because you are an impulse shopper? Shopping out of boredom? To relieve stress? To feel some void in your life? If you edit and think why you need to edit you can not only unclutter your closet but also change your behavior which is a cause for editing in the first place!

frannieb

Veteran

I don't have much to add - just that I am learning so much from this post.
I am going through this process myself and I will agree purging is easy - editing is much harder, because for me editing is about poor shopping choices made.
Sveta gives great advice.

Anonymous

First, I am sorry that you are suddenly faced with this dilemma. It can come as quite a shock when the realization starts to dawn on you.

I would like to second Suz's and Gaylene's suggestions. I think what CocoLion is doing is exciting and would benefit a lot of us. And, of course, I follow all of Mo's posts because her posts involve numbers which I love playing with.

Finally, having a friend like Sveta is priceless. If you are not too shy, I would certainly consider taking her up on her offer. Purging can be stressful and it helps to have someone to hold your hand.

Kristin SF

Veteran

I could have written this exact post. I am going to bookmark this thread and read it carefully. You are NOT ALONE!

(Also, my weight seems to fluctuate 10 lbs up or down, so I feel like I need to keep 3 sizes in my closet, oy.)

Gaylene

Veteran

Sveta, you've nailed it regarding editing. It's harsh, but true, that much of the stuff I edited from my closet was the result of impulsive, YLF-lemming, designer-wear-on-sale, oh-I'd-like-to-try-this, maybe-I-should-stock-up-now-that-I've-found-a-great-one, too-much-hassle/cost-to-return items. I also tended to repeat favorites, especially if the repeat was in a different color or slightly altered style because I knew that I'd wear it happily. Sounds good in theory but, in reality, six pairs of black pants, even in different styles and fabrics, is still a whole pile of black pants!

I also think that the concept of wardrobe "holes" played a part; I'd start thinking that I ought to have X since the rest of the world seemed to consider it a wardrobe essential. Other women rock their tube skirts and dresses, but those items just aren't players for me.

Editing made me realize I do have a strong, personal, signature style for the 65-year-old woman that I am today. I'll always wear my cigarette pants, straight-legged jeans, moto/bomber jackets, cashmere sweaters, and boots until they pry them from my cold fingers. I like to walk in all kinds of weather, hate to fuss with my clothes once they are on my body, and don't need to feel trendy to be happy. I prefer fluid shapes with defined lines, clear or neutral colors, and strong silhouettes. Editing, not just purging, my closet has made me realize all of these things.

Nicole D

Veteran

Thanks all! I feel better having heard that others have faced similar challenges. Sveta - absolutely we should have a purge party! Let me do a first cull and then we can get down to editing. There are a few pieces that I have been thinking would be great on you! I'm going to start today (in addition to helping clean up after a flood in our basement).
I will keep you posted.

E

Veteran

Just wanted to say I found this thread so helpful, so thanks to everyone who responded! Right now I have a large wardrobe, but I'm hoping to move in the next few months, and if I move to a place with less closet space, I'll have to undergo a similar process. I'm shuddering just thinking about it, so it's good to know it will be worth it in the end.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

IK, thanks for the term prophylactic buying - that's a perfect description of it. I do it all the time, especially when I find things on super sale. I might want this color, I might need this size, etc... It's a hard habit to get out of.

Nicole, I just want to caution you not to overreact too much to your friend's reaction to your closet - I've found that I have a lot more stuff - particularly clothes and books - than some of my friends who are very minimal people and not into clothes at all. They wear the same four things over and over, which is fine for them and their priorities but would make me very unhappy.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I'm nodding my head to all these thoughts here. And hi five to the shout outs for my numbers posts. Editing, and for me not buying too much of the wrong thing in the first place, is what the gist of all my number crunching gets down to. I don't desire to be minimal. All along, the goal is to have a closet of stuff I love and wear, and none that I don't (or at least like, can't love everything). Nicole, you should definitely take Sveta up on her offer - and then share here with us the results!

Anonymous

I was just going to mention the same thing Laura did. Just because your friend found your wardrobe size overwhelming doesn't mean that it's too large for you. If on the other hand, it was a confirmation to how you were already feeling, that'd different. I'm sure you and Sveta will get it all sorted. I only wish I could be there too.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Agreeing with Gaylene & the others - editing comes after working out what YOU need for your life & personality. Before you do anything though you need to make sure YOU want this. Don't just edit because of your friends response

Nicole D

Veteran

So...didn't get to my closet YET but I did watch a couple of episodes of "Consumed" which was almost as inspirational as the forum.
Gaylene, I think that a lot of my purge-ables are in the same categories as you mentioned. You all are so helpful!
Mo and Claire - you raise a good point about the source of the comments that my closet is overstuffed. My friend has a minimal approach to her home and closet - her place is very clutter free and organized, so she is probably likely to be more shocked than most, however as Suz says, I think she was just confirming something that I know deep down.
Gonna put all my questionables aside and get Sveta over here soon!