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Cell conversations while shopping?

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

This is more of an etiquette question than a shopping question, I guess, but today I stopped by a department store and there was a woman there who was on her mobile phone having a conversation the entire time she was shopping. She even kept talking while we were both in the fitting rooms trying on things. Obviously I couldn't help but overhear her side of things, and it was not anything urgent or emergency related; she was just having a chat with a friend. I was trying to stay away from where she was, but given the browsing we were both doing, we kept crossing paths and she had been talking for at least 10-15 minutes when I finally made my escape from the store.

I have been increasingly noticing people doing this - not just quick mobile phone check ins in public places, which are understandably here to stay, but long non urgent discussions. Am I weird for finding this annoying? People tend to talk louder on the phone than they do to a person next to them, and it seems harder to tune out a one-sided conversation. Leaving aside issues of privacy (I have overheard some really personal things in the coffeehouse and in the grocery store!) it just seems like an odd way to divide your attention, and super distracting for those who are around you.

Does this happen in your area? Do you do it yourself? Should I just sigh and get used to it?

General

33 replies

Latest reply was from Mander

milehighstyle (Linda)

Veteran

It happens on public transportation quite often,which I find annoying because I read on my commute. But also in stores, on elevators, pretty much everywhere. I make quick calls once in a while, like to tell my husband that the train is late, but never anything overly long or personal. It is shocking some of the things people will discuss in public, loudly.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

The rudest is when people pay the cashier while taking on the phone, as if they were dealing with a machine and not a person.

Staysfit

Veteran

I have definitely seen this. I agree that it is annoying and it still surprises me that people cannot wait to be in a quiet, private location to talk with the person with whom they are talking. My cell phone has a voice mail, and an ignore button so if someone calls when I am out and about I can press it and the phone stops ringing in a way that I can hear it, but a message can be left if the caller makes that choice.

I would say that more people get text messages in public than talk on their cell phones. I see a majority of people engaged in checking their phone for texts, and they are busy typing away on their keypads.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I just accept it as part of modern life. At least she is not driving.

carter

Veteran

Yes. Drives me nuts. Talking on the cell in restaurants is the worst, but I find all of it very rude. Step outside if you need to have a conversation. Do not subject me to the irrelevant details of your life.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I think it is as inconsiderate as any loud behavior that subjects me to your noise. In other words, very inconsiderate indeed.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

What's really bad is when the person you're with is having a long conversation with someone else on the phone, or is continually texting!

Gaylene

Veteran

Just let off steam by writing a long diatribe, but caught myself before I hit the submit button. Seriously, though, would I be totally out of order to ask a person to lower their voice because their personal life is none of my business? Or to stop texting while we are visiting? Does not calling a person on their rude behaviour make that behaviour seem acceptable--or, even worse, normal?

MsMary

Veteran

I'm with CocoLion -- I don't know that there's any alternative to just ignoring it. Calling out a stranger on rude behavior is, I think, just adding to the total rudeness in the world. I do think it's okay to ask a friend to stop texting while visiting as long as it's done lightly and with a smile. But trying to police everybody else's etiquette is probably a losing proposition.

Vix

Veteran

I work full-time, as do most of my friends/family -- and we often have time zone issues to boot.

Phone tag can only go on for so long before one or both parties call or pick up while running errands. No, it's not ideal. I'd rather be in private but I'd also like to TALK to people I care about vs emailing/texting.

As long as I'm solo (and not actively engaged with a customer service person) I call it good and move on. And since I'm nosy I don't mind other's convos!

unfrumped

Veteran

How about people who start talking on cell phone while in their stalk in the ladies' room? Make me jump out of my skin. Plus , ick.

Joy

Veteran

I hear this all to often and sometimes think the person is talking to me if it's just us. Most of the time the talker speaks in a loud voice as if they are trying to be heard over piped in music or something. It is very hard to ignore. I find it rude. They could leave for someplace more private if they must have a long conversation right then.

Marit K

I hate this behavior. If I get a call I need to take while in a public place I duck outside or into my car to talk. There will be parents talking on the phone at the playground and it is very distracting to the rest of us and sometimes the conversation is not for little ones ears. So frustrating. Lead by example I suppose!

Desmo April

(website)

Veteran

I don't actually see anything wrong with being on the phone while I'm shopping.

For the most part shopping is a solitary activity. No phone while engaged with anyone else though. When I have free time at home, it is far too late to call the east coast.

Deb

Veteran

I generally don't worry about people being on a phone, it is all around us and unavoidable, but I found myself really annoyed at a recent sporting event when the women sitting directly behind me spent 1.5 hours of the 3 hour game on the phone. Her conversation was trivial banter and spoiled the experience for those sitting by her. In the same position, I would have demonstrated some etiquette and consideration of others, by calling the person back later and paying homage to the game.

retailgirl

Veteran

This annoys me, too, but I don't see as much if it as I used to. I think people text more now. But I agree with unfrumped, the one that really gets me is people having conversations while in a ladies room stall!

Anonymous

Yes. And the thing is they act like they are due privacy because they are on the phone, yet they seem to almost be shouting into the phone so it is impossible to not overhear.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I'm only mildly annoyed by this when strangers are doing it when out in a store because it's relatively easy to move elsewhere. I hate it in restaurants though, where I'm forced to be a captive audience to some random person at the next table. I also really don't like it when someone I'm with does this. I had to explain this to my husband in the past, and he tries to only do this when absolutely necessary (i.e., a business phone call while we're in the car together -- annoying but unavoidable). I'm not much of a phone conversation person anymore, so I rarely carry on a lengthy cell phone conversation anywhere, much less out in public. I'll often call people back when I'm in my car or studio alone. I really dislike carrying on conversations in front of other people, even if it's just my husband.

I read or heard somewhere that it's harder to block out one-sided dialog than a full conversation, because our brains are trying to fill in the missing side of the conversation. It makes sense to me. I *can* block it out but I have to really concentrate on something else.

columbine(erin)

Veteran

I turn off or put away my smartphone when I'm with someone, at a friend's house, church, playground, mealtimes, or restaurant, etc., because I do find it off putting when others are texting and we're supposed to be having time together. But because of time constraints and time zones I've had long conversations in the grocery store. I ended it before going to the register though; it would seem rude to me not to.

Carole

Veteran

If I get a call from my grown kids (it doesn't happen that often) or mother I take the call no matter where I'm at...with Most everyone else I will wait until I have more privacy. I can see why it would bother some but it is the world we live in and the positives outweigh the negatives.

Diana

Veteran

I shop alone for the most part so once in a while I will use my phone, either for calls or texting. If the store is very quiet or small I will go outside if I'm talking, but in something like a department store or supermarket? Whatever. I tend not to have long conversations because I dislike talking on the phone, and I speak quietly. I would never talk on the phone while interacting with other people (e.g. at the cash register) but when I'm just minding my own business, browsing the racks or whatever? I don't think it's any different than two friends having a conversation in a store. Same amount of noise and it's not harming anyone. I will admit that sometimes I'll talk on the phone (or pretend to) if I don't want to be bothered by the pushy SAs in certain stores (same for the "clipboard people" (you know, the people soliciting signatures for various causes) on the sidewalk near my work at lunchtime).

I dislike it when other people have LOUD phone conversations but I also dislike it when people talk loudly to their friends in public places. It has nothing to do with the phone.

Maybe I'm a little inured to it because I ride the bus every day so I hear other people's conversations/phone calls all the time. I usually carry headphones anyway so I can block out really annoying ones if I have to.

elpgal

Veteran

The only issue I see is that of voice levels being higher while on phone compared to a in-person conversation. Is that always true, though?

Laurinda

Veteran

It bugs me, but I figure I'm getting old and out-of-touch so I just add it to my "Kids Today!" rant list.

Eliza

Veteran

I know a lot of people do it. Not my favorite thing, yet in a dressing room, it could easily be two people shopping together talking and that wouldn't bother me.

Now, what I really can't stand with cell phone etiquette is people checking out of retail stores or ordering in a cafe and behaving as if the cashier is interrupting them. I think it is completely rude to be on the phone when transacting business, unless it is truly an emergency. In that case, you apologize and inform the person. Old school, maybe. Yet I think handling the public all day is plenty on your plate, without people behaving like you are a machine.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

It is rude behavior. No question about it. People aren't all that considerate in public. Can we stop it? Not likely. I personally have and will let people know that it's bothering me though. Especially in a restaurant or other place as Janet said where you are "captive" to their rude behavior. Texting is fine - I could care less if you texted all day long while you walked through life. But talking loudly on your phone in the earshot of others is another matter. I figure if they are speaking loudly enough to be bothering people trying to have lunch/dinner or other quieter activities, then I'm going to speak loudly myself and ask them if they can take the call elsewhere. And of course many people act all huffy and mad, but most often they take it outside or leave the area. Happened just yesterday at lunch. In our own little town cafe (so it was likely a neighbor). DH and I both first gave him the evil eye, then said loudly to one another how rude some people can be in public - making sure he could hear us as loudly as we could hear him. He ended the conversation right quick.

Kirstjen

Veteran

I find a lot of conversations (not just on cellphones) to be annoying. A lot of people talk for the sake of filling up air time, and not because they have anything meaningful to say.

SW Ann

Veteran

Thank you!!!! I thought, honestly, that I was the only person in the world that considers this rude! It happens ALL the time here, seemingly everywhere I go...shopping, the restroom, at the hair salon, restaurants--and the rudest is the person who will not put down their phone while checking out.... I've never talked to anyone about this because I figured most people would think I was "old fashioned" and totally out of line. I've never intervened, but often move out of earshot, and have left places completely when surrounded. I really did think that I was being overly sensitive because I would not consider doing this. So, again, thank you for letting me know I'm not crazy, just polite (and so are you...:) )

tulle

Veteran

My husband claims it wouldn't be so bad if the overheard conversations were interesting! Generally, though, it goes something like this, "I'm in the produce section . . . " Of course, I've received plenty of perplexed-at-the-supermarket calls from him, too! As CocoLion says, it's modern life.

Windchime

Veteran

I'm amazed at some of the one-sided conversations I've heard people have on cell phones in publc places; absolutely amazed. Evidently a lot of people don't feel a need to keep parts of their lives private. But just because they share it doesn't mean I want to overhear it!

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