Check out Beth Djalali at Style at a Certain Age -- she got a new haircut in late 2014 and it is much more stylish than before, although the last few months it is not looking quite so asymmetrical.

I agree with Gaylene about going to a younger stylist but making sure they don't give you an "older lady" hairstyle, maybe a salon in an upscale area that caters to fashionable 40 year olds will work well.

I did have the asymmetric angled bob for years but then just wanted a change! I vote much shorter in the back and one side(that was really hard for me to do, but that was the thing that really made the difference!) then you can have choppy longer bangs to side. I do try to get there too but my hair is too thin for a very choppy cut and still working on something close enough to it-as I feel much better with this hair, now:-).

Check out also http://bluehuewonderland.blogspot.hu/ for a great (hair) style:-)

Ginkgo's suggestion to look at Beth Djalali at Style at a Certain Age is a great one - I love her hair (reminds me of Deborah's). It would take some product/styling I'm sure but it is great!

I've loved Beth Djalali's style and especially her hair for a long time now! Her last haircut was really great, and I think it makes her look so much younger than the swoop did, although she looked great with that too. I'm still debating about going short-short again and just might. I have a feeling I might be a mother-of-the-bride this year and don't want to make a hair choice I'll regret in wedding photos for decades. Thank you all, I feel much better about my overall look than I did this time twenty-four hours ago.

Glad you're feeling more confident! You have great hair to work with. I've struggled with poor cuts, at well, and have found that taking pics with me on my phone helps the stylist understand what I'm looking for. The biggest problem is finding haircuts modeled on "real" women rather than celebrities. I'm forever saying to the stylist, "I know I don't look like Jennifer Anniston!"

Your relationship with a stylist should be friendly, but it should always put you and your concerns in the center, and is, at heart, a business decision. No need to feel badly about starting a new relationship with a new professional! Let us know (and see) how it turns out.

Well, this is a process, apparently. I took a bunch of photographs of choppier hair with me, he was great and did what I asked, explaining all the way that product would make the biggest difference in how my hair looked, he helped me play with that, he suggested some highlights to create the look of more dimension... Then I came home and promptly washed it. Then I messed it up and played with it and then washed it again. Old dog, new tricks, apparently. Today I did the same thing, started with it messier and have gotten it smoother and neater as the morning has progressed. For your amusement, here are photographs. I've learned I like my hair smooth but choppier is better than straight, that I like it to look shiny instead of next-day-hair. Like I said, I'm in process.

This post has 4 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

It IS a process! And product is king -- or queen! (I just sent you a message about my current favorite product for flip.) I really like how your hair looks in these pictures. The choppier bang is beautiful and I do love the tones in your hair. I'm definitely happiest with my hair at the end of the day -- not quite freshly washed and not quite next day. Ugh - it's all so crazy! Keep playing with product! Have fun, and realize that it's a never-ending experiment.

I like my hair best at 6 pm, too! Thanks for the recommendation.

So, I am popping in out of nowhere, but I had a sudden flash of insight about hairstylists when I saw your post and read your concerns. First, you are absolutely lovely in all of your photos. Any suggestions about your hair are entirely about how you can bring back that feeling of joy and freshness and fun to your hair, not, absolutely not, about fixing a problem. There is no problem here. Your hair is very nice. That doesn't mean you aren't entitled to switch it up and have a little fun, though.

Here's my insight: Think of your cut and your stylists the same way that you think about wardrobe classics. As Angie often reminds us here, classics do not exist in a vacuum. Classics have high longevity, but they need periodic updates so that they look current. Your stylist may be a rut caused either by how he cuts hair (does he continue to take new classes to update his skills?) or about how he thinks about you! It sounds like has a rigid idea of what your hair options are. He is thinking, "A, B or C works for her" and he isn't thinking maybe A with a bit of G thrown in would be fun. He is thinking about all the things that haven't worked for you in the past--things that may work for you now because your perspective has changed.

So your old stylist is cutting your hair in an unchanging classic way. You are feeling like that classic needs the little tweaks that update it so that it continues to be a modern classic. A new stylist isn't weighed down with the knowledge of the things you've tried in the past. It might be very worthwhile to try a change! I wouldn't make a huge change right out of the blocks, though. First, I'd have any new stylist cut your hair in its current style, but with any updates that he or she thinks are needed to make sure it is current and flattering. That may do the trick!

Great analysis, K. Period!

I think the new stylist and you did a great job! I love the new bangs. When I used to do them, I added my own highlights by using a very light Garnier hair color at home - I would sometimes only do like 5 very small strategic sections, then rinse, dry and see where I was before discarding the whole bottle. Sometimes I decided to add just a few more. It did take some time (25 mins. for each process - so maybe 2 hours in a day) but I had complete control that way.

Well you look great to me!! I am horrible with hair but can so relate to the original dilemma ... There is a salon in Toronto I uses to go to called "fiorio", they do a great cut but have a very specific style they like to do, so much so my friends and I used to joke that we'd been fiorio'd!! Didn't matter what you asked for, you got fiorio'd. Sounds like maybe you were getting sassoon'd!!! The cut was probably excellent but perhaps the stylist just had a bit of tunnel vision based on a long career working in a specific style. HAVE FUN trying out something different and exploring your new hair options!

Was this still with your original stylist or did you try someone new? I'm wondering why you washed it as soon as you got home...still didn't like it?

I don't have short hair, but we watched the transition phases of Angie's cut. I'm sure it has to be done in stages unless you go from long to really short. Of your pictures I think the last two are really flattering...soft but modern. But I do love the choppy, spiky look in short hair too!

Yes, I gave Old-Guy one more try. It was very collaborative, but I just didn't feel attractive at the end. I do know that sometimes it takes a few days for a new haircut to settle, and I am building quite a collection of hair-goop ;), but at this point I just want to whack it all off short-short and start again. Viva gave me a great suggestion for a product that I think will work quite well and I ordered it immediately based on her recommendation and how great her flip is. Thank you all so much, you've really counteracted the "you *could look so good if..." unsolicited advice I've been given recently that has caused my confidence to crash and burn. "You are feeling like that classic needs the little tweaks that update it so that it continues to be a modern classic" is EXACTLY right. EXACTLY. I'm going to keep working with this choppier version for a few weeks and go for a new cut, I think. With someone new. I have been stopping women in the street and asking where they get their hair cut and highlighted, and I've gotten repeated recommendations for one place so I think that's where I will try first.

I'm curious as to what inspiration pics you brought? I think your stylist has you on the No-nonsense Democrat Haircut list. Nothing wrong with that! Lol. And not that you want Maggie hair to change things up. But I can see you in something much bolder...

I think you've gone a lovely colour for your skintone! I really like photo #2 from your original post, I think with a long swoopy fringe it would look rather chic.

You could always try playing with a clip in fringe to try it out, I have a couple of these and they are fun and inexpensive (you can snip them with scissors to get the look):

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Funk.....290216?var...

30 years is a really long time for a hair stylist relationship. IMO this guy is way too comfortable with your business, and too lazy. You are always going to be in his chair and therefore a guaranteed income flow. I also wouldn't say you are thinking of leaving either.

I would do this (and I have) just stop in a salon (s) and ask for a consultation with a stylist, state what you have been doing and what you want. Don't' be so quick to not want color, a semi permanent could be a change, and I you don't like it, can wash out. Go on pinterest and look at hairstyle. I also think you should grow it a bit,

I left someone after 20 years because I just needed a change