Not sure where to put this under dressing or shopping, it's a bit of both.
Back in 2008-2009, I lost a of lot weight. I kept it off for five plus years. I was finally able to fit into those trendy designer clothes that I've always coveted, you know the ones that stop at size 10.
Last year due to a myriad of reasons I've gained back about 15 pounds. I'm still a long ways away from my all time high (for the record I was once at least a size 16, in denial). But it was a major backside for me. I thought I conquered my weight, especially keeping it off for the magic five year weight stability.
So at the beginning of this year I bought some dirt cheap clearance jeans to tide me over. Now that the weather has warmed up in Seattle, I realized that most of my shorts don't fit. I found my slouchy, harem black shorts still fit because they were so oversized. The fabric has been always on the thin side. Friday night my friend told my in private that she could see my bright green underwear through them. :O
I went to Nordies, admittedly at the dregs of the their sale. I didn't want normal jean shorts. I trolled all the departments and couldn't find anything remotely attractive in my size. I realized I've been completely sized out of most of Via C. I found some Sam Edelman shorts in a size 10. I could only get them 1/2 way up my thighs. TopShop shorts only went to size 8.
So I went to Barneys, who was also was having a sale. Zilch in the sale section and full priced. I also saw that I couldn't fit into probably 90% of the merchandise on the floor.
I checked Mario's, expensive independent boutique in Seattle, still nothing.
So I tromped on to H&M. I found some things, but at this point I wasn't sure of anything, so I had a myriad of sizes with me in the dressing room. I found many variations of a wide cropped leg pant in black. A style that I've lusted after on La Garconne. The best fitting ones, with the best look...they were a size 14, a size I purged so long ago. But they were only $35, 1/10 of the La Garconne ones, and then there's the old chestnut of no one sees the tag. I also found a cute pair of high waisted black shorts with gold sailor style buttons, in a size 12. Now intellectually I know H&M sizes are all over the map and run small. But I remember what I used to buy there...and sigh. So on the way out I bought a ridiculously oversized giant black sun hat, to hide my shame.
On my way back to the bus I stopped by the Nordies shoe department to check out the Jimmy Choo's for the wedding. They were too narrow. But I did find these crazy sneaker-espadrille hybrid thing from Stella McCartney
ww.barneys.com/Stella-McCartney-Macy-Espadrille-Sneakers-503733493.html?gclid=CLzfl9248sUCFYdbfgodPXUAHg
I was having an "In Her Shoes" moment. It was a relatively good chick-lit novel from the mid 90's, and then made into a movie with Cameron Diaz. Heroine is successful lawyer, but is also overweight and unsuccessful in love, so she buys fancy shoes. Because they always fit.

Now I realize on Monday, they're really tricky to style. And, do I really need them? So I will probably return them.
So now I'm trying to figure out how to go forward, stylistically. Shopping for the Maid of Honor dress didn't help either. I'm hoping to lose the weight, but it's proving pretty hard. I'm trying to get my mojo back, even when I was plus sized my friends said I had good style. But once I tasted the golden apple (probably not the right metaphor), it's hard to go back.
Sorry this is a so long winded gas bag essay.