Attendance at Company "Recognition" Events

I am hoping to ask the wise YLF crowd for their advice on this invitation that I have...

... so in about a month's time, there is an annual resident physician recognition dinner thing. It's formal, held at a nice country-club like atmosphere, and a chance for the staff to do something nice for the residents. It's a partner event, so I'd be able to bring the boy (squee! boy!)

But one part of the evening is "awards" - last year it was very uncomfortable. Only a few of the residents won a whole ton of awards while the others got nothing. I think that they deserved their wins, but I think it sort of made others uncomfortable - we don't receive marks or percentage grades for our work, and I think it is that way to be collegial.

I thought of not going to this event because I don't want to get a ton of awards, but I don't want to be the person who gets nothing either. There isn't a way in advance to know how you will do, and it's just all in all very anxiety provoking for me.

I ran this by the boyfriend, and he thought it might be read as disrespectful not to go.

Any thoughts?

9 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Yeah, these things are miserable but I say suck it up and go. You've got to give praise where praise is due.

Alassë

Probably ought to go, unfortunately. I'm sorry it's an awkward event. At least you will have good company to enjoy!

retailgirl

Definitely go. Enjoy the evening with the Boy. Where I used to work, we had this same sort of thing and I think some people who weren't getting awards were miffed. But my (wise) boss told us to support and be happy for our peers. You know how you perform, an award is nice but in the end, it means little.

Kim

Perhaps you could go to the event to support your peers and before you go convince yourself that you are NOT going to get ANY awards. That way, if you do, you'll be nicely surprised, and if you don't no hard feelings, it was someone else's year this year, and they deserve it too.

Try and not make it about your own feelings, but how you can help make someone else's day, and get REALLY dressed up, and have a great time and a free meal with Boy. Then maybe go out afterwards too, all spiffed up and get some hotdogs? Burgers? Whatever, if the food at event isn't your cup of tea.

Make it a lot of fun, with the awards at the bottom of the list. You are a smart girl, you can easily do this.

Echo

Unfortunately, I think the boy is right. It is important to be seen there, and could easily be read wrong if you do not attend. I agree to not think about the awards end of things (easier said than done, of course), and try to think of it as more of an evening out with the boy in front of your colleagues.

Liz

Can you use this event as practice in getting comfortable with both receiving an award and not receiving one? Because truth is, this type of situation is going to come up again and again in life, and coming to a place where you're fine either way will hold you in good stead.

Anonymous

Yep, you have to go. I agree wholeheartedly with Kim's advice.

deb

I agree that you need to go. If nothing else, to show your support of the winners and be happy for them.

lyn*

(website)

Done! RSVP-ed that I will attend with the Boy. He's really excited to go - haha, more than me

At least the food was delicious last year, and I think the idea of going out for some other food after will be super fun - there's an ice cream shop along that street, I think!

There are a lot of shenanigans going on in my residency year, but we'll see what the staff's take on it is. Will be interesting.

Diana

Yeah, I agree this is the type of thing you have to suck it up and just go and plaster a big fake smile on your face. I will say that these things are much more palatable with a Plus One, preferably one with some distance from the group. That way you have someone on your side to commiserate with!

Suz

Yup. It's the kind of thing you have to go to, like it or not. Kind of like the awards ceremony I went to last year. You only go if you have been nominated, but you don't know who the winners are until the event itself. And you have to smile throughout, no matter what. But it's an excuse to get dressed up, so either way it has some advantages.

ironkurtin

Yeah... go, smile, show community spirit, blah blah. Sorry.

annagybe

Yeah go, maybe there is an open bar?

kkards

yup, its one of those things, its work but not work. so no one really has a good time, but at least the food is good.
i do recommend coming up with a few nice things to say if you win and if you don't.

Stuti

Active Member

Yep go. Who cares for the award. Every one is still going to practice same medicine and no one will remember awards.
Enjoy and party.

Krista

What Anna said! Lol

Freckles

These career things are must do. Go, look fab, have a blast with the boy. I'm sure years from now you'll remember the time you had with the boy and not necessarily what exactly the event was...

Mmm, no open bar, I checked.

Eliza

These kind of events specific to work groups never felt optional to me. Despite the weird vibes the award aspect of the evening may create, there is a team building, we're all in this together component that would trump other variables. I get your concerns and hope it isn't too awful if you decide to go.

trix

Agree with all the opinions here and your decision to RSVP, as un-fun as it may sound at the moment. Sympathies on the uncomfortable atmosphere that those unevenly distributed awards create -- I've had to attend some similar events myself. One thing I've decided as I've gotten older is that the award-givers are not necessarily judging me on things that are important to me. I don't think this is entirely sour grapes :-); I think it's more "marching to the beat of a different drummer." Really, is being a "good resident" the same as being a good doctor? What your attendings want from you may not be what you want for yourself.

In any case, sounds like you've got a great attitude: Enjoy the food, the camaraderie, and the after-event ice cream and post-mortem!

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