I love large cities just because of the anonymity. Granted I need to take breaks but finding a place to sit, drink iced tea, and people watch all by myself is heaven to me. I could never be on a desert island because , well, it is an island. There is no place to run. Oh, maybe that is a completely different issue.

Missed this thread!

I am absolutely an extrovert. I love parties. I would love to put my spare bedroom up on AirBnB just to meet strangers. I love giving talks and telling stories and hearing others' stories.

But I'm also very shy, with serious social anxiety that comes and goes, so I come across as quite reserved in person until I get to know people. And I'm great at having a huge, wide social network, but not as good at connecting more deeply. Too solitary as a young nerd-kid to develop those skills, I think - I didn't come out of my shell until college.

Interesting note about cities. What I don't like about them is the anonymity, what I do like is the hustle and bustle and noise. As much as like the noise of the city, I like the quietness of a small town, especially a harbor town. I like the peacefulness of being by the water. And I like that everyone is so friendly, and that I can strike up a conversation with anyone.

Deb, that is exactly how I feel about cities, too - surrounded by others but able to go and do as I please, just soaking up the atmosphere. I'm quite happy to strike up a conversation with a stranger over coffee, though, if ever I have to share a table.

Interesting about cities and towns. I'd hate to live in a big city, and yet I hate a small town because everybody knows everybody else's business. I prefer cities that are neither too large nor too small so that I don't have to contend with either traffic and congestion or with small town gossip.

I usually score as mildly extroverted on personality quizzes. The question of whether you are drained or energized by other people is a very tough one for me. It depends so much on who the other people are. I feel like I'm moving more towards introverted as I get older.

At work, I have my own office, yet I find myself wandering out to the group space quite often, sometimes even lugging my pile of work out to an area with other people.

Internet forums really appeal to me because I have a desperate need to talk through things to make sense of them in my own head. My family and friends already listen to so so much. I don't really have a good enough sense of fashion to strike up conversations with strangers about it, and when I talk with acquaintances about things like bookending, they give me a look that tells me I sound a little off my rocker.

My two kids are at polar opposite ends of the spectrum. My youngest can stay home for weeks on end, with no outside interaction, and be happy as a clam. It has been suggested she may even have a mild case of selective mutism. My oldest craves school for the interaction with her peers. She has said that she'd rather be in a room full of people she dislikes than to be alone. She desperately hates being alone. It's interesting to watch the way the two of them, and my husband and I (he, a bit to the introvert side and me a bit to the extrovert side) all interact with others and each other.

I'm an introvert who loves cities too. The anonymity is definitely part of it. I actually feel a little weird when people at a store or a coffee shop I go to a lot recognize me. I'd get stir-crazy and miserable in a small town or the kind of neighborhood where everyone knows everyone's business. That said, I do have limited tolerance for hugely noisy and crowded places. I'm with Deb -- being around cool city stuff, but with lots of breaks to sit quietly and relax, seems about perfect to me.

And I've taken random Myers-Briggs tests online a few time and always get either INFP or INTP. I seem to be especially extreme on the P end, which is probably why conversations here about shopping plans, minimalist wardrobe challenges, etc., pretty much sound like a foreign language to me.

I love the anonymity of big cities. What I don't like is the crowds. I agree with Aubergine that it freaks me out slightly when I become a "regular" somewhere and they recognize me. I hate how in smaller towns everyone wants to chit chat.

Oh, and one of the things I hate most is when my (stranger) seat mate on an airplane wants to talk to me. I've been known to wear my headphones with nothing playing on them just to communicate that I don't want to talk to a random stranger.

I thought these charts were fun. Hopefully you can get them to open up big enough to read them.

@ Diane G "Anyway the upshot is that I ended the friendship and as it turned out, it was the best thing I ever did. It has however, made me more careful and wary who I become friends with."

I call thes people leeches I know it is not a nice name but it is what it is I had to clean house. It was so draining to be the cheerleader and almos little to never being cheered for.

I missed this thread, and Ladywone's, until now. I've always thought myself an introvert but I wonder lately if I might be a shy extrovert? I love going out and can handle groups well, once I've met the people involved. So going to a party where I don't know anyone is painful but once I've made a few introductions, I am good at keeping a conversation going and not exhausted/needing to hide in my room after going out. And I don't mind public speaking or being the center of attention. I wonder how much of that is a learned skill though, as I've definitely gotten less introverted over the years.

I do like living in cities, but that has more to do with the activity and transit options than the people.

To Aziraphale: I imagine that it is quite possible for an extravert to have a high privacy requirement--liking the bustle and energy of city life, for instance, but wanting your interactions with other inhabitants to be on your own terms. Having just returned from a weekend in Manhattan, I'm feeling particularly aware of how draining I find simply walking on a sidewalk with so many other people! When I lived there years ago, I had to steel myself before going out and bumping elbows with strangers. And anonymity is no comfort to me; the older I get, the more I appreciate a smile of recognition and a bit of small talk from a neighbor at the post office--or the Spring's first hummingbird, who just appeared at my window looking for the feeder!

I'm very introverted. I would spend all my time alone if that was possible. However, I have trained myself to be social because that is how one should be in society. I can turn on my outgoing persona when applicable. And then turn it off again. I am married to an extrovert and it took him a long time to figure out that my need for alone time did NOT mean that I didn't like him anymore! I have 2 kids...one is introverted and one is extroverted. Having an understanding of their personalities in this way has been helpful in parenting them....both in different ways.

Introvert. Love people but need a lot of recharge time with absolutely no incoming from anyone. Have a very extroverted work life, large presentations, counseling, and the necessity of being a sane person and a leader in sometimes tense situations. Trained as a negotiator also.
Go back to a hotel room and order room service and turn down all invites, find airports and cities calming as can be anonymous.
Live in the country now and love the quiet. Husband is similar, hermit who can turn on a big personality.
Explains my use of wardrobe to either help command a room, or slink into a corner and refuse to make eye contact.
It is a bit schizophrenic, but you do what you need to do to get some important goals met.
Mostly a mouse, now

I love this discussion and will have to go back and read more responses when I have time. I am definitely an introvert and am am married to an extreme extrovert. I think Peri is exactly right for the reasons you find so many introverts on forums. We can participate in discussions that interest us and "check out" whenever we need or want to without seeming to be rude or antisocial. I have just started reading about another theory called The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and my understanding is you can be either an introvert or extrovert and still be HSP. I scored off the charts as a HSP so I am now getting ready to read the book. http://hsperson.com/

I'm very very introverted. Not shy, and I love cities. But I need a lot of alone time. I love what Diana said about having a few people who don't count as "people" in that sense; I've used that terminology myself, but I hadn't heard anyone else do so before.

@AviaMariah I just started one of the HSP books, too.

I would have thought we all have introvert and extrovert in our characters to greater and lesser degrees, and one is dominant and the other not.
I'm an extravert through and through, and feel enriched and charged from spending time with most people. I've swayed a bit as I've got older and have left work and the family have grown up. I now happily have time alone or doing solo activities, and find this time enriching and charging in a completely different way.

I relate to this a lot. I'm very introverted, not shy, love working with and being around people, but very much need daily chunks of alone (and awake) time.

http://offbeathome.com/2015/04/outgoing-introverts

Extrovert. Period.

Sometimes I am surprised, though, by the difficulty it takes to walk alone into a large work function or cocktail party. Give me 5 minutes (and a sip or 2) and I'm all good.

Get this from my Mom's side. Dad is an introvert who loves 1 on 1, Mom is life of party.

My husband is an extrovert, too. He has an easier time with awkward situations than I do.

People like to come to our house! 2 E's.

Introvert that knows how to fake it

I was thinking about this again today. I seriously am an extroverted introvert. I took a course about a year ago and they gave us an assessment on whether we were an introvert or extrovert. My scores fell right smack in the middle, and I could have gone with the extroverted side or the introverted side. I knew if I went with the extroverts I would feel a bit overshadowed, but if I went with the introverts, well, it could be my time to stand out and shine. So I went with the introverts, and when it came time to speak to the entire class, I was the one in our group who volunteered (I was the only one!). If I had gone with the extroverts, I probably would not have volunteered to do the talking for the group.

I'm trying to catch up on what's going on around here and just saw this thread. Love it! I'm most definitely an introvert. But as others have said, I am mostly not shy (as long as group focus isn't turned on me) and love people and even some big events. I just needs tons of alone/quiet time to balance it. The social interaction is exhausting, as is the constant need to weigh my words before speaking. I think many introverts are drawn to this type of forum because it is so easy to be social on our own terms - alone in the middle of the night... able to write instead of speak, etc...

i am mostly introvert. I'm an only child, like my own company and have to have me time to recharge. When I was a child my teachers said I was "selective", because I hung back in social situations. Yet my career involves talking to and interacting with people all day long, and that's the part I love best!

I once had a camp counselor call me (while I was in earshot) the *most self-contained person that she'd ever met.* It was at this crazy hippie camp for women with a lot of self-inflicted peer pressure going on. Anyways, I may do extrovert, but I don't do stupid: I don't jump in ice cold mountain lakes full of bacteria nekkid. I don't strip nekkid to go into *tee-pee saunas.* And I don't eat wax pills waved over a plant when benadryl is available, clothed or unclothed.

*Ahem*, hehe

Coincidentally I just took an online Briggs-Myers test and found out that I'm an extrovert--but not by much--and that this is tempered by being a "Feeling" person instead of a "Thinking" (rational) person. I was somewhat surprised because I am introspective and enjoy my solitude, but it is the "Feeling" part that explains it. I.e. So while I connect with people and enjoy their company, I am at the same time reserved about myself. It's more about listening and bringing out the people around me rather than outshining them, if that makes sense.
If you are curious you can take a free, quicker version of the test here:
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp
(I'm an ENTJ)

Introvert here! INFP

I read "Quiet" too StyleFan. It helped me see that introversion/extroversion is actually a matrix and you can be some of each.

Loud noise sucks the life out of me, as do crowds and parties. I am friendly and outgoing, engaging and confident, but I would rather stay in and have peace if I could choose.

I'm not sure how to answer this. I love to be around people but I'm most definitely an introvert. I have a hard time being in large groups and loud places but I think that's because of some sort of auditory processing issue. I have always had a hard time sorting what someone is saying from the background noise when it gets too loud. I prefer small, intimate and quiet social settings, and there are times when I definitely feel the need for alone time. Not always though, I can be very social and gregarious.

I have a most interesting and profound result on the Meyers-Briggs suggested by K.M. I turn out as INFJ. When I read the profile for this type, it fits me exactly. It even says that people with this profile tend to be very empathic and make good professionals in fields related to psychology and as counselors, and certainly Child and Adolescent Psychiatry counts! This is the first online quiz I have ever tried where the result actually seems to ring true.

So, Introvert, intuitive, Feeling, Judging

(Not sure exactly what the judging part means anymore but it's judging vs. perceiving so I think it's more about using analytical skills than being judgmental - I hope I'm not judgmental?). I need to go pick up a text book and check. We don't use these tests in kids so I only have to review this stuff for my recertification boards every 10 years.