Are there things we just CAN'T wear because of particular body shape? - YouLookFab Forum

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Are there things we just CAN'T wear because of particular body shape?

Von

Veteran

Last week, I bought what seemed like the perfect shirt dress for me. I have wanted one for the longest time to pair with my booties, but have been waiting for something I thought I could pull off. Not too short, loose enough, and not with the rounded hemlines. This AT dress seemed to fit the bill.

When it came in, it fit so tight across the hips, but was loose up top. The length was good -- so I put it in the closet to ponder, like we always do with bad purchases. But, I kept thinking "What would YLF do??". I KNEW you guys would vote for a swift and immediate return if I posted a photo, based on current fit, not with all of the future potential after nipping, tucking, Spanxing, and weight loss in strategic zones I had going on in my head. I guess I wanted to make me fit the dress, when in actuality, the dress was shaped like a rectangle, the polar opposite of what I am. I had to take a long look at my shape and see that even if I fit the dress in front, my rear was doing all sorts of things in the back of the dress. It was meant to skim and flow, and that was never going to happen, no matter how many sizes up I went for the dress, or down I tried to lose.

This brings me to the question, even though things are made in all sizes, are there truly things that you KNOW that for your body shape, you must steer clear of?? For me, it's straight and boxy dresses. I cannot go up enough sizes to make one fit everywhere without having to have it tailored down in others. It seems counterproductive to buy one if I'm going to have it altered to fit more sleek.

High-Low Hem Shift Dress

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Frye Patty Riding Boot

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38 replies

Latest reply was from Jenava

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I don't own any shirt dresses right now either, and they are hard to find because of my pear shape. I do think there are certain items for most of us that are nearly impossible to find in RTW because of size issues - not that we can't wear them but that we'd have to get them custom made or tailored. Mine are because of the pear shape thing or my height.

I do think personally there are some proportions I just don't bother to try to make work anymore, but that doesn't mean I never will try again in my lifetime.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Yup. Absolutely.

For me, it's wrap dresses and tops. I just can't fill them out and they hang there. Yes, I could wear them with a camisole underneath....but generally they are cut in such a way that it is just not an attractive look on me.

I also do really poorly with anything really draped on top. Again, it just seems to hang there, inert. Looks awful.

I feel your pain. But you made the right decision.

unfrumped

Veteran

Absolutely, is right. . I also need a size difference between top and bottom so many dresses won't work. I look for what appears to be some kind of style or accomodation for that. I'm also willing to tailor the top part for the perfect dress, but have to be careful not to over-imagine in that area, as some things just won't turn out right.. But, sometimes I can't tell from the photo. So the next best thing is to be very firm on returning (Next!) & I've also had to have a swift kick from YLF sometimes to help me see the light--because you know we just are so hopeful we could make something work..

abc

Veteran

Una started a thread kinda related to this last week. It was something like - if you could find those elusive items that never work for you what would they be?

I guess I would say its hard to say you will never find X item but I guess after a while you just kind of dismiss any iterations of that item because you know 99% of the time they don't fit.

Jenny H

I feel your pain.

I could probably create a long list here of things that never work for me. But the first one that comes to mind is turtlenecks. I have long been drawn to turtlenecks since I run cold but I have a short neck and they never look right on me. I've bought many but always ended up getting rid of them in short order.

Now mock turtlenecks are a possibility but I haven't ever found a true turtleneck that works.

Thank goodness for scarves and their magical neck-warming properties!

Anonymous

Yes, and I've been working to define what usually doesn't work for me to save myself the hassle of time and effort trying on items that are less likely to work. I'm a rectangle and shift dresses, like the one you've shown, are one of the dress styles that are more likely to work for me. Anything form fitting, or waist defining usually doesn't work.

rabbit

Veteran

Luckily they aren't as much of a thing anymore but low-rise jeans. For awhile it seemed like they were the only option and it was an instant plumber's crack recipe for me. My bellybutton was in a different zip code than the top of the pants, very awkward. I basically skipped buying new styles of jeans for about 5 years.

Also slip on dressy flats, they just don't stay on me. I whole-heartedly embrace the ankle strap trend, long may it reign.

Diana

Veteran

I'm in the same boat as you. I adore true straight shift dresses but my hips are 1-2 sizes bigger than the rest of me so it's really difficult to find one that both fits my hips and is not enormous on top.

True sheath dresses are also nearly impossible for me to fit. I figured out at some point that my back is a size 4, my bust/waist is an 8, and my hips are a 12. Plus I'm super short waisted, so the top part is always also too long in addition to being too wide.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Oh, yes, absolutely. Any of those oversized boxy tops simply do not work. They make me look like a brick. So sad. I wish I could wear them.

However, on the topic of getting thing tailored: I do it all the time. I factor it into the cost of the garment. Usually it's no big deal -- I just buy the size that fits me at my widest part, and get the rest tailored down. However, I've got to know which alterations will be complicated and thus costly. (Taking things up at the shoulder, for example, is never cheap).

Kim

Veteran

Peplum tops including peplum dresses! I have tried on more than I can count, and can never find one that fits my natural waist because I have a long torso. Too bad, because I adore the look! I may have to find a sewing pattern and alter it to make the elusive thing. LOL

DonnaF

Veteran

Most regular clothing, esp. at the neckline, because I am 5' 1" and a Petite. But I still sometimes try, esp. where the hemline would be indecent on a taller gal or peplums w/o long sleeves since I have a long waist.

Shift dresses. They LOOK so comfy! Even if I can get a reasonable fit, they are so unflattering on my body and emphasize all the wrong things like my heavy arms, narrowish sloping shoulders, short neck, full and low bustline, and not great legs. I keep hoping I will find one with a low boatneck and maybe that will work.

Anonymous

Anything that's straight up and down. My shoulders, but and hips are larger than my waist, so trying to wear that silhouette is like trying to fit a round peg into a square hole.

Shift dresses look comfy but look hideous on me. Don't get me started.

Pant rises that are too short or too long.

Drop waist dresses and tops.

Blouson tops.

Tops or sweaters with banded bottoms. Ugh!

I could go on, but these are the worst offenders.

Von

Veteran

Well, I feel like the older I get, the more apt I am to try different styles and try to banish the "You shouldn't wear X if Y" thoughts...but it's hard. I think the main deciding factor has changed from "does it come in my size?" to "does this look good on me?" Because my closet is continually being purged of unworn items I bought simply because I found it in my size. I can't use that as a justification because though it's my size, but it's still not "my fit".

Right up until the moment I took that dress back, I was reconsidering if I should try it on one more time to see if I could work it. In my head I had to say "NO, you and your butt and your thighs can NEVER work it...this is not your dress." LOL!!

catgirl

Veteran

High collared button downs, any top shaped like a triangle, shoulder pads or puffiness, really high crew necks. Classic IT issues with how things fit on top. I mean, I COULD wear them but it would be a travesty.

DonnaF

Veteran

I gotta add: It would be pretty rare that I could/should wear what alaskagirl rocks, although we have overlapping tastes and are both height challenged. Same with Transcona Shannon. Very different body shapes and proportions plus their legs are much longer. I have also learned to shy away from YLF lemmingwear.

Carole

Veteran

Yes, I've learned over time what is best to avoid for my body shape! I almost ordered that dress, Von, during the crazy AT sale. I wish I would have but instead ordered one that is likely to be returned, too short and it has a waist which I usually steer clear from because I have a very high waist and it feels odd. I do much better with shift type dresses like you posted. Any details that add focus to shoulders I steel clear from. Very broad shoulders here! Once I figured out the figure flattering priorities to look for, shopping became so much more enjoyable.

Style Fan

Veteran

Absolutely! I can not wear clothes made for straight up and down women. I am very curvy. Even when I weighed 20 pounds less in my 40s (premenopausal) I was still curvy. Skinny jeans are out.

Anonymous

Von, yes, too many to count. There is probably a way to have any style of garment custom-made for us, but it we want to wear things that fit easily off the rack, I find they are the very things Angie suggests in the (new and improved!) body type guidelines. I will never fill out wrap dresses or boot cut jeans. Eileen Fisher-esque drape does not work on my body at all. Sheath dresses always cave in at the bust and require major alterations to fit, and even then they're not all that flattering, as well as Chanel style jackets. You are not alone!

gryffin

Veteran

Von - I actually disagree. Did you ever read "who, what, wear's" book? They make a good case that there is usually an iteration of every style which can be worn be a figure and they show examples by assigning celebrity. "Doppelgängers" for figure types. Example, I'm a slim rectangle ruching looks dreadful on me it gives me a pseudo pooch. But I can wear sewn down pleats for a similar effect or I can wear tiny ruching but only on the sides. I truly believe if you love something you can adapt it to flatter your figure. Just my two cents but I sm the eternal optimist!

Meow

Veteran

Good question. Yes, I think there are things you can't wear if you want to look your best. Of course, you can wear anything you want and not get arrested - lol. I just discovered that I have wide shoulders - geez, you think I would realize that before 50! I didn't really "see" it until I started taking photos of myself and tried to figure out what was wrong. I look horrible in boat neck tops. So rather than fussing about it, I find it almost freeing because now I can go shopping and flit around the store quickly eliminating most items - wrong color, wrong style, wrong size....it helps me focus.

Sal

Veteran

There are two categories for me:

1) Things that just never fit me.

2) Things that fit but just don't work, or I have to try too hard to make them work.

In category 1 would be the shirt dress, the tie never sits at the right place. I quite fancied the look this summer but have tried on about six of which all were the wrong shape!

In category 2- true skinny jeans, boxy sheath dresses, denim shorts, trench coats.

Deborah

Veteran

Not having read the other replies, I would say that anyone can wear anything they want But it all comes down to what we are aiming for in our dressing. I adore a certain style of skirt. It does not flatter my figure. It would add to my frame and make me look larger than I like to look. I am confident I could wear it and style it and look 'nice' but it wouldn't make me happy because the image projected would not be what I am going for.. does that make sense. So yes there are certain things I don't even look at because I know they are a not a flattering option to my eye on my body.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

For me it is more to do with personality - if I love something I can usually find a way to wear (a version) of it

Some things will never feel right on my body though. How I feel trumps how I look (not that I want to look bad).

The look below is one I love seeing on others but would feel so un-me I would feel totally odd. Granted, physically it would emphasis all the areas I don't want to emphasise but emotionally I would feel completely obliterated - I wouldn't know who I was.

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Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I agree with some of the others here, like gryffin and Kiwigal, that it seems less a matter of "can't wear" than it is finding the right iteration or perhaps finding that it just takes too much effort to wear certain styles. I think I'm too stubborn to believe there are styles I just can't wear. I'd rather believe I choose not to.

For your shirtdress, Von, I do think it would be possible for you to wear the style. As a seamstress, I think a custom tailor could alter a pattern to fit your upper and lower torso so that you could wear the style. And then you might like it! Or you might not. When I sew, I like to try on styles in the stores to see if it's worth my effort trying to make a version of something. If it's one of those problematic styles that I can't find to fit decently on my body, then it can be a lot of work (making a trial version) to find out that I don't like the style on me after all.

DonnaF

Veteran

I also appreciate the things I CAN wear that others can't so well, and celebrate the things and/or looks that look FAB on others that would at best look MEH on me. I am also grateful that I no longer have to wear a gym uniform and never had to wear a school uniform because I swear, those things tend to be cut to flatter nobody. Equal opportunity ugliness.

Jules

Veteran

There are definitely things I avoid basically by default. Sometimes it's so ingrained I don't even conciously realize it. I do agree there might be a version of every trend for everyone, but how much work for the reward? Tube skirts of any kind, but especially with wide horizontal stripes, were always going to be difficult, not just because of wide hips but also a quite narrow above-knee area. The stripes really circle and emphasize my unusual proportions. I tried one on because I saw so many fabbers rocking them, but quickly realized the lengths I might have to go to find the right width of stripe and pattern placement that *might* work - if it even exists; I don't have a personal tailor at my disposal to remakes a design to suit me. For fun, trendy items I'm not really interested. Why fight my body or spend that much time miserable in dressing rooms?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I totally understand -- I look TERRIBLE in shift dresses. I also look awful in high-waisted anything -- a product of a very hourglassy shape and a short torso.

Pretty much anything an IT wears beautifully looks bad on me, much to my chagrin. I try to appreciate that there might be something that my big-chested, big-hipped self wears well that someone else might envy, but I'm not sure what that is. Fitted tops, maybe? But they're not exactly cutting edge. My shape seems to call for more conventional figure flattery, while my preferred style persona would be more cutting edge, ideally. This is my constant style struggle, but I feel like I'm achieving some compromise lately that makes me pretty happy.

Joy

Veteran

Oh, yes. I have a long list of no-nos including wrap dresses and anything with a low neckline, especially if it is wide too. Dresses and skirts with lots of swish and flare...I'll stop there. It's depressing enough.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Janet, you rock wrap dresses - something I can never make work as they gape on top. On you they are spectacular.
I am like Suz: anything with a low neckline looks bad on me - especially now, after the weight loss. But you know what - I am OK with this and do not want to try and make them work: I will happily wear turtlenecks, boatnecks, crewnecks and other high necklines and leave V-necks and wrap dresses to Janet and other ladies who can rock the look
However there is a different issue of what you THINK you cannot wear and what DEFINITELY does not fit your body. I always thought that I cannot wear skinnies because I am curvy on the bottom. I needed YLF and Angie to set me straight and prove that I can wear skinnies, they just have to be right skinnies (more like straight legs, not calf-sucking variety) and they have to be worn in a right combination: longer tunic top and substantial footwear to balance them out.
Then there were trousers. Ask Angie - she is still chuckling that 3 years ago I was lamenting that I cannot find any trousers which fit - and now I am a trouser girl. I was very sure before that I don't have a "trouser" body being curvy on the bottom and only small hipped gals can rock the trousers. Huh! It is all in the past now
I think you can rock a shirtdress, just not this particular one. You need one cut in more fluid style, maybe with dropped shoulders or raglan sleeves which will allow you to size up to accommodate your bottom part. This shirtdress looks pretty tailored.
And then there are alterations. They are a MUST if you wear different sizes in the different body parts. I was more of a pear before so I always had to size up in dresses to fit the hips and alter the top. I am hourglass now but still need alterations because my shoulders are wide but my back is narrow and my bust is small. It is very rare to find something in a tailored cut I can wear without alterations - hooray for the fluid fit!!!

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