I just read a review of a device called NuFace on WardrobeOxygen. You might like to check it out. Not sure if it'd have the results you want.

i've had laser skin tightening using a mild yag laser about 4 years ago. the effect was subtle and took a while, but i did like the more toned look. it's a time commitment with a series of 6-8 initial treatments. think i would have gotten a much more durable effect if i returned for semi-annual top-ups.

I glanced through the comments and didn't see this mentioned. I have no idea if this Doyle help but the makers of the Clarisonic skin care system, which I love, has a newer device called the Opal. It is for around the eyes and other areas that need a gentle massage that will moisturize and encourage collegen. The SA said that women are using it with great results on the neck too.
Another idea is facial yoga positions. There used to be a TV yoga program that included them. One position was called the lion and involved stretching the neck out, sticking the tongue out as far as you can and opening eyes very wide. Like any exercise, over time it made a difference in firmness in neck and face.

Joy, I actually bought a book about facial yoga exercises a couple of years ago! I guess for me, the problem is that I never remember to do them.

Thank you all for all the ideas and suggestions. Lately I'm feeling overwhelmed and emotionally a bit drained, so I think that's feeding into the desire for...something. When life calms down a bit, I might go for a consult or try some of these ideas that require less commitment. Or maybe I will just keep living with looking the way I do and stop worrying about it.

I really appreciate all the comments and discussion! I'm glad I opened the topic to you all.

Just chiming in to say I am another who grapples with these same questions. Thanks for being so open, Janet. I love this entire conversation.

Googling "Clarisonic Opal" now. Thanks Joy.

Good to hear the Clarisonic works. I may look into that.

Lots of suggestions and thoughts here, Janet, but you may have hit on an important one in your last comment.

I know I see an older, tireder, and saggier me in the mirror when I'm overwhelmed or emotionally drained. And referring to that visage as "resting bitch face" doesn't improve matters. Do whatever feels right, but keep in mind what you see in the mirror is never what others see when they look at you.

You are beautiful as a bubbly, looks-younger-than-her-years woman whose sense of style wows everyone here, but you are every bit as beautiful in those more sober, thoughtful, and, yes, a bit weary moments you've captured on camera. Maybe use your photographer's eye when you look into your mirror before you decide on creams and surgery to "fix" what might not be broken?

I think you look great, and don't need anything. Of course what you do is up to you.

However, I was reminded of a conversation I had last year with a close friend. We were both bemoaning our jowls, etc. (I'm older than you, and my friend is older than me), and my friend mentioned that her older sister had had a face lift. Her sister was thrilled with the results. My friend said her sister didn't look like herself anymore. Her mouth was different, I think. This is why I would be very cautious of any surgical option.

I used to get botox in my 40s. I liked the results but now it would look weird to have a perfectly smooth forehead and a sagging jawline. Like you Janet I am unhappy about my jawline and I have an awful RBF. I look mean and unhappy, which I am not, in the least. Now I try to remember to walk around with a bit of a smile all the time. It's vital in my field to look pleasant and happy. I wish I had the money to do something, but I don't. So there you have it. People often think I am older than I am, and I have to live with it. At least I am in excellent health.

Oh and part of the reason why our jawline sags, is that we experience bone loss which also creates dental and periodontal issues. I have spent a lot of money in 2015 fixing upper and lower gums, surgically. It has slowed the tooth loss that gum disease can cause, which is good, but has not given me back my jaws and lips.

Denise, you've mentioned something that is an issue for me, that I had never even connected to the jawline issue -- periodontal disease. Despite the fact that I am religious about brushing and flossing, my gums seem to be prone to these issues (I'm pretty sure I inherited that from my dad -- he lost most of his real teeth at an alarmingly young age, but he also grew up in the 1930s in a poor family with a lot of siblings, so no dental care like we have today!). I may need to have some gum surfer done this year to treat a couple of areas where the problems are recurring, after 7 years of holding the problems at bay from when they were first diagnosed. Of course, my health comes before vanity, so I wouldn't have any kind of cosmetic procedure until I have these more pressing issues addressed.

I have also adopted a habit of holding my face in at least a bit of a smile at most times when I'm out in public. I think it actually doesn't look so much like I'm smiling as it does just having a halfway neutral-to-pleasant expression on my face. Even when I'm smiling with my lips closed, it tends to look like a smirk because of the asymmetry in my face. So who knows, maybe I just look smug then?

I'll confess, I am quite emotionally invested in the fact that I FEEL younger than I am, and some of that translates to me wanting to LOOK younger than I am. I know that many of you embrace looking your age, whatever that age may be, and I hope to achieve that peace someday.

Just needed to chime back in after reading your last paragraph, Janet, especially the part about embracing looking your age--truthfully, I doubt that I'd ever reach that zen state.

It's a complicated business coming to terms with growing old in a society that deems "Wow, I'd have never guessed you are XX; you look so much younger" as the highest compliment you could bestow on an older woman. If I don't get that reaction, I'm more resentfully resigned than peacefully embracing the signs of aging. ;(

What I am trying to figure out is my double standard whereby I find "character" compellingly beautiful in other people faces but dissatisfied when I see it on my own face. So hard to walk the talk some days.

Ah, Gaylene, I understand. And I can much more easily see beauty in the aging faces of others while being critical of it in my own.

My mother, right up until her final days lying in a hospital bed, looked younger than she was, and she was always proud of that. She was meticulous about taking care of her health and her looks. I know I internalized a lot of those things I learned from her.

Around 15 years ago when I was in my late 40s, I started to fuss about my wrinkles. Then I developed systemic scleroderma, so my body produces excess collagen. Not so many wrinkles maybe ever, but my face isn't as expressive. And an autoimmune disease that isn't going away. Be careful what you wish for.

A few days ago, I must have done something to my Achilles tendon or heel. I don't remember twisting my ankle or any other acute event. But now I can barely walk with a fair amount of pain but am in a city for DD's graduation without a car so a lot of walking is necessary. I usually walk 19 times around a track for exercise so this is a huge shock. A warning? I complain a lot about my fussy feet and short, fat, bowed legs, but I would functional over this stupid pain, especially knowing that I won't be able to see a doctor until I get home late next week. I know you run a lot, so treasure that ability.

Janet, you've received a lot of good advice; here's mine. Book an appointment with the best woman dermatologist in your area to get an expert opinion of your bone structure, muscle symmetry and skin health. With one honest appointment you'll have the structural foundation of your facial expressions. Knowing that, you can slice and dice your options.

You're gorgeous -- and it's perfect to be a seeker and a questing creature. It makes us happy

FWIW, I completely agree with others that you look lovely as you are, but I also know how it feels to have specific things that bother me for my own personal reasons, and I respect that. I also respect everyone's desire to take whatever action they choose/are financially able to address these things. I just heard about something - maybe third hand (a friend of a friend knows someone....) that was pretty amazing. It is non surgical, and is something that has a sort of time delay - it looks better as more time passes, then eventually (4-5 years) may need to be redone. I am waiting to hear back from my friend about the name of it because I can't remember. We looked at some before and after photos and I was really impressed that people didn't look artificial. It sounds like they can do overall face or target specifics - just eyelids, neck, chin, décolleté etc. the photos I saw just showed more definition of eyes and jawline and not tightly pulled skin. To me, it looked like the best of all worlds. So far, of any option I have heard of or seen, this one looked like the only one I would consider if finances permitted and I felt strongly enough about addressing any issues (I definitely see eyelid issues looming, among other things). I will get back to you with the name,,,,

Xtabay - I hope you heal well and all goes as you hoped. I'm happy for you that you are doing something for yourself that will make you feel wonderful

A bit late to the party, but here's my two cents:
I've always had a soft jawline, even as a teenager. I don't mean a double chin or jowls (back then), but a certain softness in that area.
Not at all like the women who have really strongly marked jawlines.
With normal aging, jowls developed and I hated them. I'm not overweight, so that wasn't the issue. Genetics, I guess.
There are all kinds of non-invasive treatments like Thermage, Ulthera, facial exercises, Botox, Fillers .... All of that may help a bit, but will have to be done repeatedly and isn't as effective as surgery.
So many procedures that are cosmetic in nature are widely accepted: teeth straightening, teeth whitening, hair coloring, contact lenses, Botox, Fillers etc.
Surgery is invasive and many people draw the line there, but I'm a proponent of fixing what truly bothers me. My body, my live, my money.
I went with a surgeon who is rated one of the top docs in my state and who only does faces.
No visible scars and (I think) very natural looking results. As far as scars go: there is no surgery without scars. How visible they end up being depends mainly on the surgeon's skill, but also on your ability to heal.
There are surgery franchises out there (Sono Bello etc) who advertise Mini-lifts, but I would stay away from that kind of setting.
If you decide to go down that road, try and find a surgeon who specializes in procedures of the face and has good reviews.
Ask to see before and afters of the procedure, performed by that surgeon.

Minnie, those results look great! Subtle but very effective. I've always had a bit of "extra" under the chin too. It's really obvious in profile, and it's definitely hereditary. My mom never weighed more than 135 lbs at 5'6" and had the chin thing as well.

Thank you for all the great advice! When life calms down a little (and after I get my new periodontist lined up and have a consult with them about any dental/perio work I need done), perhaps I'll have a consult with a respected dermatologist and surgeon as well.

Just chiming in to ditto what Minnie has said. I have been researching this topic for a while to try to make some decisions about what I want to do going forward. My neck is really giving away my age and it is really bothering me. It seems there are a lot of procedures that will help (Thermage, Botox, etc)but you have to continue to pay to have tune ups. Surgery is way more invasive but lasts a lot longer. I also remember reading about how doing cosmetic dentistry can really help make the structure of your face look younger. That may be something to look into when you get your dental work done. I am also wondering if you have tried Retinol. From what I've read it really helps tighten the skin a bit though it takes 6 months to a year to work but is considered a good first step for those who have tried it.

Janet, there are lots of things that cosmetic dermatologists do now that don't require actual surgery. In our extended family, we have a husband-and-wife MD team who run a very fancy medical practice that specializes in plastic surgery and dermatology (both medical and cosmetic). As we understand it, the plastic surgery side of the practice has actually gotten a bit slow lately, because there are so many less invasive ways to do things with less recovery time, less bruising, etc.

So look around to see what treatments might be available besides surgery. I believe those lines you're describing are commonly referred to as "puppet lines". I have a friend of 60 who recently had hers treated by having fillers injected, and she's very pleased with the results.