Thanks all, I just caught up on the responses.

It was interesting because I did see the woman again last weekend. I had to interact over something, and I took a pragmatic approach. She was friendly and joking...which was all rather odd. It will happen again though....she is too stressed/angry for it not to.

Bullies just want to get you all worked up. They don't like it when things are calm and quiet. They want to sew discord, and will do it if you let them. To preserve your sanity, you need to block her texts. Beyond that, I have no advice other than not to communicate with her any more than is absolutely necessary.

Do not try to "make friends", keep it light. Remind yourself that she's not a big part of your life and this isn't a big deal, and try not to bring any intense energy to your contacts with her. Focus on what she says, not how she says it, and respond only to the subject matter.
Try to keep your conversations light, friendly, superficial, and short. Do not engage and always stay a moving target.

I work with a b*&chy coworker who most certainly would bully me if I let her. She's not a team player, and nothing comes out of her mouth that's not in a sarcastic or intimidating tone. It bothered me at first, but not after I realized her behavior problem has absolutely nothing to do with me. She's that way to a lot of people, including our boss. Why he puts up with it and doesn't fire her or at least call her out on her attitude, I don't know; but the point is that it's not about me. My DH wisely advised me to let her be the one to die of a heart attack.

I have had some resolution today. After this situation I took the approach of just getting on with it, not getting close and not letting her bother me. At our mid winter forum two months ago she attended in a very angry mood, and stormed out, swearing at my husband, after spoiling for a fight. He went outside, spoke to her, and she shouted at him for another ten minutes.

One week later he wrote to her asking for an apology, in a very calm, conciliatory manner. We have had no response for seven weeks.

It is our club AGM tonight and I received an email today with her resignation from the committee, and some comments. She is still angry with me as there were several barbs, however it was calmer and she had realised there was no point her continuing her involvement.

She is a very angry person whom I do not want to be involved with. I hope her children still come to the club.

Thanks to those who shared their stories and wisdom.

Glad to know this woman is finally out of your life, Kiwigal.

There you go. She took care of herself(!)

Wow, this will be a huge relief. I hope she gets some help.

People like this cause havoc in community organizations. The hierarchy is a little softer than in a corporate business, and they have amassed more power than anywhere else in their life -- and abuse that power. Her behavior is driven from within and you have little to do with what triggers it to cause eruptions. Don't feel like you have to walk on eggshells because of someone's distorted behavior. Keep your distance from her, be cordial to her children (who can use good adult examples) and enjoy your club.

Relieved for you!

Kiwigal, I applaud your mature attitude and behavior. I am always at risk of getting wound up by such people, even though I know I should not, and I think you did great!

Happy to hear it's resolved. It sounds like the club will be a happier place without her.

I'm glad you can move on.
Hopefully her girls are ok.