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Accountability

Deborah

Veteran

Hi Ladies,

I have watched with great interest Austerity August and applaud all who participated:)

I love shopping! And I love the thrill of that new little something:). But my wardrobe is really in good shape, even as we head into the coming season, ALL I NEED is a slip. I don't really have needs, just wants. I have slowly been moving closer to, and applying the quality over quantity principal but I still have a way to go.

My goal is to stop the spontaneous purchases that eat into my budget, and start saving my clothing money in order to purchase the quality "wants" on my wishlist. I have definitely become a more discerning and measured shopper but self discipline is still a challenge.

So, I am sharing this purely for accountablilty and if anyone is feeling the same perhaps we can support each other. I'm taking baby steps and am endeavoring to not buy clothes for the month of September. If I go well, I may see if I can make it through November as well:).

This is going to be a challenge for me, and I thank you in advance for your support.

xxxDeborah

General

36 replies

Latest reply was from Deborah

carolbee

Veteran

Oops, best not PM you about the summer black SS cocoon cardi I looked at, lol.

I won't be joining you, need some new shoes and have a couple of wardrobe holes I will fill if I find the right items, but I hear you about not spending on those new little somethings that I often seem to buy....

Lyn D.

Veteran

Putting this in writing is brave Deborah!

I have been thinking about this a lot lately too, and have pretty much decided to buy very little for the rest of this year.
(I have my eye on a draped trench that will cost the same as 3-4 tops, but I see it as a longer-term investment and therefore well worth the $.)

The trigger for me is having time and access to tempting shops, and not sticking to my wish-list.

Perhaps our next meet-up can be next month, and we can compare notes then?

Inge

(website)

We shall keep an eye on you all through September, young lady!-)

Deborah

Veteran

Carol you tease! PM me anyway and let's see what kind of resolve I have lol:)

Lyn that is an excellent idea. That would give me something to work towards:). Tell me more about this trench.

Thanks Inge, really appreciate it.

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

I'll be watching, Deborah! I like your approach, and I hope that slowly, I'll be content doing the same. I seem to crave a lot more than I need, myself.

Windchime

Veteran

Good for you, Deborah! As you know, I'm in a different place from you on my style journey, still working out my style and building a wardrobe. However, I put my early fall capsules together over the weekend and was startled at the number of items I have--probably twice as many tops as I truly need for early fall, for example. On the other hand, I have a few gaping wardrobe holes, such as white jeans. So I won't be joining you in a September shopping abstinence pledge, but I am resolving to be disciplined about shopping only for needs.

Oh, and I actually NEED a new slip, too.

Joy

Veteran

I feel as you do, now having wants rather than needs and wanting the discipline to wait and save for a few great pieces. I've learned not to impose a complete shopping ban but imposing one in, one out helps. At the beginning of a season I want to think in terms of refreshing that season's wardrobe and what might need to be replaced with an upgrade.
For fall I replaced a puffer at NAS, found some boots,and want to add the trends of tops in more fluid fits, a pair of tonal patterned jeans, and booties or loafers in either cognac or dark red. Maybe a wild card. I'd welcome help in not getting sidetracked.

Anonymous

Deborah -- you have attained the goal that I strive for every single day!!! Congratulations!!! I would be honored to be your accountability buddy.

jackiec

Veteran

Great idea! I'm not sure I can commit at this point. Any time I restrict myself on something I go off the rails, so to speak. I will, however, be keeping a close eye on my spending as I really do not have many needs. Being more thoughtful about purchases is definitely always wise. We will be here to watch & support you

shiny

Veteran

Don't hate me for saying this, but the "wants" are the fun part!

The wants are what livens up a wardrobe, once you've filled all your "needs" - i.e., the core items.... analogy: you need dinner but you want dessert... you can't have your dessert without eating your dinner first... a diet with only dessert is going to leave you empty and lacking and all bloated with guilt and regrets... but skipping dessert all the time removes the joy out of life.

Of course, save the calories ($) for the absolute best "dessert" you can afford... you crave that decadent chocolate triple fudge cake, then skip dessert for a month to save the calories for it... but then again, sometimes what you crave is an ice cream when the Good Humor truck rolls around -- because it reminds you of childhood. Go for it.

My father taught me how to budget. His philosophy was to always allow for "wants" in your budget -- no matter how little you make. Even when I was fresh out of college with first job, even when I was struggling divorced single mom, he encouraged me to make room in my budget for splurges... very tiny splurges, appropriate to my tiny income at those times... of course, he also taught me to always pay cash for the wants, and reserve credit only for emergencies.

Not to enable you or anything.

Anonymous

Sorry - I'm busy googling expensive belts.

Gracie

Veteran

Great goal! I'm glad to be here for support. After NAS, my shopping slowed to a crawl, so I think I'm good at self-regulating without shopping bans. I returned two pair of shoes (online order) yesterday, had a chance to go look in four of my favorite shops, tried on a few items and bought nothing. When I'm in this "pull back" mode, the phrase that comes to me automatically is: I already have something similar, But Better, and Proven. It's a nice, empowering feeling to reject the "new candidate" and keep loyal to my currently loved item. Lol my mind games, being faithful and just to my current wardrobe, it works for me. Currently I'm working on slowly reducing the number of items in my wardrobe, no major sweeps, just going at my own pace. Good luck with your resolution, be strong!

Anonymous

In all seriousness, I think accountability is key to achieving goals. Most of us need that - and I'm here to remind you of that when necessary (or when I can tear myself away from Net-a-Porter)

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Good for you! I'm on a very slow drip instead of a running stream with my shopping and might be purchase free by month's end as well. I don't need any more summer goodies (white shorts are in the mail) and it's a long while until pants weather for me.
I have fall wants but unless the perfect jacket or sweater pops up, there is no sense in getting them several months in advance.

Adelfa

Veteran

Deborah, I know what you're talking about! About a month ago I took a big break from the Forum because my summer wardrobe was in great shape and I wanted to quit the impulse buys!

For Fall I could use some work tops (maybe 3-5) and one or two work toppers. However I have no need whatever for pants or footwear (those are much easier for me to buy). This will be my first Fall in LA, though, and I'm not sure how this works. I know people will start dressing for Fall soon, but the temperatures probably won't drop for a couple of months. I tried to stock up on some short sleeved summer tops in darker colors.

So I'd like to confine my shopping to identified needs. Yes, let's support each other!

Emily

Veteran

I'm with you, until November, with some planned exceptions: New winter coat, Cognac tall boots if I find the perfect pair, Club Monaco dress I am stalking if it goes on sale.

DonnaF

Veteran

So Deborah, what are the quality *wants* on your Wish List (so we can remind you when something tempting comes down the road)?

Lyn D.

Veteran

Here is the link-http://www.trenery.com.au/prod.....all-Trench
I tried it on last week- how can I resist such a beauty?

So- no hard and fast no-buy rules for me, but I definitely don't need anything more at the moment.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I applaud your discipline and focus and will keep you to account as much as possible!

Having said that, I love Shiny's philosophy of budgeting. I do think it's great to leave a little room for "wants" and some of our "wants" are slight.

Lucy

Veteran

Good luck Deborah, it sounds like you have a few people keeping an eye on you here!
I'm on a self imposed shopping ban - replacements only - as we are moving in November. We bought a new house, so we currently have two mortgages instead of one! So, no shopping for me. The last time I bought anything was in July, for my birthday. But as we are moving to a warmer climate (Brisbane!) I bought warm weather clothes, planning ahead. Seemed sensible, no?
Interesting how bored I have become this winter, with NOTHING new. I realised last week how uninterested I was in getting dressed, and I put it down to the lack of spark of newness!
It seems to have been a long winter. Hopefully the weather will turn shortly, so I can break out some new stuff!
I guess this is a long post to say some things are worth saving for. But I guess it is a balance between that and the pleasure even just one or two little updates can bring....

gryffin

Veteran

Deborah - I think that's a great approach. I still am on the look out for long jackets since that is what most of my main look is based on and I could use several more. That being said I needed a nice coat and have been looking for several years and bought the Elie Tahari Greece coat (an Angie NAS rec - which ps has disappeared off the face of the earth so I'm glad I pounced!!) which is perfect. This months budget got blown on the burberry cashmere scarf and Uggs gloves to complete that coat capsule. I would have put the gloves off till next month but the gloves are discontinued and it's hard to find gloves that fit and are warm and comfy for me. A priority since I have raynauds and must keep my hands warm. I have a pair and I totally love them. The scarf was a total splurge but it goes with my everything in my very neutral wardrobe, as you can imagine. In the old days I would have cheaped out on the scarf but never been happy with it. Spending more has actually forced me to be accountable so nothing comes in for the rest of the month. I can keep an eye peeled for jackets but must wait, even if I find something. In the old days, because I did not purchase what I really wanted, I would have rewarded myself with something else and probably have spent more. I do think saving for splurges, within budget, as Shiny suggested is a good thing for refreshing but having things you really love makes it easier to say "no" to more "stuff!!"

PS in getting the photos, uggs gloves are now sold out in my size. I would have been so sad to have missed them!!

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Caro in Oz

Veteran

DonnaF's question is a good one, do you have specific things in mind? Do you have all your basics or are you looking to upgrade any of them?

Agree 100% with Shiny too - the wants are what make our wardrobes ours imo.

Deborah

Veteran

Thanks for the support everyone, I very much appreciate it.

Further to Shiny's comment which I do agree with, the purpose is not to deny myself, its more a lesson in self management and discipline. I didn't want to get too deep and meaningful but I want to eliminate (what are for me) wasteful and unnecessary purchases. I am definitely heading towards the smaller, minimal wardrobe. For example, I don't want a wall of necklaces. I want 3 or 4 that are totally fabulous that I adore so much I struggle to decide which one I will wear today:) For me, the whole process, basics, foundational items, statement pieces etc is fun. I enjoy my wardrobe and the process of developing and evolving my wardrobe so much that if I were to share a list of my hobbies and interests, it would be right at the top.. in fact it might be the only thing on he list lol. But I want to stop shopping just because I FEEL like something new. That is no longer sitting well with me. For me, budget allowing, that is ok sometimes but I do it often. I honestly don't need or want so much stuff. I have also noted that I am getting so much satisfaction from the items that I consider carefully, often taking time to save for and are of a superior quality.

Donna and Caro asked about my wants:) Well the things I would like for the coming season are:

Culottes
have not yet found the culottes I would like.

Harem Shorts
I really want a pair of RO harem shorts but the ones I want don't seem to be available any longer. I have good pictures and am considering asking my dressmaker if she thinks she might be able to replicate them or at least create something very similar.

New Open Toe Shooties (to replace my old ones)
Haven't found ones I like yet.

and I would like to buy a Rick Owens Lilies Tunic or dress. I have my eye on a couple but not sure which yet. If I managed my spending better this is not beyond my budget:)

Ok, so there it is.

And thank you again, and feel free to check in and keep me accountable.

You are awesome and I really appreciate you.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I fully support your efforts Deborah - especially since I want to see you in all the items you just listed. Lots of little impulses or one RO dress could be your mantra!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Fab list Deborah. I feel I have a much better idea of your goals after reading your response

Deborah

Veteran

Shevia, exactly

Caro, thank you. I wasn't sure how much to share in my initial post. I wanted to be very careful to make sure that it was understood that this is simply how I feel and the direction I want to go in and I totally respect what works and the choices of other. For me the constant shopping and what I feel is 'excess' is just not making me happy

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I understand & have similar feelings

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Deborah, I am right there with you in wanting to be less impulsive on a regular basis with my shopping. Best of luck!! (having a wardrobe you're mostly content with sure helps doesn't it??)

gryffin

Veteran

Deborah - I your thoughts really resonate with me. I tend to be an outfit repeater so a few things that I reallly love vs a larger choice, but not all perfect, really speaks to me personally. The only problem I have with this is the duplication issue. If I keep it small and really love it the pressure to duplicate reasonable pieces becomes intense. I think you are more adventurous than I am so it might not apply to you, but I have yet to master that particular balance. I love the idea of planning and saviing up for that really special piece to keep your fashion focus. Can't wait to see you in RO!!

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