A thought on body perceptions - YouLookFab Forum

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A thought on body perceptions

Mochi

Veteran

At least in terms of comparing ourselves to others?

This past weekend I was at a tango performance, having been asked to take pictures.

One of the women (there were four couples--all professional dancers and teachers) came out particularly gorgeous. I mean, her cheekbones, her proportions, in the pics she was stunning and radiant. The other women were attractive and I caught the beauty of their moves, but this woman was luminous.

And in real life I take weekly classes with this woman (who is a lovely person). She is very slight and her build is straight and she's extremely slender (healthy, though). She would not attract undue attention in real life. But put her in a dress and place a lens on her, and she becomes the universal ideal woman. It was fascinating to see.

In part of me realized that against these images, the rest of the 98% of us could not compete. To look that great in a pic, by these accepted standards...well, it makes sense that these supermodels are really really really tall,and hardly weigh anything. The rest of us--we are not going to present those lines.

I'm not sure how much it's helped me, lol. But it does make me think.

Urgent

24 replies

Latest reply was from em

Anonymous

I have seen myself that angular often photographs well. And that attractive IRL doesn't always translate best in photos. I'm sure there's a scientific reason to it all, but I don't know it.

For me for everyday life when I'm taking pics, I love to see a real joy in the face. And I want the picture to recall a moment that brings good thoughts to mind.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Ah, this is why most models are skinny and have very defined features and angles. What is beautiful IRL and what photographs well can be two very different things.

Mochi

Veteran

To be clear, she is certainly attractive IRL but within the pics, she was transformed into THE ideal woman, some sort of standard. That is what's amazing.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Well, a photo kind of does that automatically, in a way -- because it "frames" the subject and by doing that suggests that the photographer is establishing some standard. This is why photographs of all kinds of people can help expand our notions of beauty. Still, I hear you -- this particular woman was more photogenic. Absolutely, some people are, more so than others. The camera does love angles and also skin that reflects light.

Peri

Veteran

Yes, I read that somewhere...the rest of us are judged against 2% of the population or something like that. The impossible "standard".

Anonymous

I dislike the way I look from the side now that I've gained some unwanted pounds. I try to keep it in perspective, but it's not easy. It's a standard I have set for myself, though.

Runcarla

Veteran

Well, knowing how difficult it is to continuously present well in photographs, it never ceases to amaze me how lovely so many fabbers look in their WIW's. Without poses or fancy lighting, and snapped on the go...often with a phone or iPad.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Heh, Carla, I have come to realize I look WAY better in my WIW snaps than in candid photos shot by other people. I think I might have a skinny mirror.

Vildy

Veteran

When I was younger, I always pined to look like those gazelles who were models. I thought.... If only I were thin enough. Then one day I read a book where the author explained that she herself finally realized that it would never matter how thin she could be because she didn't have the same bone structure. It's not the flesh, it's the bones. Oh! Same case with me. Besides not possibly being able to grow 10 or 12 inches, I have very sturdy big bones. I'm never going to look delicate and fragile, never going to have graceful long fingers, never going to have exquisite slender ankles, swan neck, coltish long legs.... It was never going to be possible to DIY myself into something I could never be because I was built for something else.

Mochi

Veteran

I KNOW I do, Janet. Not joking!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Vildy, IKWYM. I'm not particularly large-framed -- just the opposite actually, which is why it is really hard for me to pull off carrying any extra weight. However, I was still in my teens when I realized that my actual hip BONES are set wide. I will NEVER look like one of those lovely slim-hipped models no matter how much weight I lose because the actual structure of my body will not allow it. When I take the emotional component out if it, I can actually be fascinated with how varied the human species can be in build.

Vildy

Veteran

Janet, I translate everything in terms of dogs. In a dog show, it's how well that dog conforms to the standards of its own breed and even so, it is which dog is best on *that* day. So you've got a combo of physical variability plus what the day brings. Some days the bones in my feet hurt, some days I'm bloated for a few hours, some days I feel anxious over something and have to keep straightening myself from an unconsciously hunched protective posture ... And so often, even with the dogs, personality trumps almost everything. There's hardly anything that's better for our looks than confidence and friendliness/openness.

I remember in college I was in an auditorium awaiting the start of some program and I saw a young man enter and he was so perfectly beautiful that he was like a statue. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of life a person like that has. In time, it turned out that he was a new friend's roommate. And he was vapid. Now, he didn't have to be, I know. But he was and he had pretty much the same student life and girlfriend troubles as anyone else. So I guess it's what you do with what you have.

ETA: and how could I forget that one reason I noticed him in the first place is that he wore a black wool cape. ahahaha Pretty sure the school had no drama major.

rachylou

Veteran

Nothing looks the same in photos. Hi def is the worst. I was looking at one of my mags and saw a high def photo of Ellen Degeneres. I was like whoa! It made her look like she had crows feet like the Grand Canyon. It was crazy. Photos can show you a lot, but they can also deceive. And camera presence is another thing. My brother did test shots of Lilypup. She's dead on camera. But Seamus (pronounced 'See-muss' by the lady at the shelter, hehe) - most annoying dog in the world - fantastic on camera.

RobinF

Veteran

Very interesting. I have watched America's Next Top Model, and a lot of the girls who took the most beautiful photos were actually quite homely when not in makeup and fancy costumes. It really was a lot to do with bone structure and knowing how to move for the camera. Of course, they were all very tall and thin as well.

catgirl

Veteran

Here is an unfortunate picture of me and some other normal people walking into the Vanity Fair Oscars after-party behind HEIDI KLUM. This was pre-YLF. Please ignore how terrible I look. We were all trying to walk by really fast so we would not be photographed looking like hobbits behind a supermodel. Obviously that didn't work out - in fact, I ended up crashing into OMG Sir Elton John! - but that's a different story.

The thing is, up close she is has crazy long legs and a small torso, like a rangy giraffe. And of course she is tall. As you get further, the illusion kicks in and she looks perfect. And as you get closer the proportions look really off. She is stunning but not at all in the way I imagined - it's more like seeing a unicorn.

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Ginger

Veteran

How interesting! My sister-in-law (and her young daughter) are truly photogenic - and she's nowhere near being angular, or tall, or anything like that. She doesn't wear much makeup at all, her coloring is regular Midwestern brunette, and her hair is long and straight and usually back. And she doesn't take a bad picture! Snapshots and posed alike, she just looks great. My mother and I just look and wonder.

Mochi

Veteran

Your story made me laugh out loud, Una!

catgirl

Veteran

That was the goal!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Una, that's hilarious. What did Sir Elton say or do?

You know what? That dress emphasizes Heidi's little belly.

Ooops! I was being a mean girl.

She really does look like a giraffe. Right down to the long false eyelashes. One of those eyelashes is probably as long as one of my fingers. It's all a question of scale.

rachylou

Veteran

Gosh, I never realized how big Heidi is. Milk-fed big. Reminds me of when I saw Arnold Szhwarzenegger (I so can't spell that), only it was the reverse: he's a tiny little thing, lol!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

A tangent, I know, but…related to how different public figures can appear IRL. My husband was surprised when he met Bill Clinton how small Clinton is -- he always seemed like a larger-than-life man, but in the photo Jamie has with him, Jamie towers over him even more than I expected.

ETA: I just googled his height, and it says he's 6'2"! Maybe he's lost height since then...

catgirl

Veteran

Rachy she's also closer to the paparazzi than us - the right/front is for A listers, the back for B and below....

Sister says Prince and Madonna both tiny too.

rachylou

Veteran

You know who appears IRL like he seems? Steve Young, the football player. Maybe because what you see in tv is live at game, with ordinary people always.

em

I have always thought that beauty was 98% grooming.

IRL I am quite ordinary. My facial features do not fit anyone's ideal of beauty. In middle school, someone used to call out "Horse Face!" when I passed. But now, when I dress up--either black tie or power suit--it becomes a whole new ballgame. And I swear, it is just the clothes, hair & makeup. I had a young teenager working behind the espresso bar blurt out, "You're pretty" when I stopped by wearing a killer black suit. I wanted to hug that child and whisper that any insecurities she has about her appearance were all in her mind (particularly I thought she was much prettier than me.)

Someone said once...maybe here...that the best way to view yourself was through the eyes of your loved ones. Works for me!