A hopeless ca - YouLookFab Forum

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A hopeless ca

Jinxy

Hi everyone

I hope this doesn't seem weird. I am blind, I lost my sight in 1998, it's ancient history, don't worry about it, not a big deal etc. I live in the southeastern UK and work as a musician. A really good and long term friend of mine said today that my boots were "really 90s." She meant it as a compliment but it made me think. I've tried not to end up in a time warp, and I don't want to dress too young. I was 19 in 1998 and that tells you how old I am now. I am lucky enough to get asked for ID when I buy alcohol even now, but I suspect that is because I am five foot one. Tiny person alert.

Work is very casual, but it helps if you turn up looking together. Sort of professionally casual. I am desperate not to look look weird or disabled as you can imagine. I had sight for 19 years and I know what a lot of disabled people look like. Obviously it's the last thing you want especially when you are self employed and people need to think "oh she's a reasonably together human being". But I can't keep wearing skate sneakers and baggy cargo pants forever. I keep getting compared to Avril Lavigne which I guess is sort of a back handed compliment!

Sorry if this just seems like venting. You are probably thinking "why doesn't she just ask her friends" and I do, I just don't want to become a pain. I thought maybe here would be a good place to discuss it. Hope that's okay and I'm not a pain!

Jinxy

General

21 replies

Latest reply was from Jinxy

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Welcome Jinxy!
We have had other blind members, so don't think you are being a pain. I'm sure that we can help you out.

Joyce B

Veteran

Welcome, Jinxy! You came to the right place, you will get the best advice on this forum as Angie and many of our fabbers will surely have helpful ideas for you.

Anonymous

Welcome, Jinxy!
Have you thought about the types of things you'd like to wear?
For work, one idea would be to dress up just a tiny bit more by wearing some dark wash jeans and maybe some daintier footwear like pointy ballerina flats. That's just one idea though, and you'll have to figure what you're comfortable in.
Have fun in YLF. I'm sure you'll get some great advise.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

What chewyspaghetti said! Welcome. It will be especially helpful if you can post some photos of items or outfits you have questions about -- then Angie and the rest of us can give you feedback and ideas.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

And another welcome from me, Jinxy. I echo all the ladies here, and have a few blind clients too. You are in good hands.

Jinxy

Oh, wow, thanks for your replies everyone. The title was actually supposed to be "a hopeless case" sorry! Photos are not easy to do myself, I'll ask the S.O. to see what he has. Maybe we could start with what I'm wearing now?

Skirt is "seasalt roskestal." It's above the knee on me (I'm five one, about 110lb) This is the UK and it's winter, so black tights. Americans would call these "opaque hose" probably. Boots are "dune rover grey wedge." My problem is always tops, I am a fan of body suits in basic colours and throw stuff over the top. I have a black jacket I really like which is a "j crew schoolboy blazer" I got in the USA. I have problems with getting jackets that have the waist in the right place and I had this one taken in a bit.

The problem with work clothing is if I'm on something like a stage show, which I have done recently, we are expected to wear blacks and I usually just end up with something like this jacket over a black T shirt or body suit, with black jeans and sneakers. Hardly a fashion parade but it's work and I am standing for 2 hours.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Hello Jinxy and welcime to YLF.

I would ask if you have a good girlfriend or someone you trust to go shopping with. It is alreadu difficult shopping but I'm sure being here will help .

rachylou

Veteran

Hi Jinxy! This is a great place! And it's always helpful to get an outside opinion. Your outfit above sounds solid to me. Do you have any thoughts on how you'd like to come across? Like, what sort of music do you play, who's the audience?

L'Abeille

Veteran

Welcome jinxy!

If you're a musician and used to dressing in black, I suspect you've already got some "cool factor" that most of us would need to work hard for. And throwing a blazer over black jeans and sneaks sounds to me like the epitome of chic. All you need is to choose the direction or flavour you would like to add--polished, minimalist, boho, rocker?--and YLF peeps can help you get there.

Can you recall a style icon from your sighted years -- not necessarily a musician -- someone whose style you would have loved to emulate? (Maybe not; I admired Katharine Hepburn as a teen but it took decades to recognize her as my style icon.) A sense of how you would like to see yourself is a place to start.

Style Fan

Veteran

Welcome Jinxy! I am happy you are here. YLF is a great place.

cindysmith

Veteran

You're in the right place. These fab folks have always had helpful tips for me, and they don't mind sharing them. Welcome!

Jinxy

Aw thank you guys.

I am so happy nobody said "nix the boots," I love those boots! You can only see about six inches of knee between them and the skirt so it's warm enough.

I am actually not a fashion person at all and because most of my friends aren't either, this sort of conversation usually ends really fast. Even if the S.O. liked clothes I wouldn't want to keep asking him.

A style icon huh. When I was a kid I used to like more of the 1940s stuff, everything from the big boxy suit era. It's probably why I wear jackets so much now. I mean today wasn't a very formal Sunday, we went out for lunch so I didn't want to look a total disaster, but otherwise it was a slobbing around day so I took the jacket off a lot. I wear jeans a lot to work as I am generally traveling around. I wouldn't mind finding a way to look a bit more feminine. But that fights with the jackets. The jackets probably make me look like a schoolboy.

Perhaps I need to stop wearing jackets. And I cant wear heels when I'm working, whereas I wear them absolutely constantly when I can because otherwise... well five foot one, you know.

To all the people thinking musicians are cool I say this: I play bass guitar. There is no dignity when your instrument is larger than you.

Sisi

Veteran

Hello Jinxy and welcome! You are in the right place. You will receive a lot of helpful suggestions here.

Summer

Veteran

It's lovely to have you on board, Jinxy! As others have suggested, ask plenty of questions, and, if you wish, ask friends to take photos of your outfits for us. You'll get lots of genuine, helpful feedback here.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Welcome, Jinxy! I can't add too much to what others have suggested yet but I look forward to getting to know your style!

shedev

Veteran

Jinxy, What kind of music does your band play? My sister is a 5'1 bass player too. She looks plenty cool. She is playing in a Fleetwood Mac/ Heart cover band, so Boho looks work for her stage looks. I don't think that you have to give up jackets, you could look for more feminine cuts if you like. I'm 4'11, so I can relate to your fit issues. You've come to the right place, YLF is great for helping people put together their look.

ClaraT

Veteran

Have you considered hiring a stylist?Angie occasionally does posts highlighting her clients. They tell her what they like and hate, what's practical (and not), wardrobe holes, etc. and she shops with them. This might be a bit of a pain the first time (finding a good fit, $$ for them to get to know you and what you like) but after you find someone it could be an efficient way to manage your wardrobe. Friends are good, but they love you and love what you look like already so are less objective (in my experience), though they are a good back up for keeping things "you" and on track.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

What everyone else said.
Also, accessories can be a fun and inexpensive way to change your style.

Sal

Veteran

Welcome Jinxy!!

I like the sound of your current style but here are some ideas:

Black flat brogues/oxfords with black tailored pants and a black polo or turtle neck top
Straight or skinny jeans with the same shoes and a black jacket and maybe a tee shirt with a logo
Tunic or shift dress, black tights and your current boots.

I honestly think the main thing to current style is having a good hair do and great shoes. The hair do might be a pony tail every day or a bob, but I would make sure it is a style that suits you and is easy to maintain. Luckily at the moment flats are probably cooler than heels and there are lots of styles from sneakers, to boots, to brogues to loafers with all sorts of funky soles and laces etc.

If hair is not your thing, glasses, bags and hats can also add a lot. I feel much happier when I have a beanie that I like!!

Nice to meet you.

deb

Veteran

Welcome to YLF!

Jinxy

Thanks for the replies, everyone. Wait what, I can wear loafers again? Great, I love loafers! Why was I not told, grumble grumble.

Also I notice elsewhere on the site that you don't have to worry about your thick socks showing over the top of your boots anymore. Again, why did nobody tell me this! Friends who needs em eh? I usually do this because otherwise I get cold feet, not because the boots are too loose.

Oh how I love you guys. I should say though, I feel a bit inadequate because I'm not going to be able to get very involved on this forum with other people as I just can't see what you're talking about. Sorry if I seem selfish.

To answer a couple of questions. I tend not to do a lot of accessories because I'm often carrying a lot of stuff. Often that means music stuff but I'm almost always carrying a guide cane (that is, white stick) and I have a bunch of widgets, dictaphone and a keyboard and headphones for my phone so I can actually use it. Being blind is where: you can't use touch screens and all your personal technology talks at you and goes bleep.

As to hair. I have straight dark hair which reaches about to my shoulder blades. Ponytail or ponytail. People ask 'you're blind why do you have a pencil' and I say 'so I can put my hair up'. My mom is from an Italian American family and I got the hair. If I wore a beanie hat my hair would be five feet wide when I took it off.

To shedev, I'm not really a band player. I sometimes play with bands if they need a bass player for an event and I have a couple of band clients who I love very much, but I'm not strictly a member. Many bands work like this, they're made up of a group of freelancers. One of them is a U2 cover band which is good fun. Mainly I'm a session player, which means everything from advertising jingles to movie music. I've done video have stuff. Recently I did several weeks on a stage musical which was crazy hard. I go where the work is.