A difficult closet cleanout - YouLookFab Forum

I know this post may be a little hard to think about, but I just got a call from a man whose wife recently passed away, and he is looking for someone to go through her clothes to determine "what to do with them." Of course, I am going to help him, as I feel this is way of helping him move forward. Once I parse through her closet, there are women's resale shops for sellable items, as well as estate jewelers, and even a Hospice Thrift Store for donations.

I was wondering if anyone has any pearls of wisdom to guide me through this (first time) process. I am a style consultant, and am very good at closet audits and finding the gems that women sometimes don't even realize they own! I can't tell you how many times, once I have determined her color palette, I put together fabulous outfits that she never even considered! But this is different...I imagine that many of her pieces have memories attached, and he may find it a difficult experience.

Any advice or a sharing of your experience will be appreciated. Thank you.

9 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

I would say think of sisters, children, grandchildren, daughters-in-law - and sons too who might want a memento.

Also, for next of kin it can simply overwhelming. Not always a matter of memory and sadness, but exhaustion, to take care of all these details. It's one of those times when it's good to have someone else trustworthy to do the thinking, because you're so tired.

Kristin SF

I echo Rachy. When my MIL's friend passed away, the husband asked my MIL to come over and pick some special pieces from her closet. It was a nice way for my MIL to remember her friend.

Thus, as you review the closet, set aside the special pieces that you find, and ask your client if he would want to offer those items to close family and friends.

Is he doing the review with you? It would be good for him to pick out the truly special items in advance, before you even get there, but as Rachy said, he might not be in the right place to do that on his own.

rabbit

What a sad but necessary service. My gut instinct would be to try to sit with the client for awhile if possible and just listen to him, see if he can articulate exactly what he needs from you and how he would like the task carried out. That might not be an option or he might have trouble articulating it, but would give you a framework to ask questions like Rachy and Kristin suggest or he might be able to appoint another friend or family member who could look through before the sort and might be able to pinpoint things to save for memory reasons.

Suz

(website)

Difficult indeed. I think rabbit's right. Just sit and listen first to see what his needs are. Definitely save some items for family members.

Truecolors

Active Member

Thanks ladies. Good advice. I had a talk with him via telephone and tried to ascertain what his needs and desires were, but he really sounded unsure. I will definitely find out if there are family members who may enjoy the special pieces. I assume he is hiring a professional because there are no females in the family (close by) to handle this task.

So, I will first listen, find out if there are any family members who would enjoy some of the pieces, then dig in and sort what's there. As we spoke on the phone he seemed to remember some items in other rooms that he would consolidate. We're meeting next Friday. Sigh...wish me luck!

abc

Perhaps this idea could be translated into a woman's pieces or clothing, but when my father passed away, after some time passed and it was time to clean out the closet, my mother, a seamstress, chose the most sentimental pieces and made a patchwork quilt for each of us kids. It is one of my "if the house was burning what would you grab" items. Good luck.

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