Double post! Oops

I don't know, I think we need to assess why we are comfortable, if it is because we know our mind and preferences that's fair enough but if it is because of a fear of change it may be time to re-evaluate.

Again, I REALLY resonate with Jules's comment (Jules is RoseandJoan). Jules, it's wonderful to have you back on the forum.

I am assessing my own needs for physical and mental comfort. I think a bit of discomfort (physical and mental) is a good thing. Just like a little extra strain in a Yin yoga class is good as you push yourself to get deeper into a pose, and healthy competition is good. It keeps us on our toes and makes us grow. Like I said in my original thread -"are we getting too used to comfort?" - I mentioned that I don't want to get too comfortable because there is something about it that's just too easy. And too easy for me means I won't grow (I also feel undisciplined and lazy when things are too easy - is that completely bananas???). Perhaps this is a personality thing, I'm not sure. We are all wired the same and also very differently.

So, as shallow and ridiculous as it sounds, a pair of cropped pants can make you grow as a person because personal growth is an organic process with many nooks and crannies. Trying a new trend can be one of those very small nooks.

I'm like that too Angie ... I feel lazy when things are too easy. But sometimes I think I make things too hard! It's a balance, and I'm sure it's different for everyone even though we are surely all somewhere along the same spectrum ... One thing I will say is that it doesn't sound shallow or ridiculous at all. We all approach our life journeys differently, and I'm sure we all have our "small things that are really big thing" its all good and, as always, enlightening to read all the different viewpoints

Also, rose, yes I agree, if a comfort decision is really a fear decision, its time to stand up and slay the dragon. Or the cropped pants!!

Thanks for validating that there is some method to my madness, Helena.

This discussion is getting more and more interesting.

Can I just add, while I agree with much of what has been said about the life-affirming, positive aspects of change, the process also has its darker side. Change that comes from a desire within--"Yes! I'm going to try it!"--isn't the same as change being driven by a fear "If I don't try this, I'll be scorned for not trying."

While we need to push ourselves, it's equally important to recognize our preferences and choices are what make us unique. Nudges to change can come from many sources, but, ultimately, I'm the best person to weight them in the context of when, where, and how I need to change. Right now, it seems right that my choice for discomfort will come in the shape of a sea kayak and open water. For that, my preference is for pants that are tried and true instead of trendy. As Angie points out, we all have our niches. What I hope, though, is that the fashionable ladies who see me in those non-trendy pants will understand why a greying older lady prefers to take her risks this way instead of in her wardrobe.

Gear is gear, and totally necessary. I'm thinking more of another graying lady I love dearly who hadn't updated her style in about 30 years? She was still wearing some cotton tops I'd worn in middle school and that she found practical and liked the the color of. She really enjoyed me playing stylist in her closet and a shopping trip after which her self-esteem for visual presentation (she's very confident in other areas) went up. She said she felt 'hip' while still feeling physically comfortable in her favorite colors and fabrics.

Before YLF I'd also gone a reaaally long time without questioning or exploring my style -- it was comfortable, and I felt like myself -- but I wasn't really recognizing that 'myself' had changed too over time. It was liberating and uplifting to embrace the changes.

For me it's great to celebrate ones eccentricity and uniqueness and the tried and true, but there is also a pleasure in living in time, in being part of a social moment--whether it's in media, in clothes, in food, in which discovery and change is constant.

I guess I think that it's not so much about chasing trends each season (although for me it's fun to explore the new possibilities while being mindful of time/money/consumption), but checking in at least once every 15 years to the details, because our bodies aren't the same, our hair isn't the same color or texture, what fit us psychologically like a glove in the past, might just be familiar, but not quite the best solution in the present moment.

Gaylene - Just wanted to chime in and say your thoughts always resonate with me. A big yes, yes, yes!! from me!!

Angie, I very much relate to your last response! I am also not my happiest when things get too easy. Maybe that's why I've had a few careers already in my life.

Gaylene, I think one of the key differences in this approach to change and comfort is whether it is driven by inner or outside forces. I *know* when I'm getting too comfortable -- it actually starts to spur a discontent, so it becomes *uncomfortable* LOL! That's when some evolution is in store. The inspiration may be sparked by an outside occurrence (I started running on a whim after seeing that a friend of mine was training to walk/run a half marathon), but the actual impetus for change comes from within. The outside influence must be a catalyst for my readiness for something different. I hope that makes sense. I think that also may be the case for someone like Angie who very clearly has a strong sense of herself but is poised for change when the inspiration strikes.

Such a thoughtful and thought provoking thread. We all probably have different degrees of psychological comfort with the routines of living our daily lives - and that informs how adventurous we might be. Everything from the route we take to work, school, the grocery store - to the food we eat, the music we listen too, the books we read, - even what we do when we take a break from the norm, like a vacation. Everything is an opportunity for choice, but not every opportunity HAS to equate with change. Fashion is no different.

I suspect I have a fairly wide comfort zone. I've shaved my head, worn black lipstick, have homemade tattoos, worn menswear and children's clothing. I go on backpacking trips where I wear the same clothes for weeks, if not months, at a time (hey Gaylene, I'm up for sea kayaking anytime!). I think my tolerance for boredom is lower than my tolerance for risk.

That said, I've also reached a point in my life (toddler, dog, rural house, garden, covered in mud and fur and paint and flour daily) where I rather like my clothes to just get out of the way, so I don't have to worry about them. I can't say that I've become a uniform dresser, but I do spend less time fussing or playing dress-up than I used to.

I'm certainly aware of the psychological impact my clothes have on me. I've hardly worn a dress or skirt this winter. I used to be all about mini-skirts, funky tights, leg-warmers, etc. But I like the sense of strength/sturdiness I get from wearing jeans. Finding ways of keeping a jeans-based wardrobe from being totally boring has been one of my challenges/goals of late.

La P, I can relate to your feelings about boredom vs. risk, and also skirts in the winter! I just feel too, I dunno, precious in a skirt for my casual day-to-day life. I even started to put one on to go to an art function the other night and ended up changing into…jeans and a funky jacket. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily. There is no rule that says a woman needs to wear skirts in the winter or any other time. So I've been attempting to embrace a variety of jean silhouettes -- skinnies, boyfriends, flares, crops -- for my jeans-based wardrobe too.

I love these thought-provoking threads and also the ability we have as a group to disagree in such a way that it moves the discussion forward rather than in circles. It's amazing.

Janet, your comment really resonated:

I *know* when I'm getting too comfortable -- it actually starts to spur a discontent, so it becomes *uncomfortable*

Yes. That's the line I suppose I am trying to walk!

Gaylene, absolutely! I think we should reserve our judgement about who is too comfortable and not comfortable enough and what-have-you to our own situation and not project it onto others (unless of course they have asked for that feedback). We're all walking our own walk.

Angie, most definitely - we are all here because there is plenty of valuable method to your whole enterprise! Actually what sparked this whole thought process was trying to listen to my emotions re: my style choices ... and pondering what comfort is trying to tell me. It's a thought path I wouldn't even be on without your guidance!

Rabbit, you are a wise lady. Loved your comment.

Gaylene, it would be unstylish of you if you didn’t wear the right garb kayaking in the open water! As Rabbit says - gear is gear.

Gryffin, I love how you stick up for our inner selves. It’s always a good perspective, and you know that I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE that we listen to our feelings and emotions. As Gaylene said, it's important to recognize our preferences and choices that make us unique. THAT is at the core of our style.

Janet, HIGH FIVE. We see completely eye to eye here. YES! I am uncomfortable when things get too comfortable. That’s EXACTLY it. I’m soooo pleased that you get what I’m feeling!

I am not seduced by trends - or anything else for that matter - when I do not want to be. I can be extremely stubborn. I'm also skeptical by nature and naturally quite resistant to change. Perhaps that’s why I’m so very aware of becoming too comfortable (physically and emotionally) - which brings me right back to what Jules said.

GREAT discussion, Helena. Thanks for the kind words, and it sounds like you're enjoying this leg of your style journey. Keep listening to those feelings.

Tomorrow marks the last day of my personal challenge to wear Valentine colors for a week. I don't have too much true red other than outer wear, so this has meant coral and orange in addition to red, with white/cream, wine, and silver as my neutrals. I wear a LOT of gray in the winter, often with black. Coral is a really good color on me as is red if it is not overly saturated but I am feeling SO STRESSED OUT by wearing so much color day after day after day without gray. I never would have guessed that these items in my closet (that I like!) would do this to me. I am looking forward to Monday.

That being said, I think I will do a green challenge for the week leading up to St. Patrick's day. In addition to a citron blouse and an apple green shirt, I have items in forest and beluga green which on me are dark neutrals and more in my comfort zone. I will also permit myself to wear gray, black, navy, ink, and denim so I think this will be more in my comfort zone.

I guess since I'm so new at this and am finding it all so exciting after being so totally oblivious to fashion for so long that the problems many of you are having with comfort seem alien to me. Interesting comments and maybe a break would be helpful. I know I have one every year when I live in hiking pants, tees, and fleece for 3-4 months.

For me personally, comfort is good most of the time, but a little discomfort every now and then is the only way to grow. Sometimes I'm uncomfortable trying a new combination because it's really different from what I'm used to/drawn to but after a day in it, it becomes mine, and then it's comfortable. Experimenting isn't comfortable, but it keeps things interesting.

Loving this thread!

Psychological comfort is every bit as important as physical comfort to me. I tend to stick with what works for me, and any changes happen organically and slowly. As with Gaylene and Gryffin, change happens, but strictly on my terms.
I realise that the fashion industry is nudging me along - albeit at snail's pace - but I will only adopt a trend that I know will work for me and my wardrobe. Put me into an entirely new, fashion- forward outfit that is well outside my comfort zone and I would feel extremely uncomfortable and self-conscious. No, I'm all for gradual style evolution that keeps me reasonably current, but I need to feel entirely "me" during the process.

Summer and Kaelyn, thanks for your comments. It got me thinking about the idea of expansion ... Meaning when somone is comfortable where they are, perhaps the next step is expanding where they are stylistically, so inclduing where they are bit making room for the new as well.

We all have to wear what works for us. My DH & I work in a conservative industry and the dressiest we ever have to be on a regular basis is business casual. Some styles would make us look and feel uncomfortable, like we're out of our element. That said, I know that even classic clothing needs updating once in a while, and it's important to keep up with the trends to decide which to adopt and which to skip.

Really interesting post.

The way we see ourselves is deeply importante from a psychological point of view, as inaccurate as it may be. A positive and healthy self-image is the difference between having self-confidence or an eating disorder for example. But I believe the way we build our self-images varies and that changes how we feel about a "comfort zone". Looks like for some people a positive self-image comes from building a specific style with a certain pattern/structure that appeals/relates to them, while for others a positive self-image comes from an ever-changing style where they need to constantly absorb fashion trendies and/or new ideas in their own personal way. And maybe some people feel in-between? I guess "comfort zone" can be all those known things you identify with your personal style or all those known things you need to reinvent, depending on how we deal with this matter.

Personally, I don't feel I should try to use something I don't like because it's in or trendy or new, neither that I shouldn't use something I like just because it's boring or dated. I usually just use whatever I like and makes me feel good as long as it isn't creating me any real problems (by real problem I mean things like missing a promotion or losing your job because your boss doesn't take you seriously and stuff like that, but again I guess what a "real problem" is may vary for each person too).

This and Angie's thread have been a great read. (Who needs books! jk.)

I do think it's important not to get lost in time. I'm thinking about this because I have a lot of work children - from just out of high school and up. The ones in their late twenties are the funniest, to be honest. They talk the most about 'your generation' v 'my generation.' The most about 'their music.' As if anyone stops listening after they graduate high school, lol. As if music stopped developing after they left. Or as if anything from before might apply. The young can be real old fogeys, haha! I wonder how much is due to that final neural bridge being laid down at that age, if you don't feel it - that your concrete has been set.

In any case, if being comfortable means you're trapped in your own little head, I think that's of no service. Because even one's own little world evolves, as Betty sorta said... hehe, Betty would never say anybody's world was 'little'

Rachylou, I love your comment. Yes, our little world evolves, but a lot slower in agriculture and education than in a career in fashion or whatever. I pretty much know what silhouettes work for my body. I can't dress the same way as I did before having 4 kids. Well, maybe I could but I prefer to practice the art of illusion dressing so nobody knows my stomach isn't flat. I can say that YLF has really helped open my mind to new looks. I don't want to get stuck in a rut.

Marina, I love what you said thx all!! Smittie, yes, who even has time for books lol!! Rachy, its true, I.do agree people should be able to approximate what yearbor at least decade one lives in based on clothing!!

Haha. Just a thought... Who here is, oh say, 28? Anyone want to defend my late 20s work kids?

I do have to say, the only time I could ever sing along with the Grammy's was the year everyone was about 27...