About a year and a half ago I began to be concerned with my health. I have been heavy my entire life, and my body was starting to show the strain. I decided that I was not prepared to live with an illness that my weight had caused, and I set about to make changes in my life. I had lost weight before. Five years ago, I lost about 25 pounds. I did it by eating a low carb diet and exercising, but I was not able to maintain the loss.

But I started trying again. The first thing was to have a goal in mind, and that needed to be a big one. At that point (according to every chart or calculator that I could find on the internet) I was Medically Obese – meaning 100 pounds overweight. I figured that if I were 100 pounds overweight, then I should lose that 100 pounds and not be overweight for the first time in my adult life. I didn’t have any experience with normal weight ranges, so I did some investigation on the internet and spoke to my doctor to make sure that was an attainable goal. With assurances in hand, I set about my journey. I set a goal of losing only 1 pound per week, knowing that it would take me two years to reach my goal. I wanted to make slow lifestyle changes and build upon them. I knew that whatever I did to lose the weight, I would have to continue to do in order to maintain it- and maintenance was my ultimate goal.

Weight loss has changed me in ways that I would never have imagined. I have discovered that I have reservoirs of perseverance previously untapped. It has not been an easy journey, and it has not been smooth; but it has been deeply rewarding. I am creating a whole new relationship with food and exercise, and my body as well. I can only hope that when I reach my goal (*when*- not if), these changes will have solidified. I am currently 61 pounds into my weight loss, with 39 more pounds to go. I’ve dropped 6 pants sizes, and about a size and two widths in shoes.

I had always been interested in fashion and clothing, but my weight loss (which was rapid at the beginning) required me to replace my entire wardrobe from season to season. I decided that this was a good opportunity to be a little more adventurous with my choices, knowing that things would only fit for a limited amount of time. I discovered You Look Fab, and began reading it daily. In no time at all, the forum at You Look Fab became not only a source of inspiration, but a sounding board for my changing body. Often, my eyes and brain needed time to catch up with my body. I was not always able to recognize in the mirror what others could see more plainly- be it shape, fit, or change.

I did not just lose weight, but my shape changed dramatically. I had to learn how to dress a completely new body, and discover my style as a normal sized person. The struggle has been as much mental and emotional as it was physical. The wonderful ladies on the You Look Fab forum have been a huge source of encouragement and support through this process, and I continue to cherish their input and feedback on fashion and weight loss as well as other subjects.

Remember that you can read more about Khris on her blog: Chewy Spaghetti.

Power dressing is the type of professional attire men and women wear in corporate and government environments to make themselves look and feel authoritative, strong and capable. In essence, power dressing refers to outfits that make you look and feel powerful.

Most of us don’t work in corporate or government settings, but we all have moments in our day to day lives when we want to look and feel powerful. It often has nothing to do with business meetings and wearing career wear. Power dressing takes on a different meaning in this context.

I have a variety of outfit combinations that make me feel more competent and authoritative. I can’t tell you why they make me feel this way, but it’s definitely the case. Here they are:

• Boots worn with just about anything. I feel like Wonder Woman when I wear boots. (Hopefully I don’t look like Wonder Woman, though).
• Pencil skirts worn with low heels
• Tailored blazers worn with jeans
• Sheath dresses worn with dressy flats
• Skinny jeans paired with voluminous belted blouses and high heels
• A cravat style scarf

As much as I love wearing my suit, I don’t feel particularly powerful in it! Do you have wardrobe items and outfit combinations that make you feel powerful?

I really like blue (think ink, denim and cobalt), paired with black, white and cream. It’s one of my favourite colour combinations, which is why you see me wearing it often. I just don’t seem to tire of it like I do with other colour combinations.

Layering a button down shirt under a sheath dress is a common marriage, so why not pop a denim shirt under a fun polka dot bubble dress? Scrunch the sleeves and add hose, booties, necklace and tote and rock the day the mod way.

This outfit represents another comfortable daytime work look. For my next set of denim shirt ensemble posts, I’ll be putting the oh so trendy and controversial denim on denim look through its paces. I wonder what Jasmine will think of those outfits.

That’s it for this series of denim shirts in dressy ensembles. Which one was your favourite: bubble dress, ball gown, or dressy skirt?

As a humble salute to the incomparable Audrey, I’ve taken one of the dressiest items in my closet and paired it with a denim shirt. How’s THAT for dressing down a formal item of clothing.

My vintage inspired ball gown has a fitted bodice and tulle skirt lining so the only way that I could make the pairing work was by knotting the the front ends of the denim shirt and scrunching the sleeves in true retro 50’s style. I add a vintage handbag, black fishnets and the usual classic pile of pearls. But I kept on my modern specs and watch, and threw in silver wedge, sling-back sandals.

This is definitely a more daring way to wear a denim shirt. I expect it to be an acquired taste. But I really appreciate the contrast between luxurious and rugged items so it works for me, especially if it means that I get to wear my ball gown more often.

The dress code of this outfit is a little blurry. Dressy smart casual or creative cocktail would probably be my guess.

Wearing a denim shirt casually is pretty straight forward because that’s how we expect to wear it. Match it up with non-denim casual bottoms, add a few accessories and you’re good to go.  Flop proof.

But I like my denim shirt best when it’s matched with dressy items. That way I’m dressing the denim shirt up AND dressing the rest of the ensemble down. This is also a great way to stretch the wear of dressy pieces in your wardrobe.

So over the next couple of days I’m going to push the boundaries with some unexpected denim shirt ensembles. I enjoy the contrast that this creates. The interpretation feels new and fresh compared to the way I wore denim shirts back in the 90’s.

For this particular outfit I’ve matched a Gap denim shirt with a fancy sparkly cream skirt, casual studded belt and dressy baubles. I pop the collar and scrunch up the sleeves for extra textural interest. A black camisole picks up the black of the booties and fishnet hose. I tend to feel naked without a pop of colour, but a citron wristlet does the trick.

I wear this outfit on a normal work day, adding a coat, trench or jacket when it’s chilly outside. It might be too dressy for some, but it totally works for me. I guess it’s a smart casual outfit because of the denim element, but in my line of work I’m allowed to break the rules so it will pass for creative business casual.

It’s reached the stage where it doesn’t feel right if I leave the collar lying flat, so I almost always pop the collar of shirts, blazers and jackets. I really enjoy the aesthetic and additional neck coverage. My collars tend to stay put popped because I have a long neck and short hair. These factors do help to make the look work, as does a pretty stiff collar.

I don’t always scrunch up, turn back or roll up shirt, blouse, jacket and knitwear sleeves, but I am doing it more and more often. The scrunch adds a super textural element to your outfit and it’s a great way to make an item elbow length (a very flattering sleeve length).

Popping collars works for all dress codes, from casual right through to formal attire. But scrunching up sleeves does add a more relaxed look to an outfit. So leave your sleeves down if you need to be more formal.

Obviously, when it’s cold, you’ll need as much coverage as you can get. I’ll keep my sleeves long under my coat, but often scrunch them back up when I’m all toasty indoors.

Some effective examples of popping collars and scrunching sleeves.

As a Minnesota resident, I spend a large portion of every year encased in clothing from top to tail. Scarves, turtlenecks, sweaters, heavy wool skirts, tights, and tall boots shield me from the elements, and from September till early May I trundle through my life bundled. But once the weather warms up, out comes my skin. And with it, my tattoos. And with my tattoos, come the comments.

Many, many times, I’ve had people tell me, “Wow, I never pegged you as the tattoo type!” Now, I’ve lived in San Francisco and Minneapolis – both cities where people under 40 who DON’T have tattoos are relatively uncommon – so I inevitably giggle a little. In this day and age, what exactly is “the tattoo type”? On the other hand, I’m a bubbly, mild-mannered, goody-two-shoes in a lot of ways, so I can see what they’re driving at. And I feel a little surge of pride that I’m expanding the views of someone who believes tattoos are the exclusive purview of bikers, criminals, and slackers. (And that my Badass Quotient just went up.)

But I also have been very mindful of the placement of my body art. I have five pieces, and all can be easily covered by clothing, accessories, or shoes. Many consider their tattoos to be integral to personal style and visual identity, and want them seen as often as possible by as many as possible. I don’t. My tattoos are deeply, deeply personal and I don’t actually care if anyone sees them. Which gives me the freedom to hide them whenever I wish without feeling like I’m purposely masking part of my public identity.

I have never shown any of my tattoos during a job interview, and typically keep them under wraps for a couple of weeks whenever I start working in a new office. I allow my coworkers to observe and accept me before introducing my colorful ankle, bright red neck, and star-stamped foot because, although the offices I’ve worked in have always been relaxed and liberal, I accept that some people still think tattoos are trashy, ugly, weird, stupid. And I’d rather surprise them by being that sweet, capable new girl who just happens to have a giant green swirly thing on her calf, than give them the opportunity to form tattoo-centric prejudices. It’s unfair to judge someone with tattoos as a ne’er-do-well or a freak, just as it’s unfair to judge someone who dyes her hair or pierces her ears or otherwise alters her body for cosmetic reasons. But the bald fact is that some people just hate tattoos and the people who sport them. So I’ve always found it easier and more effective to lay some groundwork first before exposing the ink.

I’m lucky to have avoided public heckling, and have only received compliments on my tattoos from strangers. The green guy seems to enchant elderly women, and it’s always fun to see how surprised and delighted they are to actually ADMIRE a tattoo. I don’t generally go out of my way to expose or conceal my ink when I’m going about my business. I never feel slighted that no one can see the two on my back, or worried that the exposed abstract designs will alarm or offend passersby. I can imagine taking pains to disguise my tattoos if I ever attend a fancy dress ball, receive a public honor, or find myself in a situation where they might be more distracting than decorative. But those situations are yet to arise.

I am quite sure that I will get more tattoos in the future, but I can’t say when. I CAN say that I’ll confine them to areas of my bod that are easily covered. Ink is intensely personal, and I respect everyone’s right to expose and be proud. But my tattoos are mine and mine alone, so I’ll always keep them to myself when I feel the situation warrants.

Do you have tattoos? If not, ever considered getting one? Those who have ink, do you feel comfortable showing it at all times, and to all audiences? When you chose placement, did you consider concealment?

Anyone who thinks all tattoos are awful? Or that anyone who masks them is being dishonest? Let’s hear it!

Photos from Sally’s blog, Already Pretty. Be sure to check it out.

For me, adapting your style to your age is no different to dressing for your body type, or your fashion persona, or your lifestyle. Like it or not, things do change as we get older. But perhaps my immersion in fashion and style has desensitized me personally to the factors that make this such a touchy subject for many women.

So recently I have been thinking about why the topic is so sensitive. Here are a few ideas:

• People don’t like to be labeled: Judging people as groups instead of individuals poses problems. People prefer to be judged by their own unique set of attributes as opposed to being lumped into the same box as everyone else. For example, saying that “women over 40 should not wear miniskirts” is far too general. How short is the skirt? What about hose? Are you 41 or 85? And how great are your legs?
• The discrepancy between body and mind: The physical signs of aging start to kick in during our late thirties and early forties. Yet it’s precisely at this age where our intellect and experience really come into their own. Generally, we are happier in our own skin when we become middle aged. We’re more accepting of ourselves, and more crisp in our thoughts and goals. So just as we are becoming more confident, our bodies start to let us down.
• A sense of loss: We can’t get back the years that have passed and realizing that they’re gone is a little sad. In some instances, we’re trying to hold on to our youth by wearing what ladies much younger than us wear.

A further complication is that people have very different points of view on the definition of age appropriate. For me it certainly doesn’t mean that women need to become more conservative and less adventurous as they get older. I love, love, love to encourage women in their 40’s and older to dress youthfully, adopt suitable fashion trends and stay looking hip and cool until they’re 100.

No need to look frumpy at 40 and beyond. In fact, it’s probably the time to look your very best, along with the acceptance that you probably shouldn’t wear things as low, tight and short as you used too.

Why do you think the question of age-appropriate dressing evokes such emotive responses in women?

Why do people ask these questions? Why does it make my clients uncomfortable? And what can they do about it? I’ve thought about these questions a lot.

I think that the root of the issue is that human beings are very good at identifying differences and sometimes these differences make us uncomfortable. In the case of my clients, there are two main reasons that are driving people to ask about their new style:

1. They are dressed differently to other people in their environment
2. They are dressed differently to the way they dressed before

If you are dealing with this issue, it might help to think about which case is the most relevant to your situation.

Challenging the Environmental Norm

A typical example of the first case is the professional technical woman who would like to be more pulled together at work. But the rest of her colleagues, male and female, dress very casually (to put it politely). When she reveals her new style, she will stand out. People will notice her.

Another example is the stay at home mother who would like to look fashionable and cute. But she’s surrounded by women who wear jeans, t-shirts, hoodies and Dansko clogs. When she fetches her children from school in a casual empire cut dress, denim jacket and ballet flats, she too stands out and people notice her.

In these situations my clients have a decision to make. Should they dress down to the norm at work and on the playground, or should they be different? I would love it if everyone could dress exactly the way they pleased, but there are realities here. If dressing up too much will reduce their effectiveness then they need to think carefully about this decision. One thing to do is look at other people who have a higher style quotient than the norm. Are there role models who are effective and stylish?

Changing your Individual Norm

The second case is easier to deal with, and is actually more often than not the real reason for my client’s discomfort. People notice the new her. They see the change and they are curious, or even envious. Here it has little to do with the environmental norm, and everything to do with her metamorphosis. She is changing her individual norm.

In this case, the answer is clear. Persevere! She just has to get through a temporary period of adjustment – for her and the people around her. Most of the time, my clients persevere like troopers and I’m so proud of them as they establish a new norm for themselves. People settle into their new style, expect them to look fab and pulled together, and the questions fade away.

I’ve never been asked why I’m dressed up. I guess that’s one of the joys of being in the fashion industry. People let you off the hook when you’re “dressed up”, no matter what the occasion.

Do you deal with this issue? How have you dealt with it? Do you purposely dress down in order to fit in? Or do you stand your ground and set the stylish example?

Others deal with their blue mood by wearing a colourful dress, bright lipstick, fun shoes, a new accessory or flirty skirt. They dress up, and use their outfit to change their state of mind. Obviously there is no right and wrong — this is a personal thing.

I fall in the second group. It’s all about bright colours, strong colour contrasts and bold patterns. Knowing that I’m making a strong visual statement with my outfit renews my energy levels and makes me feel alive again. I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror during the day and my outfit literally shocks me into a better mood.

The picture above shows what I wore on my second blue day last week. I volunteered at Dress For Success Seattle, so smart casual was appropriate. The checked turquoise and cream retro trapeze coat is eye-catching to say the least, especially when paired with the high contrast backdrop of my black cowl neck tunic.

No more blue days though. I’m back to being my happy self and wearing all sorts of outfit combinations, from the bright and frivolous to the sophisticated and monochromatic. But always having fun with fashion no matter what.