Shopping Rage!

April

That does sound maddening, Angie, even if it’s hard to explain exactly why.

Last time I was in a well-known shop that shall remain nameless but that only sells women’s clothing (not a discount chain, not a place with a children’s section), there were two women shopping there with an entourage of small children. My tolerance for small children is fairly robust, but while their mothers were sequestered in the fitting room, this crew was running wild: in and out of the fitting rooms, peeking under the doors, playing hide and seek, back out into the store, shrieking the whole time. They were completely unsupervised, and at no time did an SA intervene to tell their mothers that they couldn’t be in the store without an adult. It was appalling.

November 10, 2010 at 4:00 am

Laura

(website)

Veteran

The shopper had no boundaries! And you are always so polite and considerate, Angie. Maybe that’s what made you angry. It’s hard not to feel upset when people act entitled – entitled to try on a jacket that was still literally yours, for example. Hugs!

November 10, 2010 at 4:32 am

Tara

(website)

Veteran

Ohhhh poor Angie!

Unfortunately, people can be pretty inconsiderate at times.
Props to you for maintaining your cool.

I dislike it when people are impolite and completely ignorant of how their actions affect others. But I have learnt this is the norm and I need to deal with it calmly.

Well done Sounds like you were assertive, not aggressive. But I can understand the need for a nice cup of tea after

November 10, 2010 at 4:34 am

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Oh Angie, I would also be seeing red, at that point you did not know if you could return the jacket, if not you would have had to peel YOUR jacket off of a perfect stranger. Thank heavens for Earl Grey!

I had struggled to keep my cool in a clothes shop which offered a 30 day money back guarantee. I purchased a dress for Teah but when she tried it on at home I realised there would be no growing room. Off we went back to the store for an exchange and to my surprise, just a couple of hours later, the dress was now half price. I picked up the larger size and approached the counter.

‘Can I have a refund *receipt in hand*’
‘Are you purchasing the same item’ came the response
‘Yes’ I said
‘You can have an exchange’ said the assistant.
‘But you offer a 30 day money back guarantee and I will be out of pocket with an exchange’ I argued.

Guess who won that debate.
If shops just stood by their return policies we would all be happier.

November 10, 2010 at 4:34 am

Queen Mum

Veteran

Wow! Both the shopper and the SA acted sooooo rudely and inappropriately. I don’t think I’d have had the audacity to ask what size an item of clothing was in front of the returner. That seems a bit forward to me. I’d have quietly waited for the return to be completed before I approached the SA to inquire of the size. And even if I had lost my senses and asked in the first place, I’d have quickly relented as soon as you objected. I’m glad you asserted yourself Angie.
I can’t think of any personal shopping rage stories.. I’ll have to check back in if anything comes to mind.

November 10, 2010 at 5:25 am

Barbara

Veteran

Angie, the woman that grabbed YOUR jacket overstepped her manners-boundary! The sales assistant working returns should have NEVER allowed that jacket to be snatched from her hands! She should have set a professional tone right from the beginning of the transaction. The manager ultimately did the right thing. Besides, most stores will take returns without a receipt as long as the tags are still on the garment. I can totally understand why you reacted the way you did. What has happened to civility?

And I agree with April about “children gone wild” in stores. I have rounded up many a store manager to request that the offending kid(s) be calmly corralled and returned to their oblivious mother (or father). Inconsiderate shoppers who happen to be clueless parents sometimes use stores like amusement parks. I would have never dreamed of allowing my toddler son to go wild in public. He knew it wasn’t proper to do so!

November 10, 2010 at 5:35 am

Sara

Active Member

When I was 18 or 19 I worked at the GAP in my local mall. One day during my lunch break I heard that it was the first day of the Victoria’s Secret Semi-Annual sale, and I decided to stop over. The store was very packed, and the customers were being very aggressive, pushing each other with their handbags and throwing elbows. I was trying to work my way out and got caught near the bra section. Two women were arguing over a bra that one had, which the other claimed was taken from her. All of a sudden the one who was reaching for the bra grabbed the other lady by the hair with one hand and punched her in the nose with the other, and I got sprayed with blood. It was disgusting, and I had to go back to work like that. Thankfully my manager at the GAP had heard what happened and she let me take a new shirt to wear for the rest of the night on her account. I have never gone to that sale at that mall again.

November 10, 2010 at 5:51 am

Kari

Veteran

Wow. How infuriating – my blood would have been boiling too. I would guess that you are right that the sales assistant was probably a bit inexperienced and either did not understand why the aggressive shopper’s request was inappropriate until your return was handled, or did not have the maturity yet to enforce boundaries for the other shopper without outright saying “no.”

Good for the manager for apologizing, doing the right thing, and hopefully explaining to the sales assistant how a similar situation should be handled next time.

Most of my retail rage hasn’t had to do with returns – it’s more about how I am treated when I am in the store. For example, I rarely venture into one of my local department stores because I have experienced so much snotty, aloof treatment from sales staff there, and have seen the same thing happen to my mom. I don’t know whether it is a difference in customer service philosophies from the other department stores that I shop, or whether I just don’t look like I should be shopping there, but the attitude is a turn-off and whenever I do go there I am tense because I know it’s very unlikely that I’ll be able to get help if I need it.
(On the other hand, when I DO receive pleasant and helpful treatment on occasion at this store, I make a point to thank the sales person for her courtesy.)

I recently initiated some phone calls about a couple of returns I had to make, one for a defective item, and one that (like you) I hadn’t received the return slip for. In both cases the customer service was stellar – the person I spoke with apologized for the error and stayed on the phone with me to make sure that I received the correct instructions via email. It was wonderful to have the situation handled smoothly, courteously, and hassle-free.

November 10, 2010 at 5:56 am

Kari

Veteran

(RE: Sara’s story – holy moley! That’s absolutely crazy. I’ve heard of that sort of thing happening over the “it” Christmas toy that is in short demand, which is still equally sickening, but to argue over a bra that would probably be available to order outside of that particular store doesn’t even make sense to me.)

November 10, 2010 at 5:59 am

Sara

Active Member

Sorry to double-post. This doesn’t quite count as “Shopping Rage”, but after seeing the posts about children in stores I have to share it. I also worked in a bookstore in the same mall, and one morning just after opening (the week before Christmas, mind) I found 3 children laying on their coats in the back of the store. At first I was alarmed that they might have somehow been there all night, but the oldest one told me that their mother had brought them in when she saw us send up the gate, and told them we were going to watch them that day while she shopped.
I was livid, as was my assistant manager. We were certainly not babysitters, we had a shop to run, and now we were responsible for 3 young kids at the same time?! Messages were announced all across the mall, and no one came to claim the children. After about 4 hours of dealing with mall security, we had to call the police.

While we were discussing things with them, the mother finally showed up. She started screaming and yelling about us not watching them properly because she didn’t see them (they were in the store’s office, being both fed and entertained) and how it was our JOB to watch them so she could shop, so how dare we call the police? She did a lot of carrying on and having a fit, and I was not sorry to see her go, though I did feel bad for the kids. Apparently this was not an isolated incident, because according to mall security kids were deposited in the “quieter” stores often around the holidays by parents who assumed they’d be looked after by the staff.

November 10, 2010 at 6:05 am

Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

Appalling! Complete lack of awareness by shopper and SA. How hard it must have been to stay calm and polite when they were behaving so badly.

Not shopping rage, but yesterday, trying on black boots, the first pair was too tight over my calves and wouldn’t pull up fully. The SA assured me that the leather would stretch, obviously to make a sale – cynically as it could only have been returned for exchange as it was on sale. I was not impressed and will think twice before shopping there again. I have rehearsed pointed comments that I *could* have made, but in the end there is rarely much point in these as I would end up more upset about the situation.

I think we’re cross because we expect a certain level of courtesy and respect in our dealings with others, particularly from those we are effectively paying, just as we are bound by our own standards of respect and courtesy.

November 10, 2010 at 6:07 am

kate

(website)

you have EVERY right to be mad! Until it’s returned, it is still YOUR jacket! Plus, what if she damaged it before you returned it? Unbelievably rude and the sale assistant had no business encouraging the behavior, she absolutely should have been backing you up, letting the other customer know she would find her once it was returned. I don’t understand people. would anyone just go up to a stranger and say “i love your jacket! let me try it on RIGHT NOW!’

ridiculous! My mind is still boggled! I am so very impressed you maintained your composure!!

November 10, 2010 at 6:07 am

Nichole@40daysof

(website)

My shopping rage usually happens when the sales associate continues with projects instead of helping me. It’s like they forget that the reason the store is open and they have a job is the customers. They just want to get their display set and I am an interruption that they ignore. I have worked retail before and I know it’s hard work, but people need to pay attention to the customer. I have started having a word with the manager when this happens. It helps me to remain pleasant and contain my rage, now that I have a plan. And all the managers I’ve spoken with (really only 3) have been polite and aghast at their employee’s behavior. In one particular store, they had all new employees the next time I went in who were far superior to what had been there previously.

November 10, 2010 at 6:09 am

emt

I was out last night at one of the major department stores. In the shoe department (sale in progress) a couple of little boys were running around & yelling. Mom(s) & staff ignoring them. When the boys passed by me, I stepped in front of them & just said “walk – we don’t run in stores.” They walked over to mom & I probably still have the evil eye marks on my back. The kids were ramping back up aboaut the time I left the department – if I’d been planning to stay I would have repeated my actions if they came by again.

Otherwise, around here I usually find the sales staff more than apologetic regarding problems, delays, & rude customers. We live in one of the economically harder-hit areas of the country so the stores are becoming more customer friendly, in my experience.

November 10, 2010 at 6:22 am

emt

LOL – when I wrote up my comment just now, the ad immediately above was for anger management classes!

November 10, 2010 at 6:23 am

Mae

Active Member

Oh yes. There is one particular store that I refuse to shop in again because of the rage I experienced there while trying to purchase some clothes for DS. The line was long and the associates were slow, chatting it up and taking an absurd amount of time for each customer. At one point, I think they had to call a manager to check on something and it was then that I tossed the clothes on a rack and departed in a trembling rage. It was probably an overreaction, and my refusal to ever set foot in the store again is probably an overreaction. But I just couldn’t stand it!

November 10, 2010 at 6:26 am

cloud9

Veteran

While I was 9 month pregnant, I went shopping for some baby stuff. I don’t know why, but there was a line of like 10 people, with a lone register open. After 10 minutes, it became clear that whoever at the register was having problem returning stuff. The clerk was oblivious to the long line. Finally, after about 20 minutes, another SA came to open a 2nd register. And people just swarmed toward there. I was 4-5th in line, but with this unorderly reshuffle, I still was 4-5th in line. Needless to say, I was peeved. So after I got my chance at my purchase, I calmly pointed out that it was improper to what had happened.. if the only register is stuck handling a customer problem, another should be opened, and in ORDERLY manner, instead of letting customers run amok, especially seeing a pregnant woman waiting in line. To me, that’s common customer service and common cutesy. The manager happened to be walking by and just said ‘she was just dealing with a customer’ as if no big deal. Then one of the customer said “i had 3 children, I never needed special treatment for being pregnant.” At that point, I was boiling furious, can’t remember what I said, but stormed out of the door. Being wronged & insulted all at the same time.

November 10, 2010 at 6:34 am

Joy

Veteran

I totally understand your shopping rage and am impressed with your ability to calmly let the manager know how you felt.
I shop for toys for a Christmas charity and very often see children left off by parents in a toy store or toy section to rip toys out of packaging and play. It makes me angry because it costs all of us in higher prices, not to mention putting children in stranger danger. One store has stopped carrying toys for that reason. the damage just wasn’t worth it.
My greatest shopping rage was years ago when living in southern California. DH and I were shopping for Christmas gifts and couldn’t find a price on a sweater we were considering. When we asked the SA, she looked us up and down in an obvious way and told us that we couldn’t afford it. We certainly could have afforded it but I never went into that store again. I wish I’d thought to find a manager!

November 10, 2010 at 6:42 am

Camla

I hate it when sales clerks answer the phone when they are waiting on me and I end up waiting until the end of the call. Also when sales clerks chat with each other and ignore me when they are supposedly waiting on me. This (the latter) happens a lot at the grocery store.

November 10, 2010 at 6:49 am

Jenna

I had a bout of shopping rage when I wanted a store I was in to call another store to see if they had an item in my size in stock. It took me forever to find anyone who worked there, the sales associate I did find stopped to have a chat with another employee before making the call, and then the employee at the other store flat-out refused to check because she didn’t “have time.” I found it completely unacceptable that an employee would refuse service to a customer!

When traveling, I went into another store (neither of the first two) to look for the same garment, and the sales associate there was incredibly helpful. Since then, I’ve made a point to ask for customer relations’ number to commend a salesperson who has been particularly helpful.

November 10, 2010 at 6:54 am

J

I can’t think of an experience of rage, but there have been times when I’ve been rather annoyed. I once found a great print at a home furnishing store. It was the only one so I grabbed it. A woman saw me carrying it and asked where I found it. I told her where, but said I was pretty sure it was the only one. She went off to check for herself, then returned and lingered around me for the rest of my shopping trip making comments like, “It really is a nice piece. I can think of the perfect place for it,” and “What’s the artist’s name? I’ve been looking for something just like this for months.” I cut my trip short and just made my purchase because I wanted to be left alone.

I also find it annoying when a sales assistant tries to talk me into buying something I know doesn’t suit me, or out of a return. And then there’s just bad customer service. There’s a shoe store I used to go to, but the snotty teen-aged staff got on my nerves so much I don’t shop there anymore. I was always ignored and had to chase sales assistants down, even though they were fawning over trendier teenagers who didn’t want to pay the prices but just wanted to try shoes on. If there was no one else in the store the sales assistants just chatted with each other. Once a girl was talking on the phone the whole time I was there! I made up my mind not to shop there again after receiving such consistently rude service.

As for crazy shoppers at big sales – I’ve learned to stay away from stores on sales days. It just isn’t worth the discount if the shopping experience is going to put me in a foul mood for the rest of the day.

November 10, 2010 at 6:59 am

rae

(website)

Veteran

1) Until the return was final, the jacket was still YOUR property, which means…

2) You’re the one who had to give permission to lend it out. The SA had no right to divulge size information or offer to let anyone else touch it. It’s practically like an SA offering up a jacket you’re wearing! Both of them should have asked YOU first!

3) You are under no obligation to lend out your items to a stranger — even just to try on. What if she stained it with makeup and you were unable to return it? You’d be stuck with damaged goods!

In summary, your anger was completely justified. I don’t think I would have been so composed.

I’ve had shopping rage at various Ross stores, for some reason (probably the young, inexperienced sales people). One time, they had no separate line for returns, so I had to wait in a LONG line just to return a single item… PLUS, the end of the line was not properly marked, so people kept unintentionally cutting in line, and nary a SA ever appeared to herd the people in the right direction. Another time, a SA at the jewelry counter skipped over my friend and me to help other customers, even though we were there first — and when she was done with them, she had the nerve to tell us that the jewelry counter was closing, and she couldn’t help us. I don’t think I’ve set foot in a Ross since.

November 10, 2010 at 7:10 am

rae

(website)

Veteran

OMG, Sara’s stories are both so awful! I am glad the cops got called on the mom who abandoned her kids in your store — it’s not even like she told anyone that they were in there… they might have gotten kidnapped by any old weirdo. I hope the police were called in the great bra assault as well.

November 10, 2010 at 7:19 am

Kate

Veteran

Haha, these stories really make me appreciate online shopping! Luckily I can’t think of any stories off the top of my head, but I’ve never had to work retail and just don’t spend that much time shopping in person.

Angie, it really is infuriating when people are completely hypocritical, and it sounds like you handled the situation perfectly. Well done. And thanks for sharing it, it’s good to acknowledge that even the most kind and poised people can get PO’ed.

OH, I have had some rage while dealing with associates over the phone. When ordering bedsheets so that I would have something to sleep on when I moved to AZ, I placed an order during a sale, and soon found out some of the colors I ordered would not ship out for several months. I had to call to change the order. It wasn’t a problem until the salesperson I talked to placed the order to ship to my house in OH instead of AZ. The order wouldn’t arrive until after I had already moved! I thought “oh, just cancel the order,” but apparently their system DOESN’T ALLOW HUMANS TO OVERRIDE THE COMPUTER. The order had been placed on items that were in stock, and so even though they hadn’t pulled anything from the shelves or shipped anything out, it was already too late to change anything. And there was no way to send a note to their shipping center to change the address. Ugh. The system was absurd, and it was the lady on the phone’s mistake that created this probelm. Within a couple weeks of being in AZ everything I needed for my bed was finally here and taken care of, but I certainly won’t be buying from that company again.

November 10, 2010 at 7:26 am

taylor

Veteran

OMG!! I can clearly see this awful scene unfolding!! No wonder you were upset

How unprofessional of the sales associate, and how rude and actually disgusting of the stranger pawing and grabbing your jacket!
That sort of thing rather grosses me out . I know you were thinking “I might have to take this jacket home” Could this woman not put her grub all over my clothing!

People are thoughtless and rude! I see it everyday unfortunately!

November 10, 2010 at 7:42 am

Jenny

Hi Angie –

oh my goodness – I can understand your rage! I would have felt the same way had I been in your situation. I do feel your anger was justified – that shopper was completely out of line!

I admire your self-composure. Unfortunately some of us would have let the moment carry us away. I know I have at times, and regretted it later.

November 10, 2010 at 7:47 am

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

The most angry I’ve been is when I scheduled an appointment with a personal shopper that I had used before. I got to the store and was asked to pick out things and start trying them on. Not ONE TIME did the shopper ever look at the items because she was too busy selling another woman on several very high priced items.
I waited in the fitting room for about an hour and finally gave up. I bought three things, but was so upset that I turned around, went back in, and returned everything.
I haven’t been back since. The worst part is, that as I was checking out, the shopper came out of the fitting room and instructed the sales guy to give her the credit.
Other than that I’ve been pretty lucky. My husband went into a stand alone iconic American brand store to purchase me a generous gift for combined Christmas/Anniversary and the sales people were so snooty and short with him, that I’ve also vowed to never shop there. My husband always assumes the best of people and rarely gets his feathers ruffled, so I know it must have been bad.
The last story was from a home store. I went in to find a certain rug for my kitchen and was told they didn’t have it in stock, and that they could order it for me. I gave them my card, and the woman told me it would take 7-10 days to get it (which would have been later than what I really needed it for) so I said “oh nevermind”. And she said “so you don’t want the rug?” and I said “no”. We talked about it on the way home and I decided to order it using Ebates. After all, I loved the rug, it completed my dining room, and better late than never. So I placed the order.
The next day I saw that I was charged twice. Once AT THE STORE. I called customer service to cancel ONE of the orders and they stopped BOTH orders, so I didn’t have the rug in time for my guests. When I called back to straighten it out, the customer service girl said “this is usually why we tell people to just leave it alone and receive both, and return one”. Ugh! It was a very expensive rug, and I needed the extra cash to fix up the rest of the house for my company. I haven’t shopped there since, either.
This is what makes me so loyal to the shops that treat me (and my money) respectfully. I only shop a handful of stores these days for that reason alone.

November 10, 2010 at 7:48 am

MNsara

Veteran

Angie – I’m so glad you stood your ground! You were reasonable and civil even when the SA and customer were not.

I can understand why your feelings grew – probably from disbelief, to irritation, to rage – because at each exchange the SA & customer were becoming more unbelievable and stepping further over ‘the line’. They NEVER caught on to what they were doing wrong :-\ and that parting shot from the clueless customer would have me seeing red!!

The fact that there were TWO poorly behaving adults(?) to your ONE sensible person would make me need a reality check too. Thank goodness the manager was there.

November 10, 2010 at 7:52 am

MNsara

Veteran

Oh, and, sara – I have to ask what part of the country are those malls in? That’s pretty terrible and I wonder if it’s going on around me too!

November 10, 2010 at 7:54 am

Dawn

I’ve been on each end of the rage meter as a salesperson and customer.
I remember working in a small Italian shoe store many stories of customers letting children play with $500 boots throwing them off shelves and when you ask them not to mothers didn’t understand the big deal. Not until it was there size on display and one had a markings on it because children thought they were a javelin.
As a customer, there are a few stores whose sales assistance who ignores me. Not sure why maybe they think, I cannot afford or wear their clothes. On the other hand, they are too busy talking to each other about “Project Runway”!

November 10, 2010 at 8:06 am

Andrea F.

Member

Isn’t it amazing how far people will go for a thing? I work in retail at the moment, so I’m very aware that your relationship with your clients should _always_ come before a sale. Do SA’s make mistakes? Surely, but what you experienced doesn’t sound like a mistake. It sounds like the result of an attitude of money first and relationship second. So unprofessional. And the shopper? Good heavens, it was your garment! Respect for personal property is such a basic concept that to have it so flagrantly assaulted would make me see red, too! It sounds as though you handled the situation well, Angie. Tea was the perfect choice for cooling off.

I think I am most frequently annoyed by shoppers who reach in front of me with no warning in order to inspect merchandise I’m perusing. Again, it’s the basic disrespect of me as a human that I dislike. Let’s hope for a peaceful holiday shopping season this year!

November 10, 2010 at 8:10 am

Erin

(website)

Ugh. I feel you on this one. I’m a sales associate and I can’t even IMAGINE doing something that rude.
As for the client, we always get a couple that are grabby grabby grabby and they drive me nuts as well.
Good thing you kept your composure, at least there was one adult in the situation

November 10, 2010 at 8:17 am

Barbara

Veteran

Like I said: whatever happened to civility? I worked in retail as a teen and I would have NEVER even considered being even close to rude or snippy to ANYONE, peer or elder!

I considered it an honor to work in that store and learned a lot – about fashion AND human nature. Come to think of it, I don’t remember ever encountering a rude customer OR witnessing a sales associate meltdown while I worked there.

What would Miss Manners think?

November 10, 2010 at 8:19 am

marianna

Veteran

So sorry you had to experience that, Angie. I’d be furious too!

November 10, 2010 at 8:28 am

Samantha M.

My sister in laws mother has no patience at all for rudeness in sales staff unfortunately she doesn’t see it in her self.

Much to my embarrassment I have been our shopping with them and seen her reach over and hang up the phone if a sales assistant has taken too long to serve her because she was chatting on the phone.

November 10, 2010 at 8:31 am

Sparky

Veteran

Oh dear. I have had one instance myself. One was so long ago ~ at least two decades ~ that I do not recall the exact problem or exchange with the cashier as I was trying to purchase a couple of clothing items in a chain store. I do remember it had to do with extreme rudeness. I finally put the items down and said it wasn’t worth it, and walked out of the store without buying.

I think Thunalata hit it on the nail with her remark: “I think we’re cross because we expect a certain level of courtesy and respect in our dealings with others, particularly from those we are effectively paying, just as we are bound by our own standards of respect and courtesy.” In my shopping rage case, it was all about the lack of courtesy and respect.

November 10, 2010 at 8:47 am

Cricket

I can’t recall any rage, but I have felt jealousy while thrifting when I see a great item in someone’s cart, know its the only one of its kind in Goodwill, not even sure if its my size, but still I slyly stalk* the person just to be the first one to pounce on the item if she puts it down.

*I hope, at least, my stalking is subtle enough!

November 10, 2010 at 8:57 am

Srujana

Veteran

I’m sorry to be amused by your stories, but some of them are so horrible that I couldn’t help chuckling over my morning cup of chai…

Angie, I’m with you all the way…it’s very much to your credit that you kept calm in the face of such thoughtless behaviour.

Sara, your stories made me gasp. Completely unbelievable and so sad!

Samantha M, I would’ve *loved* to see the SA’s faces when your SIL’s mom hung up their phone…the action is beyond rude but I bet it was a priceless moment.

November 10, 2010 at 9:01 am

wilson

Active Member

Wow! These stories are incredible!

For some reason I just can’t imagine you reaching over and punching someone Angie!!! That made me laugh out loud. I’m glad (but not surprised) that you contained yourself.

November 10, 2010 at 9:04 am

valleycat1

My most memorable store rage moment was decades ago. At a big box store that I frequented at the time, I spotted a check-out counter with no line. As I put my items on the counter, the clerk accused me (not nicely at all) of cutting off someone else that he thought had been nearer. 1. The other customer disagreed with the clerk. 2. The other customer had a basketful, I had 1 or 2 items. 3. I asked the other customer if she wanted to trade places, she declined the offer. Outcome? the clerk refused to check me out & seemed to expect me to put my items back. So I told him he just lost a regular customer for the store & walked away & let him deal with my items. It was over 10 years before I shopped that store again.

November 10, 2010 at 9:22 am

Diana

What a terrible experience! I would have been super angry too – until you return it, it’s YOUR jacket and nobody has the right to touch it.

My worst shopping rage experience happened in the checkout line at H&M, which is always super long. The woman in front of me had about 15-20 items of clothing, which is a lot, but not very unusual for that store. I had resigned myself to having to wait a few minutes before it was my turn. OK, fine. However, instead of just purchasing all the items, she proceeds to go through them, one by one, looking at the price tag and in some cases even trying things on, right at the register while the totally flustered salesperson behind the counter was trying desperately to speed things up. Seriously, who waits until they are checking out to decide what they are going to buy????

Eventually they opened another register for all the people in line behind her – when I left the store, she was still going through her pile of clothes at the counter!

November 10, 2010 at 9:25 am

Meredith2

I totally understand your anger Angie. This woman totally overstepped her boundaries. With regard to shopping overall however, as a former New York city resident/shopper now living and shopping in Seattle I feel like I’m in heaven. The good news about your experience is that it probably is a fairly isolated incident. Those types of experiences were pretty typical in NY (that is if you could find someone to help you). So, sure, every now and again I get mad about a shopping experience, but mostly I count my lucky stars to be shopping in the Pacific Northwest.

November 10, 2010 at 9:28 am

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Some of these stories (especially from Sarah and Joy) have left my jaw agape!!! Unbelievable!
My shopping rage tends to always stem from the same source, i.e. people assuming that I don’t know what I want because I am blind, or simply not listening to my requests. If I plan to go shopping on my own, I almost always call a store ahead of time to see if it’s convenient for a sales associate to help me, since I know I’m a more labour-intensive customer than someone who’s just browsing on their own. Because of this precaution, I refuse to chalk up these experiences to lack of time, lack of preparation and the like. Several times I have gone to a store looking for, say, a top. I will tell them I want something in a colour other than black or brown, not cap-sleeved and with a lower neckline…and the salesperson will proceed to bring me variations of the things I have asked to avoid. To one associate who kept bringing me brown items despite my explicit requests, I finally snapped and said “what is it about `I don’t wear brown” that you don’t understand?” Her response? “But you should, you don’t know how good it looks on you.” I left immediately…that degree of disrespect is unacceptable. I’m all for people making suggestions, but they must be done tastefully and without making me feel imposed upon, belittled or ignorant. This is why I always make an extra-effort to dress stylishly when I go shopping. If I look like I know what I’m doing style-wise, I get taken more seriously. Sad but true.
OH!! The other pet peeve of my life (which takes on special significance in stores) is when sales associates ask my companion for my opinion on something. “Would she like to see that dress over there?” The typical response is: “my friend may not know the answer, but I certainly do, and by all means show me the dress, please.”

November 10, 2010 at 10:11 am

judy

(website)

Oh, so sorry that happened to you, Angie!

It really was the Sales Assistant’s responsibility to say something like, “yes, it is a beautiful jacket and you’ll be the first to try it on once we complete her return”. Until it is returned, it belongs to you, not to the store!

We can’t dictate how other shopper’s will act, but when you work in a store, you hope to train your staff to deal with anything, and to deal with it well. If anything, you provided yet more training for the manager to include. Sorry it was at an emotional price for you, though! Sometimes things just get under our skin, I know how it is… though no good stories at the moment.

November 10, 2010 at 10:44 am

Loramay

When I was a young bride in the 80’s, my dh bought me a lovely gold watch for Christmas. I took it back to the jewelry store to have it sized, and the manager called a sales associate over to assist me. She was NOT pleased to be taken off the sales floor. The entire time she was helping me, she sighed and groused and looked past me at another couple who were browsing. When they walked out the door, she had the nerve to tell me “You just cost me that sale.” I was floored. The older, wiser person that I am now would have returned the watch and taken my business elsewhere.

November 10, 2010 at 10:48 am

Maya

Veteran

I find it hilarious that of all people, I’M the one who would have kept a cool head in this situation. I get angry VERY easily!

Honestly, it wouldn’t have even occurred to me to get upset. I would have let her try it on and been quite happy for her if it worked out. Maybe if I didn’t get the refund I could have sold it to her!

I’m not trying to diminish your feelings Angie, because regardless, what happened to you was wrong. Obviously it was YOUR call to say no, since it’s your jacket, and that is the crux of the problem: First the SA shouldn’t have spoken for you. At that point it was still your jacket, and she should have either asked you if it was or told t the customer to wait until she processed the return. Not only did she not ask you, but even after you made it clear that you refused, both she and the customer persisted in pressuring you AND behaved very rudely after. Unacceptable.

I’m just saying I personally wouldn’t have said no to begin with, and that amuses me because you are much calmer and friendlier than me. I can be a raggedy b***.

For me, the sense of dread arises whenever I see a woman with a gaggle of kids or a stroller. I’m sure there are lots of good, responsible parents who take their kids shopping without any fuss, but for some reason I never seem to encounter them. I always encounter the ones who let their kids crawl into my fitting room while I’m nearly naked and run amock in the store screaming and making a ghastly nuisance of themselves. Sara’s story disgusted me, but didn’t surprise me.

I also got really angry last time I went to the MAC counter at Macy’s. I was waiting at the checkout counter and there was a SA there who was doing something else–what, I don’t know. She saw me but didn’t bother to ask me if I needed help or call someone else over, even though it was obvious that I was waiting to check out. Meanwhile there must have been 15 other SA’s who walked by and did absolutely nothing. Not a single one even attempted communication.

Then another SA came behind a different register with a customer he had been helping. He checked her out immediately even though I was clearly on line and waiting for an eternity, but I guess she was “his” customer so she got priority. After she was done checking out, instead of helping me, the SA just left! I finally had to go up to the woman who was there from the beginning and request her to do her job.

November 10, 2010 at 11:13 am

mdiskin

Member

As a mom of 3 little kids, the story about the mom deserting her kids in the bookstore had my jaw on the floor. And the other story of the 2 moms with bratty kids…. well, every self-respecting mom knows that the thing to do is take the kids to the food court or playground and let one mom shop at a time!

No recent shopping rage incidents, but when I was grocery shopping at 8 months pregnant I passed out from the heat (summers in Atlanta are murder) just as I was walking out with my cart of groceries. The manager who was helping me ran inside and in about 10 seconds I was in a wheelchair, they were fetching me a drink, and had the pharmacist hovering over me and another manager offering to drive me home or call my husband. I made sure to email their customer service department with a long story of how helpful and kind they were!

I think it’s important to notify stores of good and bad — they can’t change what they don’t know about, and good deeds and good people, most of them working at lower wages, should be recognized and rewarded.

November 10, 2010 at 11:50 am

AlyCatNat

All the major thrift stores in Seattle have a policy limiting the number of items you can take into the dressing room at one time. In order to obey the letter of the law, I hang garments which exceed the limit on the outside of the door, try on my six or eight garments, and then (making sure I am decently clothed) trade the items hanging on the outside for the ones I have just tried on.

One day I was in my undies in the dressing room trying to wiggle into some skinny jeans when I hear someone shriek “Oh how CUTE” outside the door, and look up to see the hangers from my as-yet-untried-on-clothes disappear from the top of the door. Of course, since I wasn’t fully covered, I couldn’t run out and snatch the clothes back. As Cricket pointed out, items in the thrift store are unique, you can’t just grab another of the same off the shelf. Well, at least the poacher had good taste.

November 10, 2010 at 11:57 am

Kim from Nebraska

Not really rage, but my mom and I had a “discussion” with a sales associate in San Francisco who REFUSED to believe we were from Nebraska and kept “correcting” us to pronounce it Nevada. As in “It’s PRONOUNCED NE-VAAA-DUH.” My mom was getting pretty irked when a manager stopped and asked what the problem was. I said, “This woman refuses to acknowledge we are from Nebraska.” The clerk rolls her eyes and says, “Nevada.” The manager says, “I’ll handle this.” Dismisses the clerk and very apologetically and professionally handles the transaction. Sheesh.

November 10, 2010 at 12:24 pm

LegacyOfPearl

(website)

I would have gotten upset as well, Angie! They were acting like you weren’t there while completely intruding your personal boundaries. Getting angry or not depends often on circumstances and sounds like something triggered your anger. I’m happy to hear you were firm. That shows you know yourself and how you want to be treated. Two good virtues.

I’m generally very calm and understanding, but I’ve had my share of frustration at the checkout line. Something that never fails to get me upset is the way SAs wrap/bag my things in any store. I generally ask politely for them to pack the way I like, but I’ve been heard to say “I don’t care if you respect your own clothes/food/etc., but I appreciate if you make sure mine is packed appropriately.” when polite request doesn’t work. I don’t know why it is so strong, but I don’t want to bring home a wrinkled jacket because the SA stuffed it in my bag, or see my food bagged with the detergent.

Kim from Nebraska: That’s hilarious!

November 10, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Maria

I am truly sorry about your experience, Angie. What really “gets me” is that … (very often) in the end we are the ones feeling somewhat quilty when we “stand ourground” as a response to people’s rudeness and at times with total lack of consideration for others which basically boils down to being disrespectful. What happenned to the the “good old manners” and being kind to each other? OMG, am I sounding like my Grandmother again?

November 10, 2010 at 1:35 pm

Inge

Some of your stories are just appalling, and both the other customer and the SA were extremely rude to you, Angie. Maria makes an excellent point here I think, it’s almost the “opposite world” sometimes, where if you even dare to speak up about behaviour like this, *you* are the one that gets the funny looks and remarks, strange…

All things considered, I think you handled this very graciously, Angie, but I can just imagine your blood boiling and those eyebrows arching higher and higher;-)

November 10, 2010 at 1:55 pm

mamark

OK, first, your situation was ridiculous. Both the shopper and the clerk were idiots and you were completely justified.

Second, yes, I’ve had shopping rage. Mainly at Talbots. I buy a lot of my work clothes using Talbot’s website, beacuse the store closest to me carries a more casual collection. I often order multiple sizes of the same garment and then return the ones that don’t fit to the local store. The sales clerks tend to be quite curt when taking a return and I’m always thinking, “You idiot! Doesn’t it occur to you that if you could manage to be civil, I might turn around and spend my entire refund in your store?” I mean, my Talbots card is platinum level, I don’t know what other clues they need that I’m a serious, frequent customer.

Anyway, it pisses me off each and every time, and it has many times cost them the inevitable sale they’d have had if I hadn’t been too enraged to wander over to the jewelry rack after my return.

November 10, 2010 at 1:56 pm

rae

(website)

Veteran

I just thought of another story to share. This wasn’t MY rage, but someone’s else’s, directed and my fiance and me. I think it’s inspiration to always be cool and rational, even if you are angry.

We had gotten in line at the market with one item, at a check stand near the middle of the long line of check stands. My fiance remembered he wanted something, ran off, then came back with a handful of fruit leathers, then ran off again to look for something else, leaving me to hold the place in line.

The man in front of me starts swearing under his breath. Then he pointedly leans in front of me to talk to the woman standing behind me.

“Another [expletive] idiot who can’t count,” he sneers loudly, flicking a look at me. “Everyone in this country is a [expletive] [derogatory].”

The woman looks at him blankly. I look around and realize that we’re in line at the express lane: 15 items or less — the man must have been angry because our handful of candy exceeded the 15-item limit — news to me, since the express lane is usually right next to the exit.

When my fiance returned, I started to quietly tell him we should change lines when the angry man got up in my fiance’s face and started swearing at him, going on about how rude he is, then even calling another woman in line a bad name for having “20 items in her basket.” My fiance apologized for not seeing the Express Lane sign, but only after pointing out that Angry Man could have simply pointed to the sign and asked us to move.

Now, every time I get angry, I just think of that man and force myself to ask for the treatment I want in a calm, polite manner — kind of like Angie.

November 10, 2010 at 1:57 pm

Isabel

Veteran

Call me crazy, but you were not the one with an extreme reaction. You clearly had a filter between your head and your mouth. The other woman was rude and extremely egotistical. HER behavior and comment to you are really childish, as was her inability to take any responsibility and then walk off telling herself that YOU were the problem. Don’t let her immaturity convince you that you are..

Every so often, (not just shopping because I mostly do stuff online ) I see myself flying across the room as strangling someone. It happened the other day at Dunkin Donuts. After a brief moment of envisioning that, I sat down, had my chocolate doughnut and tried not to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

You should actually be proud of yourself.

November 10, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Isabel

Veteran

I forgot to add, many years ago at a Macy’s shoe blowout and only TWO poor salespeople on the floor – a customer flung a black pump at one of the saleswomen and hit her on the side of the face. Then the customer had the gall to ask for the manager and security. I don’t know if the saleswoman was stunned from the audacity or a head injury. I stuck around and backed up the saleswoman’s version. The customer was actually perplexed and asked how was she supposed to get anyone’s attention that she wasn’t getting her shoes fast enough?
( She was barred for “life” from Macy’s )

November 10, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Renee

What if the other shopper had damaged it? Also, if I remember my retail experience, you’re supposed to finish with one customer first before serving another customer unless you’re the only one in the department then it’s acknowledgement of both and working to service both to the best of your abilities.

November 10, 2010 at 2:32 pm

Kristine

That’s awful Angie! You had every right to be upset! It was rude of the other shopper and even ruder of the clerk not to control the situation.

Once I received pajamas for Christmas. They didn’t fit so I tried to return them to the store (Target). The clerk made me feel like a criminal for not having a receipt, literally telling me their policy was in place because some people were less than honest. He finally allowed a credit but insisted I had to find something on the spot from the same department. I’d been running around all day and really didn’t feel like trying on pajamas. I was so upset, I just wanted to tell him to keep the pajamas. I’ll never shop at Target for gifts, most stores are much more reasonable about returns.

November 10, 2010 at 2:47 pm

cathy

I’ve got it down to a science. The rage thing freaks me out & I really don’t like to go through it so I try as much as I can to “feel” my way through the stores, almost as though shopping was a spiritual experience. I can tell if I should go or not. Once I get that green light feeling then I try to whisk though the stores one at a time casually, not letting anyone know what I am looking at and interacting only minimally with sales people. Once I find things I think are potential buys I take a break and eat something. Then I swoop back in for the kill.
My most recent rage experience was at Old Navy over summer sales items. I put them on hold and went to have my hair cut. When I went back to get them they were put back on the rack and missing. I had to call the manager and vent. Really brought me down.

November 10, 2010 at 2:50 pm

roxanne woodman

(website)

try tapping with affirmations i just seen it on u tube they had one on there for road rage

November 10, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Lena

Wow. That customer was extremely rude (what if she damaged the jacket?) and the SA was very unprofessional. This is unacceptable. Grr!

Reading all these horror stories, I think I’ve been very lucky (now shopping in my home country is a whole other story – the concept of half-decent customer service is still a novelty there). SA are usually very polite and apologize for long waits and all kinds of issues, sometimes needlessly. I see this in retail, grocery shopping, everywhere.

A few times I did feel lousy, not full of rage, just very very annoyed. I felt almost dirty when I had problems returning some unworn underpants at Macys and a pair of unworn pants at WHBM. Both times the SAs made a mistake and didn’t affix a return sticker to the items, so when I tried to return them, it wasn’t exactly smooth. That’s why I try to make sure the SA is not distracted by anything when they process my checkout – mistakes happen.

In turn, I felt bad for being rude several days during Nordies livechat. I hit the wrong button by mistake and abruptly ended the session before I could thank the person on the other end. They probably get that all the time, but I felt bad anyway.

November 10, 2010 at 3:41 pm

shana

Veteran

Oh, Angie, I can’t imagine anything ruffling your feathers – in my mind, I always think of you as being this serene sea of calmness!! Yes, that situation would have made me upset too. I am impatient by nature and rude salespeople drive me batty. I used to never say anything and let my blood boil over – sometimes for days at a time! Now, I’m much more likely to ask for a manager and explain the situation which makes me feel better. Likewise, I am trying to take the time to ask for a manager and compliment sales staff on exceptional service. I just did that at a restaurant last week and I know how alarmed the host looked when I asked for the manager on my way out!! I’m also trying harder to remember that everyone is human and everyone has a bad day. Less chance of me getting high blood pressure for ridiculous reasons

As someone who shops with children, I feel a little defensive when people complain about kids. I don’t really have much of a choice – I’m pretty much a single mom with no family nearby or other resources to help me out. No, I am not going to pay for daycare so that I can shop. If I want to go shopping B&M, I have to take at least one child with me. I make sure to bring snacks, toys and books to keep him entertained and he is usually in a stroller but once in awhile, he’ll throw a hissy fit or sneak under someone’s stall (he’s 2 not 12 though). I try my best and I have received many compliments over the years from people on how well behaved my children are (from people on airplanes even!) but I don’t begrudge any sleep deprived mother the chance for some retail therapy

November 10, 2010 at 4:03 pm

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

WOW. Ladies. Thanks for taking the time to relay your stories and for the validation

Sara, your “bloody” story wins. I can’t believe it!

Kim from NEBRASKA, that’s hilarious.

Michelle, I can only imagine how frustrating your shopping experiences are.

It was also great to hear comments from Sales Associates. Thanks for chiming in.

Thunalata, wise words at the end of your comment.

November 10, 2010 at 4:10 pm

klauren

Active Member

From a former store owner – that sales associate would not have ever been allowed to work in my store – what ever the return policy! That’s just not how you treat anyone – I love the response from Judy – perfecty lovely way to handle it.
But my goodness, do any of these stores have any kind of training policies any more? I too have extreme horrible stories, and have really been shopping more and more on, even for fabric as I make many things, because I just can’t stand the way I’m being treated in stores of all types. What’s happened to common, decent courtesy to your fellows any more? I was getting to feel maybe I was being too sensitive, but I’m seeing by these posts, all it takes is just a small bit of courtesy and common sense to make a situation go more smoothly. And our unflappable Angie can be irritated (entirely justified too!) by such a rude exchange, maybe I’m not as “sensitive” as I thought. Thanks, for bring this up. Reading all these posts helps us learn to deal with the “clods” of the world.

November 10, 2010 at 5:07 pm

CM

Well, I would be mad too at the lady demanding to try on the jacket. I don’t even like it when women I don’t know behind me in line reach out to touch the jacket, sweater, or whatever I’m buying to feel how soft it is.

I frequently get mistaken for a store salesperson when I am shopping in women’s clothing stores/sections so I get rude treatment from other customers.

A few months ago I was in White House Black Market and grabbed a top off the top rack. A lady marched up to me and said “Oh, you found one. Give it to me.”

A few weeks ago I was in Nordstrom and a lady came up to me yelling that she needed help finding things and had been looking straight at me to get my attention and that I wasn’t helping her, so she was going to report me to my manager.

This happens to me all the time and it still catches me off guard. I am nice to the ladies who are nice to me and just tell them I don’t work there. For the rude ones, I am often so shocked and angry, I just turn around and walk off. I figure they can complain to the manager about the terrible “employee” all they want. I have considered telling them they are a rude customer so I am not going to help them. That would be kind of funny to see their reaction, but haven’t had the guts.

November 10, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Lisa

Veteran

Angie, if that had been me, I would have clocked that shopper one. Touching MY stuff, no way is that ok with me. The SA, would have gotten a LOUD earful, I think nothing of causing a scene in a situation like this. Having a short fuse means I vent fast, then get over it fast too.

I’ve worked in sales so I’ve seen both sides of this. The customers who think SA are stand in baby sitters while they are in your store. The customers who judge the SA by how they look. I cannot count the number of times I had customers flat out tell me they didn’t want me to sell them an electronic because I had blonde hair at the time. The minute I went dark, the comments stopped. Or the comments from customers because I was working in sales to begin with. Umm well ok I was in a retail store, guess what I was also in a degree program. And now I have a small collection of them so bug off.

As a shopper I’ve had the occasion where a register opens up and people cut in line to go before you. The people that let their friend join them so now you are waiting for two purchases to finish. The SA who thinks you can’t afford anything in the store. The best for this is jewelry stores. One time hubby and I went into a high end jewelry store. Could not get them to give us the time of day. One excess flourish of his wrist to show off his watch and we were in the back room looking at the nicer goods. It’s almost a game now. Stores like this never ever get my money.

A recent event was in a chain department store. The SA and customer were obviously long time friends and were “catching up.” I timed them, 10minutes later and I was still the only one on line. I decided for this instance to say nothing. I didn’t have too, the apologies kept on coming when they realized what they did.

Another time I had someone jump in front of me on the line, I gave them an earful and pushed their items to the floor and put mine on the counter. Sometimes you just have to be forceful.

November 10, 2010 at 5:59 pm

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Lisa, you crack me up. I didn’t know you were feisty! Good for you.

November 10, 2010 at 6:29 pm

bj1111

Veteran

sympathies to everyone who has had a horrid experience intrude on what should be a pleasurable activity.

November 10, 2010 at 6:35 pm

Lisa

Veteran

Tee hee, Angie I do live near NYC after all.

November 10, 2010 at 7:06 pm

Debora

Veteran

Wow, the rudeness of some people is unbelievable. I am so sorry that this happened to you, Angie, and I hope that talking about it has helped to ease some of your anger and frustration. That should never have happened! Hugs!

November 10, 2010 at 8:40 pm

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

Oh my goodness, after reading so much angst, I think I need to have a lie down. Angie, I absolutely can understand why you were so cross. I would be too in the same situation! My biggest issue would be that like Shana, I very, very, very rarely get a chance to go out shopping on my own and as an absolute minimum I will have one child with me.

It irritates me no end on the occasion I need to go shopping with all three of my boys (now 4,6,8) and whilst walking about a shopping mall I can guarantee that I will hear at *least* once the following comment…. “Oh, look at you – ONE, TWO, and oh my…THREE BOYS!!!! Oh dear, you poor thing!!! Goodness, you’ve most certainly got your work cut out, don’t you?!”

Sometimes the comment will be said in horror, sometimes quite aggressively, sometimes with pity (that is the worst!). It is ALWAYS made by a woman. Sometimes, depending on the day, this comment will be followed by “So, do you think you’ll try next for a girl?”

It may be not a biggy to you (and on the scheme of things I know it isn’t), but I really do find these type of comments to be quite irritating because they will be made when my children are being impeccably behaved. They’ll be made when my boys are standing still (or sitting nicely), they’ll be made walking by my side and holding my hand. My boys wouldn’t dare(!) run around the store and they wouldn’t risk wrath of mummy by fighting or screaming out in public. They are neatly presented and remember to use please and thank you (most of the time).

Sooooooo, why is it assumed that because of their gender that they must automatically be out of control, or that I must find it a ‘struggle’ to look after them? I may be little, I may be a girly-girl (and proudly so), but why assume that I automatically can’t handle them? I’m actually a very strict (but loving) mother. If they step out of line when out in public I have absolutely no hesitation in pulling them back in line!

Funnily enough you should note that if my husband goes out with the boys, such a comment is NEVER made. He just gets little old grannies telling him “Awwww, look at you – a real super dad!” (Please insert grinding of my teeth here as he smugly tells me about it later….;-))

Wow – venting – I feel better now! [giggle]

November 10, 2010 at 8:41 pm

Sihaya

Veteran

Angie, I’m sorry you had a tough situation that had you seeing red. I know it takes a lot for you to get angry. The parting shot from the customer would have had me seeing red as well. I liked Laura’s point about it being a boundary issue which may be a hot button for you (and many people, including me) which is why you may have seen more red than usual.

I know there are times I’ve had a retail experience where I’ve seen red but I don’t remember any super clearly now. Which is good, it means I’m over them and my blood pressure is back to normal. Interestingly, I sometimes get frustrated when I see “bad customers” even though I’ve never worked in retail. One time I was at a large retail store waiting outside the dressing room. This young woman (proabably about 20) had been bleeding and didn’t go to the restroom to fix her situation. Instead, she wiped some of the leak onto brand new clothing. I saw her do this and by the time I scraped my jaw off the carpet, she had moved on. I pointed out the item of clothing to the SA. It bothers me whenever people have an overblown sense of entitlement.

November 10, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Antje

Veteran

OMG Angie, I am so sorry you had this encounter with an obivously untrained, silly or unprofessional sales person. Of course the item is yours until you return it and get your refund.
I have shopping rage in Germany now, when I’m only allowed to take 4 items into the dressing room when I want to try on a dozen and am willing to shop for more…

November 10, 2010 at 9:28 pm

Meredith

Active Member

Oh, Angie! I’m so sorry!

It is amazing how someone’s rudeness can make us so angry. I’ve been there many times…road rage, phone rage, email rage…

Big hugs to you!

November 10, 2010 at 10:07 pm

Joless

I just realised that I ALWAYS expect returning items to go wrong, somehow and am inordinately relieved and surprised when the SA is pleasant and things work ok. Kind of sad, really I would have been very angry at Angie’s incident as, already expecting trouble, I would have blown over very easily. Sounds like you kept your cool very well.

One case of shopping irritation I experienced was when I was in a bag shop in Fiji, and the indian sales girls followed us around everywhere to the extent that if we turned around quickly we fell over them. Drove us totally nuts at first and then we turned it into a game by changing direction very quickly and walking into them Didn’t buy anything though as felt too hassled to even look at any merchandise!

When I worked in a big supermarket I used to do my very best to be polite and helpful at all times as it made my shift more pleasant, but some customers were so rude – talking on their mobiles at the cash register, shouting because the queues were too long, or even screaming before walking out and leaving a full trolley load which we had to put away (this customer CHOSE to shop on Christmas Eve and then was surprised and angry that we were jam packed!). I hated working there at Christmas.

November 11, 2010 at 1:55 am

Kyrania

Active Member

Holy Cow!!!! I’ve had quite a few experiences where I felt “The RAGE” and it is scary for me as it usually takes a LOT to even ruffle my feathers.

One experience was when I had discovered a beautiful little black beaded evening bag. It was the only one and as I picked it up, I mean I actually had it in my hands, a lady tried snatching from me. It scared me and I think she saw the fear in my eyes.

She reluctantly let it go then proceeded to follow me, stalk me like some rabid predator breathing nasty words hot and heavy and filled with hate, behind my back. I tried to ignore her and thought about forgoing the rest of my shopping. I would go to the cashier, pay for the bag and leave fast!

This woman grabbed my upper arm and asked if I was going to purchase the bag and I responded “Yes” then she asked if I really wanted the bag at which point I CALMLY said “Yes”…..she continued to follow me NOW with a companion bad mouthing me…I was AFRAID and was going to approach the store manager, a sales person, ANYBODY…although a few other shoppers noticed her insane behavior and kinda moved away from me.

I try not to watch news because of the negativity and hearing about crazy and unpredictable people who are on drugs and with my imagination the images of being beaten to a pulp over a BAG started to overwhelm me…..until reasonable thought kicked in. Perhaps she really needed the bag…maybe she had to attend a funeral, a wedding some important even whereas I just wanted the bag for if and when.

Perhaps she just really needed it for comfort and maybe even to balance some kind of emotional undertow in which she felt out of control, lost helpless…I know, too much thinking.

In any case I KNEW that I did not NEED the bag and it seemed as though she really did.

I turned to her gave her the bag and said ” Here, take it…you need it more than I” SHE looked stunned, and then almost teary eyed she reached for the bag only hesitating a few inches before making contact. She then looked at me, APOLOGIZED and said thank you…I don’t know how many times.

Again my thoughts…Maybe she wanted it for an ailing friend, a sick child…maybe the woman herself was ill and felt she needed it….who knows….well, I DO know that I didn’t NEED it. And ya know, I did feel good about letting it go….as if something, some greater force confirmed to me that it was the right choice.

STILL I WAS afraid, angry and on a crazy wave of mixed emotions while the whole event unraveled….but in the end I was bettered, larger somehow after working through it all.

November 11, 2010 at 5:36 am

Kyrania

Active Member

OH…on another note…I worked at an art store in my teens. It was Christmas time and I had just arranged an intricate pyramid of Bob Ross paint kits in an elaborate, time consuming yet easily accessible pyramid. The store opened and a HORDE of ELDERLY women beat their way to the Bob Ross Display reaching, grabbing, scratching and fighting for a kit.

It REALLY freaked me out! Elderly, sweet looking women turned into maddened beasts… savage claws, toothy and toothless snarling and hissing with lots of drool. A couple even smacking each other while screeching and shrieking!
I abandoned my cashiers station and RAN to the stock room to get the guys.

I did not go back out until the horde was dismissed…..It was an unbelievable and unsettling experience to say the least. I NEVER go into the stores around the holidays now….and I NEVER will.

November 11, 2010 at 5:52 am

shana

Veteran

LOL, Katiepea, I get the don’t you want a girl too when people see me with my two boys. If I’m in a foul mood, I’ll point to my oldest, clearly dressed in boy clothes, and say I already have one

November 11, 2010 at 5:53 am

Mac

Oh, Angie – that’s a dreadful story! I am shocked by the rude customer but even MORE shocked by the salesperson who allowed and even encouraged her rudeness. The salesperson is paid to treat you with respect and to protect you from other customers if necessary. This kind of thing happens to me often and infuriates me; it’s one of the many reasons I no longer enjoy shopping.

I find many of these same issues popping up when travelling, too. A year ago, I was walking in a slow moving queue at the airport behind an elderly couple. A young couple cut in front of everyone and walked straight to the front, not wanting to wait for the older people – and all of us patiently moving behind them – to move up. I waited for the gate attendant to politely turn the young couple away and ask them to move to the back of the line but she did nothing; she just served them with a smile. “That is SO rude,” I said, very loudly. “F*&K off and go back to your own country” was the young man’s reply. The gate agent still did nothing.

I was disgusted by the young couple’s rudeness. But the gate agent behaving as though nothing were going on, and not protecting all of us who were waiting patiently in line was what really made me blow my stack. It’s incidents like these that make me worry that I’m going to get arrested one of these days for smacking someone while shopping or travelling.

November 11, 2010 at 11:25 am

Tiina

Active Member

klauren pointed out the sales assistants’ training – I used to work at a store that specialised in women’s and children’s clothing and this topic often bugs me since then.

I had never worked as a clerk, administrator, sales assistant or anything even remotely similar before that job. When I arrived, I was told to read through the introductory books, then the manager explained the basic layout of the shop and I was ready. I spent the day on the floor, putting clothes back on the racks and trying to do my best to help the customers, although I didn’t even really know what garments we carried.

At the beginning of day 2, I got a brief overview of the cash register and what the different buttons do. The manager stayed with me for a quarter of an hour and then left to “go and grab something to eat”. Officially, lunch breaks were 30 minutes long, but I never saw the manager again that day. She left me alone on the floor for hours (on my second day!) until the next shift came in.

This carried on for two weeks. Even though I went through those books again, asked the manager for help and did everything I could to just figure the store out, I only received explanations on the [rare] occasions when I screwed something up. The customers still treated me as anyone would treat an SA – expecting him or her to know the answers to the questions asked and being genuinely surprised/bewildered/angry if I didn’t. Needless to say, I felt very uncomfortable and alone throughout the whole time and quit after three weeks.

November 11, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Sara

Active Member

MNSara, it was a mall in Queens, NY. I have to be honest, I rarely go there now and drive to a mall quite out of my way to avoid it. The whole place just seems like a madhouse to me at all times.

November 11, 2010 at 3:20 pm

klauren

Active Member

Tlina – oh my goodness! I wouldn’t want to work in that store either! I’m a big believer in training and learning, as how can they expect anyone to work there with out some knowledge and training, we all had to be “newbies” at one time and there’s always new things happening that need to be noted to help people (SA and others) to be knowledgeable and informed and able to do the job – and to me that includes spending a little time and $$ on training by the store or establishment.
I’m guessing that’s why many people advise when you find a great SA at a particular place you make that one your pal – it has certainly helped me when I’m looking for something in particular or contact me when they know it’s something that’s “me”! I certainly try to frequent places that treat me right and never go back to places that don’t.
But sometimes, don’t you just wanna paint on the side of their bldg – “these folks are so bad” if they are?? Sigh, guess you really can’t…

November 11, 2010 at 7:49 pm

Elizabeth

Active Member

About 7 years after starting our company, we were delighted beyond words when the numbers were no longer in the red. After a busy day of screen printing (in tank top and overalls), I wanted to reward self with a trip to the local mall. In hindsight, should’ve changed clothes first… Walked into an upscale women’s clothing store. Three sales associates on the floor. I’m the only customer. Perusing rack after rack of clothes, subtley trying to catch the eye of any SA. Other customers come in (yes. Dressed better than I) and SAs flock to them like seagulls on frenchfries. Redfaced for more than one reason… I leave the store. Lessons learned, sales people shouldn’t judge a quarter million dollar business owner by her overalls. I also learned to present my best self in public!

November 12, 2010 at 9:22 am

laura

Most of my rude sales associates stories involve me being accused of stealing when I was a teenager. Which was always false and there was never an apology.

Once I was dropping a load of things off at a local thrift store when a man came up to me and asked me if I was happy my things were going to a good home. (It was my cast-offs, no emotional attachments there!)

Shortly after he walked away another woman came storming up to my car, walked up to me and then as she looked into my car said “oh, you are pregnant, its okay! When I asked her what she meant she said he likes to flirt with other women. AWKWARD!

Then as I was bringing the load inside her friend asked me if she could look through my things to see if there was something she wanted. I ended up giving her a small t.v. I asked her is she could open the door to the store for me because 1. My hands were full of donations and 2. I was 8 months pregnant and 3. I had just given her something and she had the nerve to say no!

I think the sales lady at that store was equally frustrated with those people as well!

November 13, 2010 at 7:18 pm

Tanya

Veteran

Urgh, what a horrible experience. No wonder you were annoyed Angie, I would have been as well.

November 15, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Kay

I agree with Maya. I probably would’ve let the person try on the jacket without a second thought. I’m definitely not defending the actions of the shopper or the sales assistant but it’s just not an issue that would have had me “seeing red.”

Something that really upsets me while shopping is outright discrimination from sales staff towards those who are not well dressed. I’ve been shopping with friends who aren’t concerned with being fashionable and the utter lack of courtesy towards them was really surprising to me.

November 15, 2010 at 5:52 pm

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November 16, 2010 at 2:32 pm

Nicolle

Totally understandable. The jacket belonged to you until the store accepted the return and no normal individual would walk up to a stranger and ask to try on an article of their clothing.

November 20, 2010 at 9:31 pm

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