Oh la la, Angie!!! What a fun topic on a hot day!
- High heels (the way you walk in them or playing with the shoe…)
- Make up (lipstick and mascara)
- cleavage
- every outfit that makes me feel “me” (from jeans and top to a glamorous evening dress)

Foe me it is,

* clear skin and good make up
* a blow dry
* a well fitted jeans, bright colored top and a jacket
* an amazing dress or skirt-top
* heels
* Most imp- ME!!

Great topic. First and formost, I feel sexy when I feel confident. Even if I’m wearing my “sexy” clothes, if I don’t feel confident, I don’t feel sexy.
So what makes me confident:
1. Great hairstyle
2. Great makeup (I love playing up my eyes with smoky shadows using golds, bronzes, etc.)
3. Clothes I love that look great on me
-certain colors
-pencil skirts
-heels and wedges
4. Painted toe nails!!
5. Great jeans

It’s a gloriously hot day here in Seattle too, Phoebe. Indeed a fab topic for a day like today.

Sarah, good point. No matter what you wear, if you don’t feel confident, you won’t feel sexy.

Great Topic!
Feeling great, boosts my confidence and that makes me feel sexy.
I feel sexy when I feel impecable from head to toe:
A good quality outfit with soft fabric and perfect fit, maybe a black impecable trousers or pencil skirt, a silk blouse of a deep color (dark purple, emerald green), heels and a nice bag (a nice bag makes me feel powerful).

I would say:

- a Good Hair Day

- Lipstick

- Comfortable High heels (you walk differently in them, ya know?)

- Long string of pearls (there’s just something about them that makes me feel automatically flirty – esp when paired with a casual simple tee shirt and jeans)

- clothes that show off my waist and make me look sort of hourglassy (Interestingly, I think this has become more important to me than clothes that accentuate my chest)

- well groomed eyebrows

… and a minimum of 8 hours sleep!

Things that make me feel sexy:

- heels
- boots
- pantyhose
- miniskirts
- getting my nails done
- lots of eye shadow and mascara

I guess I am in the minority because I never WANT to feel sexy. I think I interpret the word differently though. Sexy and attractive are not interchangeable to me. Sexy is dressing in a way that is meant to illicit desire in someone, which gives me the creeps personally. Even in situations where it is “acceptable,” like to go dancing or out to a bar to meet guys the latter of which is definitely not a preferred way to spend an evening for me, but often is for my friends), it really is just not my thing. Call me a prudish old lady and judge me any way you wish, but I just haven’t come to enjoy certain kinds of attention.

It is hard for me to be such a modest person because I just do not have a modest body type, and even though it is something I have no control over and something I definitely didn’t ask for, people still assume and stereotype all the same. Honestly, I do not think I have to DO anything to look sexy. At my age and chest size, I could be wearing a fedora and a hefty bag and I’d still probably get old men leering at me all the same.

It’s hot here in Portland too – so today I’ll feel most confident if I feel cool!
Overall:

- modest but modern, fitted clothing that is ironed, clean, and flattering.
- effortless-looking hair, skin and makeup (that really wasn’t effortless to achieve!)
- plenty of sleep, a good breakfast, and yoga – I feel best after I get this in the morning!
- shaved and moisturized legs
- accessories that make my outfit “pop” – a great bag, necklace, belt
- shoes that will be comfortable for the time I’m wearing them

I agree with you Maya – I don’t want to feel sexy if the response I get is for people on the street to be drooling over me – gross! What I assumed what Angie meant by “sexy” was when I feel confident and pulled together in an outfit, that confidence adds a little skip to my step, and I feel comfortable in my own skin and proud I was able to pull an outfit together that makes me feel good – and that comes across as attractive – or sexy. You’re right, though that those terms aren’t always interchangeable for everyone.

I am with Sarah, confidence is the most important for me too. A good hairstyle and make up go a long way as well.

For daily outfits, well fitting pair of jeans with a wrap top in a flattering color makes me feel the best.

For going out, I like pencil skirts, waist-accentuating dresses and flirty tops with interesting details ( such as backless, of-the-shoulders etc.).

Sweet responses.

Maya, you are having an extra cerebral day. I guess the question can be as complex as you perceive it. Remarkable.

LE, I love your mention of ironed clothes. That’s so cute. Just like you.

It’s interesting that make-up has been mentioned. This does not feature on my list at all. I wonder why that it?

Much prefer the word “alluring” … Sexy should be confined to private moments. Allure can mean fascinating, very attractive, charming… but keeps “sex” out of the equation.
And allure is all glowing good health, attitude and personality, regardless of the outer wrapping.

I know the feeling you mean Angie, I think. What does it for me:

1) High heels – I love heels and would wear them much more if I didn’t live in the rural midwest
2) A great pair of jeans – ironic, since I actually hate wearing jeans because I eventually find them uncomfortable.
3) A perfectly fitting dress
4) Red – I love cherry red, although I don’t actually have that many clothes in that color.

Makeup doesn’t make my list either. Neither does hair. Also strange since I do spend the largest amount of time on my hair and makeup in terms of getting ready for the day.

I feel most confident when I’m comfortable, so I think my ultimate sexy outfit is a black tank, nice jeans and boots — very simple and a little tough For whatever reason, I feel like I could do anything in that outfit!

Confidence and attitude, always. With heels of almost any kind coming in a close second! Also, a drapey fitting skirt or dress (and I’m really loving the vibe of tiered ruffly skirts). Perfectly pedicured feet are always a plus. Leather jackets. And clutches instead of shoulder bags or totes.

I feel sexy in heels and dresses, of course. I love sexy sandals but my feet are soooooo ugly I can’t do those. Sometimes I get compliments from my BF when I expect then the least (no prep, kind of bad hair)… so who knows? but then it is a scientifically proven fact that our attractiveness is tied to our hormonal cycles, and it is also kind of nice this is out of our control.

In response to Maya: it’s true, that dressing “sexy” or “alluring” may illicit stares and unwanted attention, but that is the risk we take whenever we leave the house. Instead of seeing it as creepy or oppressive, I understand it as an example of my sexuality and power of femininity (but I understand that it’s different for everyone).
My list (and I draw on this if I am feeling good, bad, stressed, etc.)
motorcycle or cowboy boots (I like the attitude)
tights or leggings
shorter shirt or pencil skirt
fun, casual dresses
anything showing collarbone (a.k.a. the skinny gal’s cleavage)
brighter colors

This is kinda weird but if i shower outside and let my hair dry in the sun I feel really sexy all day. And I like it when my skin is really pale and i wear a dark color

I love your topics Angie!

I feel like I’m at my most sexy when I’m totally confident. That confidence can come from clothing. So to me, the two go hand-in-hand; you can’t feel confident in clothes you don’t feel fabulous in! But a lot of that comes from details…

1. Great haircut (I’m getting it styled today; I’ll post pictures! )
2. The perfect perfume
3. Mascara, blush and lip color. Foundation has it’s perks, but I feel best without it.
4. My wayfarer sunglasses
5. Matching underwear. I rarely do it, but I feel so fabulous when I do!
6. Dresses + my grey leather jacket. It’s a combo that can’t be beat. In fact, I think I’ll be doing that today…

I think I feel sexiest when I spend the time putting in extra effort. Thing like:
-certain makeup (I rarely wear lip colour, but when I do it makes a difference)
-wearing heels (might be effortless for some, not so for me!)
-matching bra to underwear, just as Angie says

I’m not sure any of these things really make me look any better, but as pretty much everyone has pointed out, it’s how they make you feel that’s important. Also, a good hair day can make a huge difference, but that has more to do with chance than effort. The type of clothing I’m wearing doesn’t actually play a huge part- I can feel equally good in a feminine dress or some sharp tailoring. It’s all in the little extras, for me.

I’m digging these responses. Fascinating.

Mary, I too prefer the word “alluring”. 100%. (I’ve even posted my feelings about the word “sexy” on our forum). In fact I don’t use the word sexy, ever. But I decided to use the word here because it’s used so frequently in the fashion and beauty world. It sort of gets right to the chase. When I use the word alluring in conversation, I often get blank stares.

Claire, that’s what I’m talking about: “For whatever reason, I feel like I could do anything in that outfit!”. Nice one.

While confidence and attitude are imperative to feeling attractive and alluring, I feel that the outer wrapper affects the way you feel. The two are linked.

Sabrina, I like the way you think.

It’s not really all that cerebral to me Angie. I have never liked the word sexy. Makes me cringe. I even had this discussion a few years back with a former boyfriend, making him promise to never call me that! As it turns out, he didn’t like the word either, though for different reasons. Mary has echoed my thoughts well.

Sabrina, I am speaking only from my own experience and preferences, and I am aware that I am in the minority. To be clear, I don’t really go out of my way either way–either to be very modest or very “sexy.” I just dress how I like and accept that I have no control over how people will react.

One thing I’ll say is that I do like volume, knowing fully that it is probably not the preference of 90% of men in terms of womens’ clothes. However, it has a fun retro connotation to it and I’ll be much happier to get attention for that.

Hmmm… I’m surprised this is this tough for me…
-great jeans
-a favourite stretch top (not really tight, just stretchy)
-strong smoky eye makeup (makes me feel hypnotic)
-getting off my motorcycle

LOL! The motorcycle makes me feel powerful, since it took so much courage for me to learn to do it! But it kind negates hair & makeup, with helmet-head & watery eyes…

Angie, My list is yours exactly:)

Just becasue I wear an out that makes me feel sexy doesn’t mean I want sexual attention from men, …In fact I dress modest compared to most women, but I am a woman, no hiding that..and I am glad I don’t live in a place where females have to cover up head to toe.

A good hair day, rosy cheeks and tights jeans are usually all I need to feel sexy in my own skin

Interesting question, Angie.

At first I would be tempted to mention things like a great hair day, a great skin day, plenty of sleep, etc. And then I remembered how I was gardening (sort of) last evening and felt kind of alluring in my REI gear pants and a sleeveless tee. It helped that I just came back from exercising and felt very refreshed and aware of my posture. So in the end, it comes down to attitude and how I feel inside.

As for specific outfits: great fitting jeans; a well fitting dress; knee high boots; a skirt or dress with heels. And good quality fabric and fit and construction.

One more thing. I really like having some kind of texture on my legs when I’m wearing a skirt or dress. Like interesting hose/tights or even leggings.

Great timing. Just this morning I thought, “I hope Angie does a post soon on how our feelings in/intuition about a certain outfit affect how we carry ourselves in that outfit”. And you did.

Good job. May we always be discovering things that make us feel alluring. Whether its long earrings, a different kind of shoe, or a wider pant hem opening. Those are just a couple of my recent feel goods.

Mine are sleek, well fitting clothes, heels and a great hair style. I agree that confidence goes without saying. Yes, there are people who will be creepy no matter what you wear but for me being confident and alluring means commanding both respect and admiration.

I think the times that I feel at my most alluring are times when I am wearing clothes that suit both my personality and shape. My personal go-to outfit for date-night is a dress that shows my waist and hips off- like Shiny, cleavage doesn’t matter too much-, a cute pair of shoes and matching undies. Sensual perfume, healthy skin and soft fabrics also help me feel more alluring too.

However sexy, rather than alluring or attractive, doesn’t really figure into my outfit choices… but ultimately it comes down to what people see as sexy. For example, amongst my age group, sexy is short skirts, lots of cleavage, fake tan, and trashy clothes and fabrics. However I really wouldn’t feel very alluring or even sexy in those clothes as they don’t suit my taste.

Sexy/feminine/confident
All of these are interchangable to me….I think I feel sexy when I feel feminine and confident…
Clothes bring this on….a pencil skirt, heels, no, HEELS, great jeans, boots,
cashmere, leggings, leather jacket…I could go on…
I feel sexy/’feminine/confident when I know I am in charge…I am not looking for anything from anyone else to make me happy…
Great topic…I am a first time poster…great site no GREAT SITE!…

Love your list, Angie. That basically says it for me too. I also think that the confidence thing is huge. I always think of scenes in movies where the male star sees the female star in cut-off jeans and a t-shirt for painting work or something, and she looks GOOD. The confidence does it all and I have felt those moments too.

And I am also on board with several others about the wording choices. I personally make an effort toward ’sexy’ for my husband, especially on occasions such as weekend getways, date nights, etc. ‘Sexy’ should be a private thing, I think, and it is a dreadful pity that it is now generally considered to be fodder for the public eye.

If I want to look good to the rest of the world, I would say I go for ‘alluring’ on some level, which to me means that others will see a confident, attractive woman. I do want that to be part of how people see me – as comfortable in my womanhood – even though I definitely do not go for a ’sexy’ look for anyone but my spouse.

Maybe this helps to clarify:

sex·y (sěk’sē)
adj. sex·i·er, sex·i·est

1. Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.
2. Slang Highly appealing or interesting; attractive: “The recruiting brochures are getting sexier” (Jack R. Wentworth).

sex’i·ly adv., sex’i·ness n.

The former definition, which is technically the “correct” (non slang) one, is the one squicks me out. The latter is slang and not really what I would consider or describe as “sexy,” and usually not how I think the word is meant when discussed in the context of fashion and style.

I never meant women should have to run around paranoid, wearing burqas and covering up every bit of their bodies. Everyone on the forum has seen my pictures and knows that is not what I meant nor is it how I dress!

I think I just have a different goal when I get dressed and groomed every day. I’m after a certain “look” and aesthetic that best showcases who I am as a person, and any time I succeed at that, I feel good. Mod dresses, bold graphic prints, knee high boots, volume, successfully applied fringe trends (which I usually admire but have a hard time wearing), bright colors, and my huge glamorous sunglasses all make me a happy camper.

“Femininity” is something I think is just THERE, and anyone with a pair of eyeballs and the ability to detect pheromones is going to know that. I don’t have to activate it somehow. I guess that is why I don’t really consider it when getting ready each day. I’m also, in all honesty, not very feminine in personality, so it makes sense to me not to make it such a big part of my personality

I hope that clarifies what I meant.

I wasn’t going to join this conversation because of my age but if we just say alluring rather than sexy I feel part of the group.
My personal preference has never been to have anything spilling over the clothing for viewing. I have always felt that good quality and well fitting “wrappings” make me feel the most alluring.
For me it is very innertwined with the feeling of femininity.

Well, you just never know. Flip flops and sweats could * arouse desire* or *sexual interest* in someone. Beauty or *sexiness* is in the eye of the beholder.

Gosh, I have to say I haven’t been on the site near as much as I’d like to. Personal laptop crash, vacations & busy summer have kept me away. I couldn’t resist on this topic though. For me it’s the following;
~ Comfortable high heels (currently it’s pumps & my snake one’s). Feel like a million bucks when I wear them & like I could do anything!
~ Fit – I mean fit body here! Clothing fit is important to me but if I’m taking care of my body my options are wide open for clothes & I feel fantastic!
~ Clothing fit, fit, fit! This is one that I’m still learning & working on. I’ve had many a tendency over the years to buy things bigger than what I need. I have a friend that does just the opposite so I really have to watch things when we shop together.
~ Something in animal print. Not sure what it is but I gotta have it, even if it’s just a simple skinny belt or shoes!
~ Lipstick, mascara & my regular make-up (that just means foundation & a touch of blush for me).
~ Great hair day. Hands down!
~ Positive, Fun attitude – You can make the best or the worst of any situation. If you’re having fun & being positive you naturally feel sexy (or alluring as others have stated).
I think it’s interesting because it’s different for everyone also. What a great lists of responses to read through! And, I agree, the other people looking at you “sexy” thinking that can really really creep you out sometimes.

Great post once again Angie!

Taylor, you’re right…but most women in flip flops and sweats aren’t dressing that way deliberately to get that response. I’m talking about intention, not about result.

True Maya! I agree with you..

Wow, interesting question with alot more detailed responses than I would have figured initially..
Answering that questions is tougher than I thought it would be actually, but here’s my list:
Anything cashmere
A belted dress that suggests an hourglass but lets me move and strut anyway I like
My silk tops, all very modest but in glorious colors and very retro in styling.I feel like an old movie star when I wear them.

But most of all, I feel my sexiest after a good workout and a solid night of sleep.
When I was a teenager my Mom told me I looked most beautiful when I was playing tennis.I thought she was saying it to keep me taking lessons
But now I think she was right all along!

I totally agree that it is a mixture of both attitude and the clothing. I love my heels as you all know by now.

Skinny jeans with a ruffle or tunic top
Pencil skirt with a wide belt and tucked in top
Sheath dresses
Full skirt with fitted tucked in top

Great makeup and hair top off what makes me feel sexy!

Most of all confidence and feeling great no matter what I am wearing makes me feel sexy, since I have lost the weight, I feel sexier and more confident than I ever have!

Hehe, since I had a holiday today I forgot to check YLF for a blog update before work!

In general, this is what makes me feel most confident and attractive:
* Good skin (either having a “good skin day”, or being able to successfully cover up with makeup to the extent where people don’t notice anything is wrong
* Highlighting my eyes (which are my favorite feature on me and on other people) with subtle mascara and sometimes eyeshadow
* Fitted pieces (waistcoats, pencil skirts) that optimize without over-emphasizing my curves
* Great heels or knee-high boots
* Feminine details: a silk scarf, pretty necklace, floral pin, ruffles…

Showing off skin doesn’t make it onto my list either. this and this are examples of the type of outfit I feel most alluring in, and they are relatively covered.

Oh, and two more things to add:

Polish – I don’t feel entirely alluring when I’m in a 100% casual outfit without *something* extra to make me feel polished, even if it’s just as simple as wearing ballet flats instead of sneakers or adding a pretty necklace.

I also echo some of the other commenters who say that feeling fit makes them feel sexy. Working out – be it jogging, going to the gym regularly, or dancing – really adds to my self-confidence. I know that I don’t look my best when I am tired and sweaty from a workout, but knowing that I am doing something great for my body and feeling successful in doing something physically (since I am not an athlete and not physically coordinated) really makes me feel great.

This is an interesting conversation going on!

I guess when I read Angie’s post, I didn’t see anything about dressing specifically in a provocative/sexy way, rather she asked what articles of clothing make us FEEL sexy. To me, this is not the same thing. As my husband can attest, what makes me FEEL sexy, and what he thinks of as a “sexy or alluring outfit” are two completely different things. If he had his druthers, I’d be walking around dressed as Daisy Duke (well, at least sometimes, hee). That doesn’t make me feel sexy or attractive at all! So while I feel best and most confident in pencil skirts or skinny jeans and a killer leather jacket, it’s not exactly going to “arouse sexual desire or interest” in him, and it’s not really meant to. As Angie said in her post, it’s about making ME feel confident and powerful, not necessarily for the specific purpose of attracting someone else.

* sheer red lipstick
* high heels
* pretty underwear
* a form fitting, knee length skirt

Anything that really emphasizes my slim figure while still showing my (very slight) curves, and particularly outfits that feature my lower half.

-skinny jeans or trousers and soft tee
-pencil skirt with fitted jacket or silky blouse or slim sweater
-sheath dress
-clingy jersey dress or sweater dress
-short dress or skirt, particularly if paired with tights
-any of the above paired with trendy high heels or heeled boots, and dangly earrings or big hoop earrings

Good hair and black eyeliner usually make me feel good too, but I probably wouldn’t have thought to add those to the list if others hadn’t mentioned hair and makeup.

Fabulous comments. Thanks, ladies.

My dear Maya, I meant the word “sexy” in its colloquial and slang sense only. As in the way an iphone is “sexy”. I did not mean for people to list the outfits that would arouse sexual desire or interest in others (although, you did put a big grin on my face and I’m grateful for that!) Thanks for the dictionary definitions, though. Now things are crystal clear. San and Ana hit the nail on the head.

o “For me it is very intertwined with the feeling of femininity”.

o “I guess when I read Angie’s post, I didn’t see anything about dressing specifically in a provocative/sexy way, rather she asked what articles of clothing make us FEEL sexy. To me, this is not the same thing”.

Taylor, our similar body types may have a lot to do with our preferences for the same alluring outfits. Food for thought.

Nice one budget babe, Carissa, Kari and Lena. At the end of the day, you are as alluring as you feel – with YOU and FEEL being the operative words. Jewelry girl’s comment about a fun and positive attitude tickles my toes too. Love it.

It’s also interesting how exercise and sleep have been mentioned. These factors do not play a role in my feelings at all. But feeling healthy from the inside out by consuming real food, not too much and mostly plants absolutely does. More food for thought.

I love your site and all the suggestions and ideas you present. My problem is this: I am petite 5′1″ with a slender build but have thicker ankles. I don’t love them! All of the summer sandals I have been seeing lately (gladiators, etc) have ankle straps, and I have always been told to avoid these like the plague. Any suggestions for someone like me? I am also looking for something comfortable for daily wear — I’ve got 3 kiddos to keep up with.

Hi Shari, your question is a good one to post on the forum. If you look at the top of this page you see that you can click over to the forum where there is always something fun happening. There is an “ask Angie” button over there.
Welcome, you’ll love the forum.

Thanks, San!

Dresses!!!! Not sure why; probably because they are the most feminine article of clothing to wear and I love that. Also, curly hair, which for me is only possible if I have it professionally done so I think the rarity of it also adds to how I feel when my hair is curly.

Besides agreeing with many about the must-haves of great fit and color, good hair day, skin, etc. to exude confidence, I want to add wearing a fabric that begs to be touched. Some have mentioned cashmere which I love for this reason. I’d add soft alpaca knit, plush velvets, finest Egyptian cotton and smooth sensuous satin and silk. I’d love to find the perfect soft billowy silk sack dress for summer. This touch-me fabric selection includes stockings (When we used to wear them, they made legs feel super silky) and undies. I feel “sexy” in my microfishnets.

I agree with Maya. I have never in my entire life felt sexy, alluring, etc. And I don’t want to. Much of this stems from body-issues. I have never even had the words beautiful or even cute ascribed to me in ways that I believe. My goals each day are clean, decent, modest, tucked in. But I can completely get behind other people wanting to feel sexy, confident, polished, beautiful, alluring, cute, etc. But it’s not my style.

Oh, I’m coming into this late.

1. Red Lipstick
2. A nice bra and undies
3. Some of the styles you put out there, also make me feel alluring, in particular the “sleek,” “commanding,” and “naughty,” looks. I feel less sexy in fashion foward outfits, more sexy in classic (yet not boring) styles.

*Heels for sure … they push me over 6′ tall; I purposely choose flats when I want to tone things down!
*A wrap dress … esp. my burgundy one
*A flowy summer top, dressy short-shorts & heels … hot/humid summer date night w/dh
*Darkwash jeans, colored tweed jacket, & brown suede boots
*Darkwash jeans, teal silk tank, navy suit jacket w/sleeves pushed up, & heels

Great post and discussion. For me, nothing beats a tight pencil skirt to make me feel sexy. Also, while I wouldn’t have thought of this myself, I love that someone mentioned exercise, and I totally relate to that. Vigorous exercise has a wonderful effect on me in terms of feeling both relaxed and powerful/confident – a great combination!

I loved this post. I agree with Maya (again! we should meet up). Although as I’ve gotten older I’ve found I feel more comfortable with a bit of cleavage, shorter skirts and those other things that are intended to arouse sexual desire or interest. But I tend to sprinkle them in small amounts and only when I think they add to the overall feel of the outfit. Generally I dress for my own visual satisfaction and my top picks for feeling alluring/attractive/”slang” sexy are: skinny jeans/pants , soft jersey tops, pencil skirt, great hair and glowing skin.

I read this post when you first published and took some time to think the answer. I’m giving here my answer, I hope you enjoy reading it.

During my childhood and teens my parents’ budget was strait and clothing was not one of the priorities. Besides, my parents motto was is and will be “make do and do without”. Now that I am fluent in 3 languages, I can swim, dance and play the piano, and don’t have to worry for my parents housing I think it was a wise choice, but at the time I ABSOLUTELY HATED wearing hand me downs, imitations, 10 years past fashion clothes, and homemade clothes. I felt awkward, ugly and unsightly. Absolutely out of tune, of time, of place.

I insist, this is how I felt during the late eighties and most of the nineties.

So, I used to believe that my friends’ flashy clothes were the secret, so in the rare occasions I landed a Benetton piece I felt on top of the world. If someone lent me a latest fashion shirt (and it was the real thing and not, say, “Benteeon”), or if saved money from odd jobs and buy a pair of Levy’s, I felt a rush of self confidence that everyone noticed. That was as a teenager. (But then, who didn’t feel a bit awkward during that time of life?)

Then, during college, I went against that need and dressed only with old and shabby clothes. I rebelled against all the money spent in flashy things and simply covered my body, trying to win everyone with my natural charm and wit. Boy was that stupid!

But it wasn’t until I got my first real job and had some real money, that I started giving my wardrobe a serious thought. And here comes the answer to your question: clothes making me feel sexy are good quality and good shape casual pieces that fit me like a glove, and don’t call attention to themselves but to my curves.

Developing an eye for good quality stuff is tricky, because particularly with knitted garments, you don’t get to see what it is made of until you wear it a few times. Brands and prices are of no help when you live in a wool producing country. Also, keeping things clean and in good shape is difficult – sweat absolutely destroys shirts, which are the sexiest thing I could ever wear. Jeans are HARD to select, and I can’t tell which shoes will be a nightmare and which won’t (well, that’s easy, except running shoes everything else will have a good shot at torturing my feet). I am discovering and playing with accessories, scarves and earrings, but one thing at the time.

I know my body’s assets but I hate feeling exposed, so my choices are rather modest. I believe that cleavage, shoulders, back and thighs… well, choose 2 or better yet, choose 1 and you got a winning number. I don’t mind clothes that cling or allow a faint see through, but I do mind clothes that show. Big no-no.

Also, my hair. It’s naturally strong and shiny, and I learned not to fear bad cuts because no matter how good or bad the cut is, hair grows back. I give my hair days off -I allow it to look less than spectacular, and the longer it gets the less I wash it (waistlong hair works best with once a week wash, I’ve discovered). I only use the dryer if I absolutely need to, and that happens less than once a month.

I’ve never changed my color or submitted it to any chemical aggression, and thankfully, it shows. I believe nature knows best, and no color will match my skin and eyes better than my natural one. At 30 I don’t have any white hairs (nor does my mom at 57) but I am not afraid of seeing it change its look. Healthy is more attractive than youth-color looking, and believe me, the most interesting ladies I’ve met are not the ones with old skin and dark hair, but the ones with young skin and white hair. Those are unforgettable, but then, these days it takes a good deal of guts to allow your hair getting white before you reach 40. And a peculiar taste to like it too.

I really liked when you said to reconsider the haircut, I’ve worn it very short and played with a mohawk and very long and worn tresses. Wearing bad clothes and believing it wouldn’t matter was stupid, but not associating my look with any particular hairstyle is more like me. And helps date any pictures easily

It is very difficult to me to throw things that are still wearable but are not in good shape anymore, but I realized that really undermines my self image. But then, I’m not exactly affluent and get caught in the “make do…” philosophy. Oh boy…

Thank you for this place to share thoughts, Angie!